Childhood – La Vista Church of Christ

Little Johnny Is Not Paying Attention

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 20 Dec 2025 18:46:06 +0000

by Brad Harrub, Ph.D.

I am going to say something firmly—then I am going to back it up with facts: Stop allowing your smartphones, iPads, or TV to babysit your young children! It’s affecting their spiritual (and secular) education. Yes, some of the content is pure evil or trash—but that lesson is for another day—consider for a moment what it’s doing to “Little Johnny’s” attention span.

Parents and teachers everywhere are noticing the same troubling trend: it’s getting harder to teach young people. Satan has succeeded in raising up a generation of quick sound-bite/video reel young people who don’t want to sit and learn Biblical principles. Lessons that once held their focus now compete against a world of constant swipes, flashes, and screens. And the data is sobering.

A 2025 report suggested that the average human attention span has dropped from 12 seconds in 2000 to just over 8 seconds today (Centre for Inquiry, 2025). Another analysis warns that screen-based focus now often resets in under 60 seconds (NetStudies, 2025). Studies also show that heavy screen exposure—TV, video games, and mobile media—is strongly linked to attention problems in children (EurekAlert, 2025).

We are raising a generation conditioned to quick hits of excitement rather than deep thinking. That makes true spiritual instruction—slow, thoughtful, heart-shaping teaching—much more challenging.

But not impossible. But we need to wake up and realize what Satan is doing.

When attention spans become so short, serious teaching — the kind that molds hearts, builds biblical worldview, and forms character — becomes much harder.

Spiritual maturity and sound doctrine rarely come from memes, 15-second clips, or quick takes. They come from deep digging of the Scriptures, of theology, of honest heart-searching.
Training disciples, encouraging perseverance, forming moral fiber — these demand sustained attention, contemplation, and follow-through.
But if a child’s brain — or heart — has been rewired to expect instant gratification and constant novelty, then the slow, sometimes uncomfortable process of transformation may be met with restlessness, distraction, or resignation.

Paul reminds us:

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2).

Transformation takes time, focus, and attention. And we must help our children reclaim those skills.

How We Can Strengthen Young Minds:

Limit and Structure Screen Time

When I say don’t let screens babysit your children, I am not talking about an occasional break. I’m talking to parents who allow their kids access to screens for multiple hours every day. Research consistently links excessive media use to reduced attention capacity (EurekAlert, 2025). Screens are not evil, but they must be controlled. Build in tech-free hours for reading, chores, conversation, and outdoor play.

Teach in Short, Varied Segments

Because many young people struggle to sit still for long periods, break lessons into 10–15 minute blocks with discussion or activity in between. Short segments stack into deeper learning over time.

Encourage Deep Reading and Reflection

Long-form reading—Scripture especially—stretches attention and strengthens the mental “muscles” required for spiritual growth. Slowly walking through a psalm or a parable trains a mind that has become used to rapid-fire content.

Model Focus Yourself

Stop and ask yourself what your children see you doing as parents. Are you constantly glued to a screen? Children imitate what they see. When they observe adults reading, praying, studying, and engaging without distractions, they learn that real maturity is not instant—it’s intentional.

Use Technology as a Tool, Not a Teacher

A video can capture attention, but real learning happens in conversation, in Scripture, in honest application. Use media to open the door, then move their hearts to something deeper.

A Word of Encouragement:

If you’re a weary parent or Bible class teacher, don’t give up. God has entrusted you with shaping minds and hearts—work that takes patience in an impatient world.

Even small, consistent efforts matter—a nightly prayer, a chapter read together, a real conversation without phones buzzing. These moments accumulate into spiritual maturity.

Attention spans may be shrinking, but God can still enlarge hearts. And He can use you—faithfully, steadily—to guide a distracted generation back to truth that lasts longer than eight seconds.

Education’s Stance Against Boys

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sun, 01 Jun 2025 20:02:33 +0000

Source: Brian Mark Weber, "Boys and Young Men Are Hurting," The Patriot Post, 30 May 2025.

“School has changed in ways that favor girls, and work has changed in ways that favor women. Boys are often seen as troublemakers, and men have heard that masculinity is ‘toxic.’”

"Schools have become hostile to boys, forcing them to act, think, and learn in ways that are antithetical to their nature. For one, the nature of boys to be more fidgety and playful is now viewed as a disease requiring medication or at least some type of intervention to stop them from being who they are."

"Boys are naturally impulsive, risk-taking, and physical in their behavior."

“By most measures, the well-being of boys has been declining for quite a while. Educational achievement has been going down, suicide is on the rise, and men are less likely to enter the workforce and rise up the ladder than in the past."

"The rising rejection of feminism among young men is almost certainly linked to growing feelings that American society has become more hostile to men. In 2019, less than one-third of young men reported that men experienced some or a lot of discrimination in American society. Only four years later, close to half (45 percent) of young men now believe men are facing gender-based discrimination. For some young men, feminism has morphed from a commitment to gender equality to an ideology aimed at punishing men.”

"The glory of young men is their strength, and the honor of old men is their gray hair" (Proverbs 20:29).

Is it normal for an eight-year-old boy to be touching himself?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Wed, 22 Feb 2023 17:44:40 +0000

Question:

We have custody of an 8-year-old boy. During the first six years of his life, he was exposed to drugs, sex, filthy language, compulsive lying, and a lot of antisocial behavior from his mother and other adults in his life.

He frequently puts his hands down his pants out in the open, and I have gone into his room and witnessed him with his pants down and kneeling on the bed. He jumped up real fast when I came in. There have been other instances when I come in and he also jumps up really fast as if he’s doing something he shouldn’t. He has engaged in some filthy talk at school a couple of times which we have handled.

Having said all that, his behavior has progressively been getting better, but as we expected, it is a slow process with setbacks at times. We are working with him on respect for others, putting others before himself, getting along with and picking good friends, etc. When he gets out of line, he is lovingly, but firmly disciplined. He is being raised up in the church and enjoys reading his Bible and going to Bible study.

Is it normal for an 8-year-old to be fondling himself on a regular basis at his age?

Answer:

Given his background, it is possible that he was sexually abused. Such makes a boy aware of sexual acts earlier than usual and with the approaching changes, he is going to have strong conflicting emotions. I’ve seen boys in these sorts of situations act out in seemingly random ways because they don’t know how to handle their memories and feelings.

But in regards to your question, the genitals give even little boys pleasurable feelings, though they are mild compared to the feelings after he starts developing. What he is likely doing is calming himself (without realizing it) by doing something that feels good. While it doesn’t frequently happen because most boys are discouraged from doing this, he didn’t have that feedback. At this point, I would try a calm, reasoned approach. “Honey, I know that it feels good, but it isn’t proper to touch your private areas when other people are around.” After the explanation, boys best respond with short reminders: “Hands out.”

All of this is assuming that he is not experiencing precocious puberty (showing outward signs of changing before the age of nine).

I caught my 8-year-old son looking at homosexual porn

Jeffrey Hamilton — Tue, 21 Feb 2023 21:26:12 +0000

Question:

Recently I discovered my 8-year-old son had been looking up gay porn. He was very honest when I confronted him. He told me he started looking at these images two years ago. I am devastated that I did not protect him from porn in general but the male search made it ten times harder to swallow. I gave him access to a phone and iPad with no restrictions. I just handed him the world thinking he is 8 and I had nothing to worry about. I am deeply saddened by my lack of protection over my baby.

I discovered the searches due to an inappropriate image he sent to his friends. With further digging, I found him looking up "hot naked males', and specific celebrity men naked or videos of the male celebrities engaging in sex, some of which was with other men. He says he got it from his father who ignorantly and not factually tells him what's gay. His dad tells him "that's gay!" when he exhibits feminine behavior. My son is also quick to say "no homo" anytime he says something normal yet it sounds "suspect." This "what is and what's not gay" prompted him to do his own research and he landed in gay porn.

His father is not as involved as he could be and I fear that my softness may have rubbed off on my son -- a typical single mother's fear. I wanted to take him to speak with someone as I recognize puberty is around the corner and his body is developing quickly right now. It might just be curiosity about his own body that has him looking at such images. However, in today's time, I feared a therapist would push his confused feelings (he never said he felt anything) or possible attraction to men instead of leading him by the word of God. I was also unsure if this was, in fact, boy behavior. Is he now curious about his own body parts? He has mentioned female celebrities he thinks are pretty. But all in all, I'm just so confused.

I made the mistake of shunning my son, yelling, and telling him he would go to hell. I was in shock. I know that it is not true, that being gay is a sin no greater or less than lying and stealing. Could he be gay? Is this typical boy behavior? How do I guide him away from this? I have restricted absolutely everything, no internet on his phone, parental control on TVs, limited time on electronics, and more quality time with me. My fear is that for two years he has been exposed. How do I redirect him, how do I course correct to prevent him from falling into the gay trap that has become acceptable in today's time?

Also, I found your website today, and the relief I had reading related articles and your biblical backup. It gave me hope that my son was not destined to be gay. Thank you for your work.

Answer:

I know you are justly concerned about your son, but you need to also remember that panic and rash choices will not lead to good decisions. "There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing" (Proverbs 12:18).

You can't roll back the clock but you can make the future better.

First, we need to cut the source of the problem. You won't be available to constantly monitor everything he does, so safeguards need to be put into place. On most computer systems today there are parental controls that you can turn on. You set up your son with his own account, but you place controls on the account, such as when your son can use the computer and for how long. Search for "parental controls" for your particular system.

Even if you perfectly control his access at home, he will be at school and with friends where those controls won't be available, so the second tier to handling this problem is to teach him what is bad behavior.

Homosexuality is a sin, just like stealing or lying. It is not an innate trait in a person. Thus, I doubt that your boy has been having sex with other boys. His curiosity led him to look at inappropriate things. Thus, he needs to be calmly and clearly given guidance as to what is good and bad behavior. Treat this as you would profanity. Tell him at certain behaviors or certain phrases are not polite. If he asks why, explain to him what the behavior or the phrase means in simple terms.

However, knowing what is wrong is inadequate without also knowing what is right. You need to find a trusted older male to start teaching him about his sexuality. As you know, I've written a book on the topic which can be used as a guide in the discussion. The book is directed toward older boys, but the early chapters can be covered now and then more of the book can be discussed as he gets older and understands more.

Response:

Thank you so much for your quick response and for the work you are doing. I’ll be using your book as a reference and working to control my own emotions while trying to guide my son. This was a tough situation, but I know we will get through!

Setting Boundaries

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 10 Dec 2022 15:57:32 +0000

by Jeffrey W. Hamilton

Text: Ephesians 6:1-4

I. We live in a country that is founded on the ideas of freedom and liberty

A. Yet we don’t live in society without any restraints. We have laws, rules, regulations, expectations

B. It is the very laws that we have which gives us our freedom

1. How? One of my memories of the Philippines is the intersections. They were places of mass chaos as everyone tried to cross at the same time. There were no rules governing the behavior of traffic. In a small town, it would take a half-hour to an hour to cross just because of the intersections.

2. Compare that to our large town where we can whiz to most any place in less than a half-hour. How is it that traffic flows so smoothly most of the time? It is because of the rules.

C. Yet, when it comes to raising children we don’t take notice. We see the lack of restraint as a benefit, never guessing at the harm it can do.

II. Examples from the Old Testament

A. Eli

1. Eli’s sons were a disaster - I Samuel 2:12

a. They took what they wanted from the offerings to God

b. If someone refused, they threatened to take what they wanted by force

2. Even when warned Eli did not rebuke his sons - I Samuel 3:13

3. Oh, he talked with them - I Samuel 2:22-25

4. You see Eli never followed up on his scolding.

a. His sons behavior required punishment by death according the Law

b. Their refusal to listen alone carried the death penalty - Deuteronomy 21:18-21

c. Yet Eli, as the high priest, continued to allow his sons to serve as priests.

B. David

1. David had two sons who tried to overthrow his kingship.

2. In discussing the second attempt we learn how David raised his sons - I Kings 1:6

C. A modern example - read article from Boston Globe, December 13, 2001

D. A child who gets his own way brings shame - Proverbs 29:15

III. Everyone needs rules

A. Ephesians 6:4 - grow your children in the discipline and admonition of the Lord

1. Admonition - advice, teaching, rebukes

2. Discipline - training by encouragement and punishment

a. Example: Hebrews 12:5-12

B. Too often parents give in to the demands of a child because it is easier than having a row on their hands.

1. Perhaps they feel guilty about their child’s life and hope to buy their favor.

2. Love for a child means seeing to their proper training. It doesn’t mean being loved by the child because at times they will not like the training - Hebrews 12:11

a. How many adults like being tight on cash? But it forces us to learn to manage our money.

b. Learning to grow up is understanding you don’t get your way all the time

IV. Proper discipline

A. Too often parents mistake yelling for discipline

1. From John Rosemond, “On a number of occasions over the past year or so, I’ve had occasion to watch some of these pretenders [of strict discipline], be “strict” with their children. Here’s a composite example of how they corrupt the term:

“Rambo! Give me that!”

(Rambo, age 7, acts oblivious)

“Rambo! Did you hear me !?!”

“Yes.”

“Well?”

“I’m just playing with it.”

“I don’t care. Give it to me. It’s not a toy.”

“But Mom!”

“No! Give it to me.”

“Just let me play with it for a while. Please.”

“No! Now!” (Mom holds her hand out, expectantly.)

(Rambo jerks the “toy” back, away from Mom’s hand.”

“Rambo! Give me that! Now!”

I think you get the picture. This game of “Here We Go ‘Round the Mulberry Bush” may go on for two or three minutes before Mom wins.

2. What should have happened?

a. Mom should have asked to the object and as soon as he acted oblivious, she should have lowered the boon.

(1) Off to the room for a hour or two, or a spanking

(2) Plus a loss of some privilege.

b. The child may scream, yell, or whatever, but Mom doesn’t need to justify her judgment. A wrong was done. A punishment came as the result. - Proverbs 23:13-14 (rod here means a switch)

c. She shouldn’t feel guilty, nor does she need to get angry. It is a fact that children will misbehave and punishments are needed to correct the misbehavior

B. Too often parents are strict part of the time

1. Children will push the limits.

a. Some learn they will not always be punished and they gamble that perhaps this time they will get away with something

b. Like a gambler, despite the fact that they lose far more than they win, they win just often enough to believe they are beating the system.

c. From John Rosemond, “An undisciplined child is a compulsive gambler as well. The parents of one such 7-year-old girl – I’ll call her JoJo – recently asked me how to ‘cure’ their daughter’s chronic disobedience. In response to an instruction of any sort, JoJo would pretend not to have heard or simply refuse to comply! Typically, she’d stomp her foot and yell something defiant, as in “No! I’m busy right now!” JoJo’s parents told me they “always” made her sit in the “thinking chair” for five minutes when these incidents occurred. “Always?” I asked incredulous. “Well,” her mother said, “all right, not always, but most of the time. I mean, we try to be consistent, but you know, it’s hard.”

d. Even if little JoJo was sent to the chair 7 out of 10 times, even though she is not beating the system in reality, she gets just enough rewards to think it is worth the gamble.

e. Where a gambler eventually runs out of money, a child never runs out of mischief - Proverbs 22:15

C. Then there is the problem of inconsistency between words and action

1. A parent who says if you do that again, I’m going to ...

2. The child does it again, and all he gets is another warning.

3. A parent must mean what he says. He must always be truthful - Matthew 5:37

4. By the same token, a parent must never threaten what cannot be carried out. “If you do that again, I’ll knock your head off.”

a. Hopefully it is just an expression, but even if your child knows you don’t really mean it, think what you are saying!

b. You threaten great harm, but it can be taken as a joke?

c. You tell lies, but that is all right?

D. When you give a rule, decide in advance what the consequence should be.

1. Trying to make up something on the fly rarely works well.

2. Arbitrary punishments can seem just as inconsistent as arbitrary application.

V. As a child matures, the restrictions must be released

A. Not totally removed. But they need to be appropriate for the age of the child.

1. A one-year-old shouldn’t climb on a chair, but I often use a chair to reach a light bulb.

2. The restrictions might change. I might allow a young boy to spend the night at a friend’s house – even if she happens to be girl, but I would refuse to let a teenager do the same thing.

B. A child who shows responsibility can be given more freedom, but they should know that the freedom comes with responsibility.

1. A child needs to learn how to make choices, so allow choices that will not make a difference at the moment.

2. Make them stick to the choice to ensure a well-considered decision.

3. Allow them to make some bad choices that does not cause great or lasting harm.

VI. If you have started off wrong, the best time to correct your direction is now.

What is the difference between make-believe magic and occultism?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Fri, 09 Sep 2022 22:26:05 +0000

Question:

Hi minister,

As a parent, how should I handle children's entertainment? My child loves movies that have princesses as she now says she is a princess (she loves dresses ). But a lot of children's content has a form of magic in them. What is the difference between make-believe magic and occultism magic? Is ALL magic considered evil and sinful in keeping the Word of God?

I want my child to be able to have entertainment without being a lunatic parent who is extreme, but I also want them to watch the right things. I bought tickets to Disney on Ice for my child and was so excited but now I feel guilty. The show will feature Encanto and Frozen. Encanto is a movie we've watched and loved but admittedly it does have some pretty questionable magic. One character was attempting to contact the dead and did what appeared to be a seance. I read Christian parents' reviews and some think it's bad and some think it's okay. I just feel like a bad parent for taking my child although I'll admit I do intend to still go since we have tickets.

Answer:

Make-believe magic is fantasy. It is a world based on the imagination that everyone agrees is not real.

Practitioners of the occult believe that they actually have powers or wish to deceive others into believing they have powers. In other words, they are lying to themselves and lying to others. They use their lies to control other people, make money off of other people, or be respected by other people. See Is Witchcraft Real?

Exercising the imagination is important to children in order to sort out the complexities of the world. Your daughter likes to pretend she is a princess even though you and she both know that you aren't really royalty. There is nothing wrong with such role-playing so long as it doesn't spill over into reality. See What makes some fantasy stories wrong?

Therefore, as a parent, you simply need to make sure your child remembers that there is a difference between make-believe and reality. Make-believe is fun to think about, but it doesn't change reality.

All that said, some things should not be thought about, even in make-believe. For instance, we know that it is wrong to pretend to engage in sex with someone with whom you are not married -- that is lust. Thus, in a story like Encanto, there is an opportunity to discuss why it was wrong for the character to attempt to contact the dead, as well as emphasizing that people can't really do it anyway, though God can. Talk about what the real problem was, which was not being able to move on from the past. It might be too deep at this moment for your daughter so keep it simple.

Response:

Thank you.

What should I tell my son who has a fear of death?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Wed, 02 Mar 2022 23:06:43 +0000

Question:

What should I tell my son who has a fear of death like me? He is only six but seems to be afraid of the concept of death.

Answer:

In order for you to help him, you will first have to conquer your own fears. "How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye" (Matthew 7:4-5).

Fear arises when we don't know what to expect. None of us have died before, so we don't have personal experience with what is awaiting us. Yet, for the Christian, we do know some things about what is awaiting us. "Therefore, since the children share in flesh and blood, He Himself likewise also partook of the same, that through death He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and might free those who through fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives" (Hebrews 2:14-15). Barring the Lord's return, all of us are going to die (Hebrews 9:27), it is a simple fact of life. But we also know that we won't remain dead. "Do not marvel at this; for an hour is coming, in which all who are in the tombs will hear His voice, and will come forth; those who did the good deeds to a resurrection of life, those who committed the evil deeds to a resurrection of judgment" (John 5:28-29).

While we are waiting for the resurrection, the faithful of God rest in a place that is called Paradise (Luke 23:43). We also get to join with friends and family in Christ who have gone before us. In the Bible, when someone dies, it is said that he was gathered to his people (Genesis 25:8). Therefore, one thing to tell your son is "If both you and I serve God, then one day we be in heaven together permanently."

"There will no longer be any curse; and the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and His bond-servants will serve Him; they will see His face, and His name will be on their foreheads. And there will no longer be any night; and they will not have need of the light of a lamp nor the light of the sun, because the Lord God will illumine them; and they will reign forever and ever" (Revelation 22:3-5).

The curse in Revelation 22:3 refers to the curse placed on Adam because of his sin. "Then to Adam He said, "Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, 'You shall not eat from it'; Cursed is the ground because of you; In toil you will eat of it All the days of your life. Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you; And you will eat the plants of the field; By the sweat of your face You will eat bread, Till you return to the ground, Because from it you were taken; For you are dust, And to dust you shall return" " (Genesis 3:17-19). There is no sin in heaven so there will be no curse as a result of sin there (Revelation 21:27).

Of course, making the transition is a bit scary. But then so was childbirth the first time you faced it.

"For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven, inasmuch as we, having put it on, will not be found naked. For indeed while we are in this tent, we groan, being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed but to be clothed, so that what is mortal will be swallowed up by life. Now He who prepared us for this very purpose is God, who gave to us the Spirit as a pledge. Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord -- for we walk by faith, not by sight -- we are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord. Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him" (II Corinthians 5:1-9).

The results make the change worth it.

When explaining these things to your son, keep your explanation short and simple. If he has more questions, he will ask them and you can give those short answers as well.

Should I let my children watch Ghostbusters?

Jeffrey Hamilton — Sat, 05 Feb 2022 22:56:23 +0000

Question:

Jeff,

I have kind of maybe a silly question here, but here it goes. One of my kids (a 7-year-old boy) has an interest in the Ghostbusters. I use to watch those movies on TV in the past when I was a kid. They were heavily edited back then, and I didn’t realize some of the garbage that was getting pushed in those movies. Therefore, I don’t watch them anymore nor would I allow him to watch them.

However, there was a cartoon show called the Real Ghostbusters back when I was little. I own a copy of one of the seasons. However, I have been hesitant to let him watch that either. I can’t remember anything particularly bad about the cartoon. But I’m wondering if that is something that may steer a kid in the wrong direction. I mean I haven’t watched the show since I was probably 8 years old. Maybe I popped this DVD in a couple of times for a couple of minutes. I’m just afraid there might be some pentagrams or symbolism in it that might be inappropriate. Would it be wrong to watch this if it had any imagery like that? I know that the show never had any effect on me that I know of from back then. But I want to be careful about what my kids get influenced by. He is really begging to watch that but I haven’t let him yet. I guess his mom and I need to screen it and see a little more about what we think.

Answer:

Somewhere along the line, a lesson that needs to be taught to every child is that there is a large difference between imaginary stories and reality. Fantasy stories are not directly right or wrong. However, they may be vehicles used to promote immoral ideas.

I don't recall there being much in the Ghostbuster series to make anyone believe it is reality. Thus, I would recommend looking at the shows and deciding what moral principles are being taught. If when something bad is shown, say a character telling a lie, it might still be acceptable to watch if the show demonstrates that the lying is bad and gets people into more trouble.

Symbols that people attribute to the occult have no actual meaning. "Therefore concerning the eating of things sacrificed to idols, we know that there is no such thing as an idol in the world, and that there is no God but one" (I Corinthians 8:4). For instance, I've visited countries where there is so much idolatry, you can't look in a direction and not see some reminder of it. But to me, all of it had no meaning or effect on me because I knew they were man-made. It doesn't mean I'm not going to other countries because I might see something associated with idolatry. See Should things that have occultist symbols in them be avoided?

These sorts of things become good discussion points with your children. And from those discussions, they will grow up better able to distinguish the good from the bad.

Children Are Special

Jeffrey Hamilton — Fri, 12 Feb 2021 15:42:15 +0000

by Doy Moyer

According to Jesus, children are special and need to be protected. In Mark 9:36-37, we read this: And he took a child and put him in the midst of them, and taking him in his arms, he said to them, “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me, receives not me but him who sent me.”

He also said, “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea” (Mark 9:42), followed by the hard teaching that if something is causing you to sin (hand, foot, eyes), then cut it off or pluck it out because that is infinitely better than going to hell (Mark 9:43-48).

Notice the nature of the point: "Whoever causes these little ones who believe in me to sin…" Children will come to Jesus. They will love Jesus and believe -- until someone does something to them that moves them into disbelief. Sadly, children are often victimized and oppressed by those who know better, by those who have power over them, and by those who are more concerned about their own selfish and ungodly desires and purposes than by God’s.

This means that adults can destroy the faith of children by the way we treat them and teach them. We can be the reason they move from belief to stumbling disbelief. And if we do that, we see how Jesus feels about it.

If we can cause children to stumble, then we had better pay extra close attention to how we treat them and act around them. They are watching and learning, and all of us who are adults are spiritually and morally responsible for our behavior around them. What we say to them and how we act around them will have lasting effects, good or bad. Treat children as Jesus did. Receive them as God’s children and show them the love, honor, and respect they deserve as God’s image-bearers.

To abuse children in any way is to incur the wrath of our Lord. Better that a millstone be hung around our necks and throw into the sea than to do anything that could jeopardize the faith of these precious little ones. Protect them. Stand up for them. That’s what Jesus did.

My four-year-old hates God

Jeffrey Hamilton — Fri, 27 Nov 2020 23:28:52 +0000

Question:

Good morning.

I have a few questions I am needing guidance on. My mother passed away a year ago. Then close to her one year, my grandmother passed away. I have a 4-year-old son who is struggling hard. We are a church family but now he does not want to go to church ever and he blames God for taking his MiMi. I have tried everything to talk to him to help him process the loss. In church Sunday, the preacher said that he loved God. My son's quick answer was "I don’t. I hate God." I need advice on what to say to him to help him understand.

Thank you.

Answer:

Most 4-year-olds don't have a large vocabulary in which to express themselves. Nor do they grasp the subtleties of what is told them. Often adults use indirect terms to discuss uncomfortable subjects. Thus, we say things like "Grandma passed on," or "She's asleep in Jesus," or "God took her." I suspect something like the last phrase is what your 4-year-old latched onto in a very literal way.

Fortunately, a four-year-old will not remember most things if he is not constantly reminded of his fears.

"God took way MiMi."

"Yes, I miss MiMi too. What do you remember about MiMi?"

(Whatever your son remembers.)

"I remember how much MiMi loved God. I know she is happy to be in heaven. One day we will get to go and live with MiMi and God if we are good like MiMi was."

Instead of getting upset by how a young child expresses himself, answer what he is trying to express. Reinforce the lessons you want him to learn.

"I hate God!"

"That's strange because God loves you even more than mama loves you.

"God took away my MiMi!"

"Yes, MiMi has died. It makes me sad too. But she now gets to live with God and be happy. While I am sad, I am glad she is happy. One day you and I will get to see MiMi again and then we all live together in God's home."

Keep the answers direct and simple, but always guide the conversations toward better ways to see what has happened and help him see the hope of joy in the future.