Good day,<\/p>\n
I am 23 years old and have never been in a relationship. I want a Christian wife and a Christian family. I do not want to commit sin before getting married.<\/p>\n
I don’t want to mislead anybody, date multiple people, or become attached to someone I won’t ultimately marry. I would rather marry the person I choose to date.<\/p>\n
So I need clarification on these terms and steps in finding a wife:<\/p>\n
Please work with me here.\u00a0If someone has qualities I want in a Christian wife, am I attracted to them? Or do I just find them attractive? I don’t mean infatuation; this is healthier. But I would actually want to know about them.<\/p>\n
The problem is, it seems wrong to tell everybody that I’m attracted to them and want to know more about them. It seems like being a womanizer, and I would not want to even have rumors about me being a womanizer.<\/p>\n
If I get to know more about a person and I’m serious about her being my wife, how do I start dating? It would seem weird to tell her I want to marry her, but I want to make my intentions clear that marriage is the goal of the relationship.<\/p>\n
If we’re in a relationship, how do I know it has moved to love? Or should I only ask someone I love out, with a set timeline in mind until we get married?<\/p>\n
Finally, if we already know we want to get married, when exactly should we get engaged, or is it unnecessary?<\/p>\n\t
There is a lot to consider when choosing a wife. This answer will be long, but it won’t cover everything you need to consider.<\/p>\n
Choosing the right person matters (Proverbs 31:10). Who you choose\u00a0can bring you joy or grief (Proverbs 12:4). God has given us guidelines, but they help only if we follow them.<\/p>\n
Realize that when you have a good wife, you have re<\/p>\n
1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Seek help from God because a good wife is a gift from God –\u00a0Proverbs 18:22<\/a>;\u00a019:14<\/a><\/p>\n 2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Do not place a priority on looks –\u00a0Proverbs 31:30<\/a><\/p>\n 3.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0We should look as God does –\u00a0I Peter 3:3-4<\/a><\/p>\n 4.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Look for a woman with discretion –\u00a0Proverbs 11:22<\/a><\/p>\n a.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Discretion is having good judgment. The ability to do the right thing at the right time.<\/p>\n b.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Men like to be seen as “heros” so they tend to pick women who need rescuing<\/p>\n c.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0But a woman who constantly needs saving because of her poor choices doesn’t make a good wife<\/p>\n d.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0It is one of the tactics some women use to snare men –\u00a0Proverbs 9:13<\/a><\/p>\n 5.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Look for a woman who is constructive and not destructive –\u00a0Proverbs 14:1<\/a><\/p>\n 6.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Avoid an argumentative (contentious) woman –\u00a0Proverbs 27:15-16<\/a><\/p>\n a.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Such a woman is rarely pleased by what is around her, including you.<\/p>\n b.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Proverbs 21:9<\/a>,\u00a019<\/a><\/p>\n Giving thought for the future<\/p>\n A.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0We tend to be rash or impulsive when we are young –\u00a0Proverbs 19:2<\/a>;\u00a021:5<\/a><\/p>\n 1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0But the typical couple, if they remain married will live together 50 years or more.<\/p>\n 2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0We see the immediate pleasure and fun, but will it last?<\/p>\n 3.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Often we mistake what we imagine to be reality<\/p>\n 4.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Unaware of problems because there wasn’t enough time to notice them<\/p>\n B.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0We tend to go with what is immediately available<\/p>\n 1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I often ask young people to decide who they would like to marry when they aren’t going with anyone and have no particular person in mind<\/p>\n 2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Over look problems, pretending they are not there or don’t matter<\/p>\n C.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0We tend to think only about ourselves<\/p>\n 1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Is this the person I want raising my children?<\/p>\n D.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0We tend to downplay dangers<\/p>\n 1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The reason to avoid mixed religion marriages –\u00a0Nehemiah 13:23-27<\/a><\/p>\n 2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Most couples think, they can handle mixed religions – he’ll go one way and she another – until children come along<\/p>\n What a Man should look for<\/p>\n A.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Nurturing<\/p>\n 1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Most marriages end up with children –\u00a0Psalm 127:3-5<\/a><\/p>\n 2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Wouldn’t it make sense to find a wife who loves children? –\u00a0Titus 2:4<\/a><\/p>\n B.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0A quiet spirit –\u00a0I Peter 3:3-4<\/a><\/p>\n C.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Not looks or charm –\u00a0Proverbs 31:30<\/a><\/p>\n <\/p>\n But let’s look at one that doesn’t involve life or death decisions<\/p>\n A.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Abraham’s servant was sent to find a wife for Isaac –\u00a0Genesis 24:2-4<\/a><\/p>\n B.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The servant minimized his risks by asking about the possibility of failure –\u00a0Genesis 24:5-8<\/a><\/p>\n\n
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