pornography – La Vista Church of Christ

Daily Verses for Overcoming Lust

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 08 Nov 2025 21:42:34 +0000

by Jeffrey W. Hamilton

A young man was struggling with pornography and called me to discuss how to deal with it. He mentioned that he did better when he was a part of a program that had him read a daily passage and discuss how it applied to his problem. The problem was that a denomination ran it, and they were clearly using Scriptures out of context. He got tired of it and quit. However, I thought the basic idea was sound, so we started having daily call-ins where we would discuss the previous day's passage and question, and then I would give him the next passage and question. Most of the call-ins lasted between five and ten minutes, although a few triggered longer discussions. Each day, I would ask him if he could "survive" without looking at porn for one more day. No impossibly long commitment. Just an honest attempt to make it one more day.

I hope the list gives you a way to help others. There is no particular order to the verses or questions.

Psalms 119:67, 71, 75 - How do these verses apply to your situation?
Hebrews 3:13 - List ways lust and pornography deceive you.
I Corinthians 9:25-29 - How can you better exercise self-control?
Matthew 5:27-28 - What is the difference between acknowledging someone is pretty or handsome and looking with lust? How can you avoid looking with lust?
Proverbs 24:16 - How should you respond to failing?
II Peter 3:1 - Why are reminders needed?
I Timothy 6:12 - Why is being a Christian like a fight?
I John 1:9 - How do you deal with failures?
Philippians 3:13 - When should you consider that you have succeeded?
II Timothy 2:5 - What excuses have you given yourself for not following God's commands?
Luke 9:62 - What is the danger of longing for what we have left behind?
Philippians 4:11-13 - How does pornography show a lack of contentment?
James 1:13-16 - List the progress of sin from start to finish? At what point can we first do battle against sin?
Proverbs 5:15-23 - Explain this passage in detail.
Philippians 3:18-19 - What is meant by "their god is their belly"? How would this apply to pornography?
Hebrews 13:4 - What is meant by the "bed is undefiled"? Is it right to enjoy watching other people sin?
Mark 7:18-23 - Why is it important to stay away from lust and pornography?
Romans 1:24 - How did the Greek society decay?
Philippians 4:8 - Which of these qualities does pornography fail to represent?
Proverbs 9:17 - Why are people secretive about their pornography viewing?
I Timothy 4:1-2 - What happens, over time, when you repeatedly sin?
Romans 14:7-8 - Who does a Christian live for?
Galatians 5:24-25 - How do you choose what to do?
Proverbs 4:14-17 - Most sins start by getting close but not giving in. Why doesn't this work?
Ephesians 2:3 - What happens when you indulge the flesh and mind?
Colossians 3:5 - Define each term. Why do these things amount to idolatry?
I Thessalonians 4:3-5 - Describe why lust is to be avoided.
Matthew 6:22-23 - What happens when you focus on good or evil?
I Corinthians 10:13 - What three ways does God help us in our struggles against sin?
I John 3:9-10 - What shows the difference between a child of God and a child of Satan? Does this mean a Christian never sins?
Ecclesiastes 7:16-18 - How can a person be overly wicked? How can he be overly righteous? What is the danger of being overly righteous or overly wicked?
II Corinthians 7:10-11 - What does godly sorrow produce? Define the terms given in verse 11.
I Timothy 1:12-16 - How did Paul deal with his past sins?
James 5:16 - How does talking to someone about your struggles with lust help?
Galatians 5:19-21 - Why are deeds of the flesh evident? What is the difference between immorality (fornication), impurity (uncleanness), and sensuality (lewdness)?
Proverbs 4:20-27 - Why is it important to guard your heart?
Galatians 5:22-23 - How vital is self-control? Why is there no law against it?
Galatians 6:7-8 - If a farmer plants a seed, does he get one seed back at harvest? What do you get back from sowing to your flesh?
I Peter 4:1-4 - Why do worldly people think it strange that you don't join them in various lusts?
II Samuel 11:1-5 - What mistakes did David make that resulted in Bathsheba getting pregnant? What mistakes did Bathsheba make?
Proverbs 2:10-19 - What is the seductress's primary weapon? What protects you from it?
I John 2:15-17 - What are the three ways Satan can tempt us? Give examples of each.
Job 31:9-11 - What would be the lustful crime that Job referred to?
Romans 6:12 - How is sin able to reign in your body?
Proverbs 5:1-6 - Why does Solomon emphasize the end result of giving in to a seductress?
Romans 13:12-14 - How do you not provide for the lusts of your flesh?
Proverbs 6:20-35 - Explain this passage in detail.
Ephesians 4:22 - How do lusts deceive?
Proverbs 7:1-27 - What mistakes did the young man in Solomon's story make?
II Timothy 2:22 - What should be pursued instead of youthful lusts? Why are lusts associated with youth?
Proverbs 9:13-18 - Why is the woman of folly loud and pretends to be naive?
Titus 3:3 - How can lusts and pleasures enslave a person?
I Peter 2:11 - What do lust wage war against? How can lust wage war?
I Peter 1:14 - What does ignorance have to do with lusts?
II Peter 1:4 - How can you escape the corruption of lust?

Are Our Devices Keeping Us from Real Life?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Tue, 28 Oct 2025 03:10:29 +0000

by Scott Smelser

Technology, social media, and AI have blurred the lines between what’s real and what’s fake. From fake friends to fake intimacy, today’s world is full of illusions that keep us from living the life God actually designed for us. Phones, games, and the internet aren’t evil—but they can easily become traps. Many people, even adults, are trading genuine purpose, love, and connection for pixels and pretend experiences. Jesus warned about this kind of deception long before smartphones existed. He called us to live real lives—pure, grounded, and devoted to God. If you’re tired of fake living and ready to rediscover what’s real, this message from Scott Smelser will challenge and encourage you. Scott shares wisdom in these areas:

How to overcome digital addiction
Christian perspective on technology and social media
Why real life matters more than virtual life
Biblical advice for purity and parenting in the digital age

I can’t seem to shake pornography

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 16 Aug 2025 20:24:33 +0000

Question:

Hi,

I obeyed the gospel when I was 12 years old as a member of the church of Christ. My mom died a few months after I was baptized. It wasn't long after that that I began allowing myself to be influenced by the wrong crowd, allowing the world to creep back into my life. I do not mention these circumstances with any intention of displacing the blame, which falls squarely on me. I continued to attend worship service with my dad through school, but I knew that I had begun to drift away from a life in Christ, hanging around the wrong crowd. I never stopped praying and always felt the need for God in my life, even during those times, but I was certainly not keeping his commandments. I married a beautiful, wonderful woman. My struggle with porn started after my introduction to the Internet years ago. I am now in my sixties, and I continue to struggle with porn and lust.

Recently, I returned to the church and placed my membership at a local church of Christ, a wonderful and supportive group of brothers and sisters in Christ. But I cannot seem to shake this sin.

I've gone to a flip phone at times, but that creates a problem with banking and bill-paying apps. I've also put screen locks on my phone, but you cannot really protect yourself from yourself. I've spoken with my minister, and he's been very supportive and helpful, providing biblical instruction and guidance as well. However, I'm ashamed to admit just how bad it is.

I will confess my sin to God and ask Him to give me strength and to deliver me from this temptation that so entangles me. I also pray for godly sorrow that leads to true repentance. But then I give in yet again.

It is a vicious cycle, and I know forgiveness comes with repentance. The thought of my conscience being seared scares me very much, as I am aware of the consequences. I feel like such a wretched man. I know that ultimately, it is Christ that we should strive to be like, but I see other members, brothers and sisters in Christ, whom I look up to and would love to emulate.

Thank you in advance for any advice you can offer.

Answer:

I wish I had a simple way to make the desire to look at pornography go away, but it doesn't exist. Clearly, you are able to live without pornography. You've been hooked on it for only a fraction of your adult life. Therefore, the problem isn't a physical one but a spiritual one.

One aspect of the problem is that you've given yourself a "pass." You tell yourself, "It isn't like I'm running around committing adultery!" We tend to rate our sins and tell ourselves that as long as I'm not involved in horrible sins, then I'm not such a bad person. It is curious that a person who has no problem saying "No!" to adultery can't tell himself "No!" when watching others commit sexual sins. This is the problem Jesus addressed with the Jews of his day. "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery'; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28).

Another aspect of the problem is that you've developed a habit. When certain "triggers" are present, your impulse is to look at pornography. Every person has their own set of triggers. However, it is essential to identify your triggers. In every case, the reason you turn to pornography isn't solved by looking at pornography. You may experience temporary relief, but it always returns. As a result, a cycle takes place, and no progress is made. What you have to do is find real solutions for the problems that trigger your porn use -- ones that don't involve sin.

"Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified" (I Corinthians 9:27-29).

Athletes are willing to set aside their immediate desires when they are focused on a greater desire. Is the world and your flesh more important to you than serving God and reaching heaven? Self-control isn't something you're given; it is something you have to develop and exert. It comes by acknowledging that you have desires, but it is paired with knowing that those desires aren't your goal. See "Onward and Upward."

Often, there are slip-ups. What do you do? Do you give yourself another pass? "Well, I messed up again, so it doesn't matter if I keep going for a bit. Then I'll straighten this out." Or do you get right back to the battle? "For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, but the wicked stumble in time of calamity" (Proverbs 24:16).

Limiting your access to pornography is a good start. It gives you a breather to build up your spiritual strength. However, if there is no growth, then when the barriers are dropped, you revert to the same sins. I see this all the time with people who are converted while in prison. They perform well in a controlled environment, but shortly after they are released, they revert to their familiar habits. Get a pornography blocker installed on your phones and computers. Have someone be your accountability partner who will get alerts when you start straying. When they contact you, be honest. No one can help you when you are hiding the truth.

Question:

Thank you! I appreciate your quick response.

I certainly agree with everything you say based on Scripture. I do not believe it is any less sinful than the actual act of adultery. I believe sin is sin and that any unrepentant sin jeopardizes my salvation. I often pray that God will remove the callousness from my heart and bring me to a place of godly sorrow. I do not want to make excuses because we’re talking about my soul. Maybe I’m foolishly expecting God to do all the work, which I know won’t happen.

And I know that God tells us He will not let us be tempted beyond that which we are able to bear. That makes it clear that I have a choice. The condition of my heart scares me. I fear that I have a seared conscience. I do not want to be like Esau.

Might I request that you please pray for me? Thank you again for your help.

Answer:

Clearly, you desire to change, so you are not like Esau, who didn't think he had a problem. Instead of worrying about whether you are able to change, change! Understand that it will be rough at the start. There might be a few slips, but be determined to stay the course.

Response:

I will. Thank you!

Another Addiction

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 26 Jul 2025 15:57:14 +0000

by David Gibson

Getting Hooked

It’s amazing how many different ways Satan has to enslave us: drugs, alcohol, tobacco, overeating, gambling, etc. Our adversary knows how to get us hooked and keep us hooked.

Satan has been entrapping even more with another highly addictive practice, using Internet pornography.

How many thought when they started where this would lead them? How many dreamed what a grip this would get on their minds? How many would have ever guessed what it would do to their marriages? Or, most important of all, what would it do to their relationship with God?

Realizing What It Does to Us

“It won’t hurt me.”
“I can handle it.”
“I can stop it anytime I want.”

But Paul cautions, “... let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall” (I Corinthians 10:12 NASB).

The writer of Hebrews warns us that we can be “hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:13).

Sin deceives us when we think we can indulge without consequence. But sin, when repeated, has a definite hardening effect on us. Our conscience can become so calloused by repeated indulgence that it becomes less and less sensitive, and we drift farther and farther away from our God who calls us to be holy as He is holy (I Peter 1:14-16; 2:9-11).

Taking Decisive Action

Jesus said, “Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” And then He said, “If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell” (Matthew 5:28-29). While Jesus does not mean for us literally to pluck out our eyes, does He not mean we must take drastic action to save our souls?

Whatever it takes.

Helping Christians Addicted to Pornography

Jeffrey Hamilton — Wed, 23 Jul 2025 15:23:32 +0000

by Steve and Bette Wolfgang
via "The Inspiration and Authority of the Bible: Truth Lectures for 2005," Truth Publications, 2005, pp. 84-126; quotation from pp. 116-117.

Bette and I have been speaking and writing for decades about the dangers of pornography, beginning at a time when it seemed that virtually no one else in the “conservative brotherhood” was speaking about it. It has been gratifying to see others speak out about it and join the conversation. Some in this audience may be aware that Bette is a board-certified psychologist with 30 years of clinical experience in both hospital and private mental health settings. In her practice, she confronted and counseled many women and men, a significant number of them Christians, whose marriages were plagued by the use of pornography. As a preacher, I have learned to my dismay how deeply this type of sin has infected the lives of many of my fellow brothers, including some fellow preachers.

Here's a sample that has been in print since 2005. After discussing the Biblical condemnations of pornography and other forms of πορνεία, we addressed the leap some are now making to equate porn use with actual adultery:

“Some Christians have wondered whether having a “virtual” or “emotional” relationship or “affair” online is tantamount to adultery, particularly when there is explicit real-time talk which may include mutual masturbation. Indisputably, the emotional damage inflicted by such infidelity on one’s spouse and one’s marriage cannot be exaggerated, and the treachery is unspeakably devastating to the uninvolved spouse. Indeed, we emphasize unequivocally that the duplicity of online intimacies in “chat rooms” and the repeated viewing of pornography, by Christian men especially, constitutes a perfidy particularly painful to their wives. It feels to them as if their husbands have been disloyal to them, and recanted their wedding vows to love, respect, honor, and cherish. Such disloyalty of the heart and mind can strain a marriage to the breaking point just as painfully as actually committing the act.

“Indeed, the overwhelming sense of betrayal reported by Christian women whose husbands devote themselves to the pursuit of pornography is not unlike that experienced in the trauma of adultery itself. Additionally, there is the specter of unrealistic expectations (about air-brushed beauty, perfect proportions, sexual insatiability, repeated orgasmic performance, and other obscene myths) on the part of pornography consumers — to say nothing of the time, money, attention, and emotional energy squandered in pornographic obsession rather than invested in the marriage relationship. Still, it is as difficult to conclude that this behavior is actually adultery as it is to believe that hating one’s brother is literally murder (see Matthew 5:21- 22, 27-28; I John 3:15; cf. v. 12 describing a literal case of murder; and other texts).”

However, we would be dismayed if some wayward Christian took our words as a sort of permission to continue pornographic “affairs of the heart,” reasoning that “my wife cannot divorce me scripturally since I am only having a ‘virtual’ affair, and not really committing adultery.” This perversion is the course of the moral coward who stops short of the actual deed, fearful that his mate would divorce him and leave him with no right of scriptural remarriage. While we are not judges, we warn as frankly as possible all with such a craven mentality: you will answer to a higher authority, and all such reasoning to rationalize your sinful behaviors, if uncorrected, places you in danger of hell itself. One of the most seductive aspects of Internet pornography, literally, is the frequent opportunity that arises for cyberspace “chat.” Indeed, visiting electronic “chat-rooms” may be even more dangerous for some Christians than viewing pornographic images, since such interpersonal chat may lead to actually meeting another person in real time and space, as opposed to cyberspace. Such relationships have been known to degenerate to the point of actual adultery.

How can I gain true repentance?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 19 Jul 2025 19:24:26 +0000

Question:

[Note: This is an abbreviated version of the long letter I was sent.]

How can I find true repentance? It is what I seek. I confess my sin to God, but I fall again. I made many mistakes before. In my ignorance, I thought I would offer sacrifices to God for my forgiveness. I made many vows to God. I feel a satanic presence in my body that does not stop bothering me. I have begged God to take away my evil thoughts, but I know that it's my fault. But I don't want to continue complaining without feeling its transformation. Sometimes I think that by baptizing me, this will go away. I think thoughts like the words "lousy" and "devil" are against the Spirit.

I can still be saved. I seek Jesus in prayer. I no longer want to be blasphemous in addition to pornography. I'm not sure if He will forgive me. Sometimes, I think that if I get baptized in the church where I attend occasionally, I will be better. Still, I must repent, and for that I must stop watching pornography. I must stop thinking bad things against God I must give a fruit of repentance I have read Matthew 12.

"Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come. Either make the tree good, and its fruit good, or make the tree evil, and its fruit evil; for by the fruit the tree is known. Generation of vipers! How can you speak the good, being bad? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. A good man brings good things out of the good treasure of the heart, and an evil man brings bad things out of the evil treasure. But I say to you, for every idle word that men speak, they will give an account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned" (Matthew 12:33-37).

Answer:

Repentance is when you decide to change your mind about the acceptability of sin, and you change your behavior. "For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter" (II Corinthians 7:10-11). Though you know that you are responsible, you approach your problems with the hope that God will take the sins away from you. God promises that you will always have a choice (I Corinthians 10:13); however, the choice is yours to make.

Repentance doesn't mean that your struggles with sin are over; it means that you are committed to overcoming them. Satan knows your weaknesses, and he will seek to exploit them. You will continue to be tempted, and you might slip. The difference between the righteous and the wicked is not that the righteous never sin. The righteous change when they realize they have sinned; they don't make a practice of sinning. "No one who is born of God practices sin, because His seed abides in him; and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. By this the children of God and the children of the devil are obvious: anyone who does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor the one who does not love his brother" (I John 3:9-10).

What do you do when you sin? You get back up! "For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, but the wicked stumble in time of calamity" (Proverbs 24:16). Look at what led to your giving in to sin, and then make changes so that it will be less likely to happen.

Baptism doesn't cause you to stop sinning. If it did, then there would be no need for all the warnings to be on guard against sin. You are baptized to become a Christian and dedicate your life to serving God. It isn't a religion of convenience. You choose to worship God as He directed. You spend time learn His teachings in the Bible so you can live a life pleasing to Him. As you journey through life, you realize that your exposure to God and His teaching changes you.

I thought lust would go away once I was married

Jeffrey Hamilton — Tue, 24 Jun 2025 01:59:33 +0000

Question:

Hello,

I’ve been married for about a year now. I have a wonderful husband, and everything else is great. The issue I have is that I have struggled with lust, masturbation, and pornography for many years. I have been masturbating since I was really young, because I remember a family member touching me inappropriately, and that’s the only thing I remember about how I learned to do so. After accepting Christ in my early teens, I’ve repented and gone back to the vomit many times. It’s been an ongoing cycle.

I had to learn the hard, hard truth that marriage and its pure sex don’t kill lust. Having sex in marriage will not kill that burning desire. You have to deal with it and run from it. I’m struggling with sexual fantasies of made-up people in my mind, and it always ends up leading to sexual thoughts. I’ve been doing that as well for as long as I can remember. I, too, was groomed at a young age and gave in to sex many times because I wanted to feel loved. Now I’m grown and know that was wrong and sinful.

I did have sex with my now husband before marriage, and we had repented from it. When we were dating, I had struggled with watching pornography a few times, and I told my fiancé because I felt wrong for doing so. He was understanding but also firm in saying not to do it again.

We’re now married, and I feel those fantasy thoughts stronger than ever. Instead of looking at what I used to look at, I look at drawings or anything animated that isn’t real people, but it’s sexual to fill my lust. Even though it’s not the same videos I used to look at, they’re just drawings of sexual poses that feed my mind things. I keep struggling to break this sinful habit, but it’s just a continuous cycle.

I don’t know what else to do. I feel like I can’t open up to anyone else about these things. I’m ashamed and afraid of opening up to my husband. Not because he isn’t compassionate, but because I’m ashamed and embarrassed about my situation. I don’t want to disappoint him.

I don’t know how else to go and restore my relationship with God either.

Thanks.

Answer:

Marriage gives an outlet for the physical desire for sex, but that isn't why you have been looking at pornography. You hinted at the core problem: you have convinced yourself that you are desired and loved if someone has sex with you. It is a common motivation for pornography. Humans often tend to substitute the physical for the spiritual. You looked for security and love, but you thought these were demonstrated in the physical act of sex. Thus, you daydreamed of having sex, but those were just dreams and were unsatisfactory. You had sex with guys, but they didn't stay around. Instead of realizing that lust, pornography, and fornication aren't the answers to what you are looking for, you keep trying them again to see if this time they will resolve the itch for what you are looking for.

Marriage provides a stable relationship and a man who loves you, but by this point, you are no longer content. I don't know if it is because you fear that he may leave you, or if you just don't know what you want. What I can state is that you are looking for something that lust and pornography cannot provide; that is why you keep going back to them. They distract you for a little while, but since they are not real relationships, you are left unsatisfied.

The key to happiness in life is learning to be content with what you have and not dream of needing more before you are satisfied. "Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:11-13). Lust and pornography are never going to give you contentment.

No one can make you quit pornography. The drive to view it is from within yourself, so you have to choose to give it up despite your desire to view it.

When does Matthew 5:28 apply?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Fri, 24 Jan 2025 23:41:45 +0000

Question:

Hello,

I have a few questions about porn and lust. Jesus says, “Whoever looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). What does that mean if I’m unmarried? Am I a fornicator at heart?

I saw the next question on social media: Do those teachings apply today? Does Matthew 5:28 looking at a woman lustfully apply to digital porn today? He claimed that since they didn’t have the technology for digital porn in Jesus’ day, it’s not a sin.

The last question that I have was also asked by somebody on social media who asked: “Is it adultery at heart if you’re watching porn with your wife or husband?”

Answer:

Regarding whether Matthew 5:28 applies to unmarried people, see "Is Matthew 5:28 only limited to lusting after a married woman?" There is a long discussion there proving that adultery was used to illustrate a class of problems, including fornication.

When you are looking at pornography, you are lusting after a woman you are not married to and are likely never to marry. Yet, you are thinking about having sex with her or someone like her. God wants you to be set apart as someone dedicated to His service. "For this is the will of God, your sanctification" (I Thessalonians 4:3). "Sanctification" is to be set apart for a holy purpose. You can't be holy with your clothes off having sex with a prostitute or girlfriends. "that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality" (I Thessalonians 4:3). How do you stay out of fornication? "That each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor" (I Thessalonians 4:4). Your vessel is your body. It is the container for your soul. You have to control your body. It should not be controlling your decisions. Your decisions should control your actions, and you should treat yourself as something holy and honorable because Christ purchased you with His own blood. How do you lose control of your body? "Not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God" (I Thessalonians 4:5). "Lustful" and "passion" translate two Greek synonyms for lust. It refers to passionate things designed to stimulate lust in you. You can't expect to control yourself when you put yourself in situations where someone is encouraging you to think about sex. You can't control your sexual urges while watching pornography and thinking about how to get women to let you have sex with them.

The truth that God desires you to be sanctified is so important you cannot allow anyone to deceive you into thinking differently. "And that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you" (I Thessalonians 4:6-8).

Like all other sins, fornication starts with the problem of lust (Mark 7:21-23).

"Is there anything of which one might say, "See this, it is new"? Already it has existed for ages which were before us. There is no remembrance of earlier things; and also of the later things which will occur, there will be for them no remembrance among those who will come later still" (Ecclesiastes 1:10-11).

“Lustful passion” in I Thessalonians 4:5 refers to things depicting passionate or erotic things to generate lust in the viewer or reader. Nothing in the definition requires it to be real or directly based on reality. A painting, a photograph or video, decorations on a vase, a cartoon image, or a description in a book can all done for the purpose of causing you to lust. Just because the medium of the depiction has changed a bit, it doesn't mean the intent or the result is any different.

The argument that pornography is not a sin because porn is being delivered electronically and that didn't exist in Jesus' day is sadly humorous. Shall we say that people who kill someone with a gun did not commit murder because they didn't have guns back in Jesus' day? It isn't the tool being used that defines the sin.

The last argument is also poor. We established that looking at pornography is a sin. How does who you are with when you sin make a difference? Is it proper for a married man or woman to lust after someone they are not married to? Of course not! Think about what such a person is telling his or her spouse: "You aren't attractive enough to me, so I have to imagine you are someone else to have sex with you." That is not how you build a marriage.

My life is a ruin

Jeffrey Hamilton — Fri, 16 Aug 2024 21:16:41 +0000

Question:

My friend, I don't know where to begin. I have prayed to the Lord for wisdom. I don't know where, but I'll just begin.

As a child, I grew up very lonely. I later found out I have autism, though I am high-functioning. As I got older, I had to go to preschool, where I was relentlessly bullied, yet I suffered in silence. This was my story for the rest of school: bullied every day, ignored, and never chosen. Nobody was a friend; I was just alone. It's all I know. Every night, I had internal panic attacks, not wanting to go to school, but I kept everything inside, silently crying.

This was bad enough, but a cousin of mine and I discovered porn when I was just 8 or 9 years old. He and I did homosexual things, but we had no intercourse. However, later that year, he raped me in my room, and I was just silent as I always was afraid of what others would say or think. I remember I tried getting him to have intercourse with me again later that month, thinking that It might take the feeling away of dirtiness, but it didn't help. I went to high school. His sister and I fooled around playing at being husband and wife when I was 10. We played sexual stuff, but we never did anything until one day, she asked me if I wanted to do the real thing. I am so thankful I didn't know how a vagina worked, or I would have had sex with her actual penetration.

I am a full-blown porn addict trying to get free. I have fought for so long. I am so tired. I have taken the step of praying for a wife now that I am 27, and the Lord, I don't know why, has shown me how rancid and repulsive a creature I am. I feel so worthless and sometimes think I have no reason to live. No good woman could love me. Just look at me. Addicted to porn, and I am so useless. I could not get free for years. A rape victim and homosexual, I was driven to incest. I cry myself to sleep most nights. I had forgotten all these things for years, and then Jesus opened my eyes.

How foolish of me to pray to the Lord for a wife who loves Him deeply, keeps His commandments deep in her heart, is faithful and loyal and kind, a woman who kept herself pure for the marriage bed and did not throw it all away. Here, I kept my "purity." The Lord was always pulling me from bad situations. Now look at me. I wish for death, but I don't want to die. I feel like even if I do marry and my wife had a sexual past, willingly giving herself away, it breaks me sincerely. I want to go to sleep at night, and I don't wish to wake up. I don't wish to go to work. I want to not feel all of this.

Everyone always rejected me. I was constantly alone. No one wanted to be my friend, nor did anyone ever even reach out to or for me. I hoped that maybe I wouldn't be a second-place comer in marriage, but I am not good material for anything. I am worthless. I should have been killed when I was younger. At least I won't be living in this hell. The God who found me lost and alone at 17 is the God I can't hear any more at 27. Where is He? I need Him, and He is so silent.

Answer:

I'm sorry that you had to experience such a rough childhood. However, there is a choice that you have to make today. Do you let your past rule your life or do you grow from the experiences? "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:2-4).

Pornography is a tough sin to conquer, just as other sins that are based on lust. But difficult does not mean impossible. See

In regard to your loneliness, I suspect that is part of why you chase pornography. You think it will fix the problem, but it makes it worse. But I also wonder where is your church family? Are you a part of a church and attending services?

What your cousin did was grievously sinful, but that doesn't mean it is your sin. I noted that most of these things happened before your teenage years. I suspect that you had not yet started developing and didn't really understand what was going on. This sort of abuse tends to "explode" when the child does develop and realizes the significance of what had happened. It is hard to process knowing something is wrong, but you have done it. Like many abuse victims, you haven't handled it well and spent your adult years blaming yourself for what others had done.

You are not a homosexual. You had committed a homosexual sin. You were a victim of homosexual rape. But that doesn't mean you are the sin. Your cousin tried to get you to commit fornication, but that doesn't mean you are tainted for life. Christianity is about leaving the sinful world and becoming spiritually minded. "Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God" (I Corinthians 6:11).

"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:13-14).

Am I being unrepentant?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Tue, 06 Aug 2024 22:05:10 +0000

Question:

Hello,

I am a fellow disciple of Christ who recently has had his faith attacked from seemingly every possible angle. The foremost attack is self-inflicted in the form of a sin I committed.

I want to preface this with two things: First, I need to hear the truth, no matter how painful. Second, I have prayed and prayed over this situation but have let my anxiety run rampant during all of this to the point where I have great difficulty trusting my feelings, including my ability to interpret the infallible word of God correctly. I have even gotten some advice from an elder who is a very dear friend of mine, and I’ll get to that in a minute.

I have struggled in the past with pornography. When I met my wife, I quit it cold turkey and stayed away from it entirely for years into our marriage. She was aware of all of this. This past year, I started to struggle again, even though I justified it by saying I never went back to “full nudity” material. It was still sexually explicit and sinful. I am not trying to mitigate my sins; I am merely trying to provide background on how far I’ve come in this struggle.

Anyway, I was having a day of temptation, and while I was on a bathroom break at my company, I gave in to temptation and did a search for an inappropriate term, and it got blocked by the company firewall. I logged off my Wi-Fi immediately, and much to my shame, I continued the search on my data plan and watched an inappropriate video. Again, not that this matters, but it was not explicit, just very sexually inappropriate. Then of course I came to my senses and went back to work. This all happened probably within two minutes.

I lived in great fear for the next few weeks that my sin would be found out because of the firewall. I prayed earnestly that God would spare me the earthly consequences of my actions (possibly losing my job) and tried to move on. Weeks have passed, and I keep getting washed over with guilt and shame. This sin scared me so badly that, fortunately, I have found the strength to quit cold turkey again by the grace of God. I have repented, told my wife, and am trying my hardest to serve the Lord. That is a blessing from God. However, what is still bothering me is that company policy would have us not use personal devices at work, and it says, “There is zero tolerance for inappropriate activity on company or personal devices while on company property.” I can only assume this includes what I did.

My question is, am I being unrepentant and sinful by not telling my company what happened? The elder I spoke to has advised me to make things right with God and my wife, which I have, and that since I have not harmed the company with my sin, it is not strictly necessary to tell them. He said if it bothers my conscience, I should, however. The thing is, I have turned from this sin and agree with what he is saying.

I felt a lot better about all of this until I found the article “Sins of Ignorance” on your website. This made me question my motives and whether my not telling my company what happened, even though I don’t consider that sinful after much deliberation, might be seen differently by God. I should note a couple of things that arose from my praying about this. I have been praying to God that any personal gain would be out of the picture and that I would be able to trust the counsel of that elder, that I would be able to decide with finality in such a way that is pleasing to Him, and that my heart would point me in the right direction. Then, a couple of weeks ago, I discovered that IT and HR may even monitor the activity on the company Wi-Fi. This, in a way, feels like God was telling me that I need to move on and that it’s possible that they already know what happened and maybe assumed it was an accident.

I am not seeking justification for my sin but rather more counsel to determine if I have sinned in this regard without my own bias in the way. The reason I have not taken any of this lightly is that I know I have hurt my relationship with God and that I also need to consider the impact this could have on my family. This is not to say that the severity of consequences determines whether something is right or wrong; it is merely that I am a human and want to take care of my family and not lose my job.

I am stuck in a mental anguish cycle. On the one hand, I feel as though I am letting my anxiety run wild and that I don’t want to hear, “Depart from me, I never knew you,” if I don’t tell my company. Then, on the other hand, I have the sin of turning up my nose at the graciousness of God that has allowed me to not experience consequences from this yet, and so I’m going out of my way to punish myself. Then, of course, there is the overarching sin of anxiety and distrust in the goodness of God because I feel as though God is watching my every move, and if I don’t make the right call, I am condemned.

Any advice and prayers would be appreciated.

Answer:

When dealing with God's laws, there is always a danger of altering the laws. You can accidentally miss something God commanded. However, there is also the danger of adding rules that God didn't give. "Do not add to His words or He will reprove you, and you will be proved a liar" (Proverbs 30:6).

"Repentance" is changing your behavior and your attitude toward sin (II Corinthians 7:10-11). A part of that change is the desire to fix what you broke by your sin, but not everything is fixable. You can't roll the clock back to change what you did. Thus, if you stole something, you try to make restitution where possible. If you acted with inappropriate anger, you apologize to the person affected by your anger. Where is the passage that requires you to tell everyone you sinned? Where does God say that this is a condition that must be met before you can be forgiven? I looked back through the article you referenced, and nowhere does it mention a requirement to tell people that you have sinned. You are in a panic because you've added to God's laws.

You understand that pornography is wrong. Yes, firewalls do keep records of what is blocked, but those records are rarely searched unless something alerts those in charge of repeated attempts. It was wrong to break the company's rule, but the answer is not to repeat it. Your act of lust was against yourself and against God. Nowhere does God require a person to incriminate himself. You have to be honest if you are accused of a crime, but you should not be your own accuser. The only thing that is important is that you change and ask God for His forgiveness (I John 1:9).

I do want to point out that while you state that you know it doesn't matter, you still go out of your way to "soften" your sin. I know you are trying to ease the guilt, but you are better off being objective. You sinned by chasing after sexual lust. It doesn't matter what was depicted. In this way, you will be better able to stay far from sin. There is no compromising with it. "Do not enter the path of the wicked and do not proceed in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not pass by it; turn away from it and pass on" (Proverbs 4:14-15).

You have gotten yourself caught up in scrupulosity, which is a form of OCD in which you try to eliminate all religious errors. You have added extra rules, but all they have done is make your life miserable. "Do not be excessively righteous and do not be overly wise. Why should you ruin yourself?" (Ecclesiastes 7:16). Stick to what God actually said to do. Trust Him.

Response:

Thank you so much for your reply. At the back of my mind, I knew I was doing this, but sometimes, bringing our sins to light helps us think more clearly. Thank you for your words of wisdom and admonition.

I also want you to know how much I appreciate these articles. They have been very helpful for Bible study, but I know that hearing about people’s struggles with their own sins, especially from all over the world, might be heavy on the heart. Thus, I will pray for you just as I hope you will pray for me.

Much love in Christ.