In Ephesians 5:22-24, Paul says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church…Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything<\/em>.” And, in I Timothy 3:4-5, he says that a Christian man who desires to be an elder in the church must be “one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence – for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?”<\/p>\n So, yes, the Bible teaches that God has given husbands authority over their wives. Husbands have the headship – the right and responsibility to rule. But the Bible also teaches that husbands are to exercise the authority God has given them in kindness, consideration, fairness, and love.<\/p>\n It is not enough just to establish that the husband is to have authority over his wife, and that parents are to have authority over their children. It is equally important to establish how that authority should be used.<\/p>\n The Bible does not just say to the husband, “Rule.” It says, “Rule well<\/em>” (I Timothy 3:4-5). Unfortunately, some men know they are to rule in the home, but they do not know how to “rule well<\/em>.” And abusing God-given authority is as sinful as abdicating God-given authority.<\/p>\nIn I Peter 3:7, Peter says, “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered<\/em>.” Is the husband to exercise authority over In Ephesians 5:22-33, Paul speaks at length about husbands and wives, and about authority in the home. And, yes, he teaches that husbands have authority over their wives. But he also teaches that husbands are to love their wives “just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it<\/em>” (Ephesians 5:25). Therefore, authority in the home must be exercised in a way that shows love. In Ephesians 5:28-29, Paul reminds us that the authority of the husband is to be exercised with a love that causes his wife to feel nourished and cherished – not bullied and stifled.<\/p>\n In Ephesians 5:33, Paul concludes, “Let each one of you … love his own wife as himself.<\/em>” This suggests a Golden Rule for authority: Rule over your wife as you would want her to rule over you if God had given her the headship in the home.<\/p>\nSince authority is to be exercised with love for those who are under that authority, we need to apply Paul’s teaching on love in I Corinthians 13 to this matter of how authority ought Again, in I Corinthians 13:4, he says, “Love does not parade itself<\/em>.” So authority is to be exercised with humility – not with arrogance and pride.<\/p>\n And, in I Corinthians 13:5, he says, “Love does not seek its own<\/em>.” So authority is to be exercised with a self-sacrificing love – not selfishly and inconsiderately of the other family members.<\/p>\n The Bible clearly teaches that God has given husbands authority over their wives, but it also teaches how to exercise that authority.<\/p>\n And think about this: When Paul wrote to Philemon on behalf of Onesimus, he showed that the best use of authority is sometimes not using it. Listen to Paul in verses 8 and 9 of his letter to Philemon: “Therefore, though I might be very bold in Christ to command<\/strong> you what is fitting, yet for love’s sake I rather appeal<\/strong> to you<\/em>…” (emphasis mine – bw).<\/p>\n Men, use your authority as a husband and father the way Paul used his authority as an apostle, and you may be surprised by how much your home life improves.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" by Bill Walton via\u00a0Biblical Insights, Vol. 14 No. 8, August 2014 In Ephesians 5:22-24, Paul says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church…Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[27],"tags":[1629,64],"class_list":["post-98844","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-article","tag-husbands","tag-marriage"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":40100,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/ruling-with-love\/","url_meta":{"origin":98844,"position":0},"title":"Ruling with Love","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 5, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"by Irven Lee via\u00a0Truth Magazine, January 1, 1981 An elder is to be \"one that ruleth well his own family, having his children in subjection with all gravity; for if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?\"\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":90774,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/responsibilities-of-husbands-and-fathers\/","url_meta":{"origin":98844,"position":1},"title":"Responsibilities of Husbands and Fathers","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 26, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by Kerry Blackaby As Father's Day approaches, we plan to celebrate the husbands and fathers in our lives and what they mean to us. But are today's fathers what they used to be? Or more importantly, are they the kind of fathers described in the Bible? Almost all fathers portrayed\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2789,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-married-love-different-from-christian-love\/","url_meta":{"origin":98844,"position":2},"title":"Is married love different from Christian love?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 30, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Is the love between husbands and wives any different from the love fellow Christians have for each other or for non-believers? Answer: Greek has three basic words for love, two of which are used in the Bible: Agape\u00a0is a devoted love. It gives even when it is not returned.\u00a0Agape\u00a0is\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41877,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/man-as-the-head\/","url_meta":{"origin":98844,"position":3},"title":"Man as the Head","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 13, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"by Doy Moyer Let's start with this well-known statement: \"For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body\" (Ephesians 5:23). The immediate thought seems to be that the man is where \"the buck\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":68465,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/jesus-the-bridegroom\/","url_meta":{"origin":98844,"position":4},"title":"Jesus, the Bridegroom","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 20, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"by Doy Moyer God created Adam and Eve to be husband and wife, cleaving to each other in faithfulness (Genesis 2:24). Here is the beginning of marriage, but marriage was not meant to be an end in itself. Marriage is intended to point to something even greater: God and His\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2948,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-a-wife-be-her-husbands-companion-when-he-is-the-head-of-the-household\/","url_meta":{"origin":98844,"position":5},"title":"How can a wife be her husband’s companion when he is the head of the household?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 14, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was reading through some of the questions and came across the one which says, \"Does a husband have the right to spank a wife?\" While I do agree that there is no evidence or instruction regarding this subject in the Bible, I do have a problem with the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/98844","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=98844"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/98844\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=98844"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=98844"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=98844"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nhis wife? Yes, and he is to exercise his authority in a way that shows he understands his wife – her needs, her wants, her role and responsibilities, her talents and abilities, and how she differs from him both physically and emotionally. And he is to exercise his authority in a way that shows he truly honors her, respects her, and values her (Proverbs 31:10, 28-31).\n
\nto be exercised. In I Corinthians 13:4, he says, “Love is kind<\/em>.” So the husband is to exercise authority with kindness and gentleness.\n