Should young people go through life accepting what parents and teachers have taught them, or should they, through honest questions and serious study, authenticate their own faith, making it their own? Should we encourage questioning, or resent them, feeling that we are being rejected and our faith denied?<\/p>\n
The road of life is quite a complex thing. It has potholes, washed-out bridges, and sharp winding curves. We are born to our parents without the ability to negotiate life’s treacherous pathway, but with the ability to learn how to do so. Our navigational skills depend largely upon the kind of teaching we get and how well we receive it. God obligates parents to care for us until we are able to make it on our own, or to put in modern-day psychological terms, until we become “autonomous adults.” Until that time we are totally ruled by the wishes and lifestyles of our parents, teachers, and others. Children reared in cultures much different from ours take on the lifestyles, cultures, and religions of their parents. This happens because children are unable to think or care for themselves. A child can be taught to steal, lie, cheat or be honest and upright. We could take a child from the most uncivilized tribe in the world, bring him to the United States and teach him to be a brain surgeon, a computer whiz, an F-16 pilot, or an astronaut. We see similar things happening all the time. It depends largely upon parents and teachers, and, of course, the acumen of the individual.<\/p>\n
What I have said about these material and mental matters can be said to a large degree about religion. A child brought up by Baptist, Methodist, or Catholic parents will very likely adopt those faiths. A child brought up to be an atheist will likely be one. A child brought up in the Lord’s church is most likely to be a Christian. I know there are notable exceptions, but they are exceptions.<\/p>\n
Parents and their children reach a crucial point in their relationship when the child approaches the age of autonomy. All of us adults have been there, though we are prone to forget that fact when our children become teenagers! Suddenly the child realizes that his ideas about food, clothing, music, religion, etc. are really not his own, but what has been chosen for him by others. So, he begins to launch out on his own. He begins to dress “funny” by his parents’ standard, listen to a different kind of music, and is tempted to try the things which his parents and teachers have said are taboo. He begins to question some of the tenets he has been taught in religion. He seems to get the most enjoyment from asking his parents tough questions about the Bible, religion, and their values, to which they often can’t give adequate answers. A good deal of this is brought on by his association with peers who were brought up in differing religions, standards, and values. How well parents and children handle this crucial period of life depends largely on how well the parents have done their job from the cradle to this point in life. (Remember, I have said there are notable exceptions to nearly everything I say in this article, but all reasonable readers will see the practicality to what I have said.)<\/p>\n
This is very disconcerting to parents. They just don’t know how to deal with it. They become upset and angry. They feel they have failed as parents. They think their children are denying the faith and will reject what they have been taught. We must all admit that this is a tough period, and one that is upsetting to all concerned, and we are anxious to get through it. Often parents are not sufficiently grounded in the scriptures to handle these matters, which only increases the doubts of the children and the consternation of the parents.<\/p>\n
There comes a time in most people’s lives when each must authenticate his own faith. Intellectual honesty demands that it can’t always be just what someone else has taught us, accepted without question. Such is not our own faith, but the adoption of someone else’s. We must be able to take the Bible and prove it to ourselves; make it our own. The fact that one’s parents and grandparents have believed this for generations ceases to suffice; one has to know what he believes in religion and why. He has to believe it because he has authenticated it for himself from God’s word, and not because it’s what he’s always been taught. The Bible teaches this very clearly. Look at some scriptures:<\/p>\n
“Let your speech <\/em>[be] always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man<\/em>” (Colossians 4:6).<\/p>\n
“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and <\/em>[be] ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear<\/em>” (I Peter\u00a03:15).<\/p>\n
“Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?<\/em>” (II Corinthians\u00a013:5).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
We must not disparage one’s efforts to authenticate his faith, but rather stand ready to help without being overbearing. We cannot help someone who wants no help, but we must let him\/her know that we are ready and willing to help. We should not resent or get overexcited when our teenagers enter the questioning stage. It may be hard for us to accept, but this, really, is a healthy activity.<\/p>\n
It is possible for one to authenticate his faith with very little help from others, but this is quite rare. Not many young people today have been well enough grounded in the scriptures to handle alone all the questions that arise at such a critical time. This is where parental failures come into play. We should strive to be the kind of people the young would be comfortable asking for help.<\/p>\n
My solution to the problem is Bible study preceded by a willingness to be guided by it. Without that, the whole matter is a waste of time. If one is determined to rebel against what his parents have taught him, and is questioning it because he sees the pain it brings them, then a change of attitude will have to be the first order of business. If hurting parents is the motivation, then nothing parents or others can say will make much difference. With this poor and antagonistic attitude, the discussion gets nowhere, and the more the young people see their questioning pains their parents, the more they will do it. It’s a sadistic attitude where one gets pleasure from causing pain to others. It is a fact that sometimes the only thing we can do is let these young people follow the example of the prodigal son and go into a far country, come to themselves, wind up in a pig pen, and realize how good they had it back home.<\/p>\n
Many such young people have experienced the almost limitless forgiveness of parents. Young people often trample underfoot their parents and everything sacred, but once reality sets in, they come to themselves, return home, and are welcomed with open arms and a forgiving heart.<\/p>\n
Both parties need to use great caution at this period of life. If it is not handled properly, ugly wounds can be inflicted upon both parties that will leave lifetime scars, make for poor relationships, and damn the souls of some.<\/p>\n
I am sure some parents and young people are reading this article at this moment who are going through this crisis period. Some young people reading this are now questioning what their parents have taught them; more by actions than by word of mouth. They are rebelling against the teaching and will of parents; trying to make their own decisions; questioning what their parents have taught them; trying to find themselves, but really not knowing where or how to look, and maybe, going about it in ways that violate the values they have been taught.<\/p>\n
Elders, preachers, and Christians in general should be on the lookout for young people who are going through this crisis and show interest and lend a helping hand where possible. We should welcome the young person’s questions with kindness and consideration, and calmly discuss with them the issues they bring up. We should be ready to study with them as long as it takes to settle their questions.<\/p>\n
Young people should realize that they can’t solve their problems by not talking about them, and they should not be reluctant to seek help wherever it can be found.<\/p>\n
\nThe Stream of Life<\/h2>\n
by James P. Needham, 14 May 1973<\/p>\nThe stream of life is wide and deep;
\nIts banks are rugged and often steep;
\nThere are harbors of pleasure and peers of pain;
\nThere are ports of spiritual and earthly gain.\nSailing along on the stream of life;
\nDisillusioned by the hate and strife;
\nMen who strive for selfish goals
\nWill wreck their ships on treacherous shoals.\nThe stream of life is often swift,
\nMaking it dangerous just to drift;
\nSo, guide your ship where you want to go
\nOr be driven aimlessly to and fro.\nEach must sail his ship with care.
\nNever venturing to take a dare.
\nFor the price of folly is far too great
\nTo hazard life to the irony of fate.<\/blockquote>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"by James P. Needham via\u00a0Sentry Magazine, Vol. 22 No. 1, 1996 Should young people go through life accepting what parents and teachers have taught them, or should they, through honest questions and serious study, authenticate their own faith, making it their own? Should we encourage questioning, or resent them, feeling that we are being rejected…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1033,27,1028,1034],"tags":[434,665,49,29,107,798],"class_list":["post-97134","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adolescence","category-article","category-parenting","category-teenager","tag-age-of-accountability","tag-child-rearing","tag-faith","tag-parenting","tag-raising-children","tag-sincerity"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":55257,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/five-smooth-stones-of-parenting\/","url_meta":{"origin":97134,"position":0},"title":"Five Smooth Stones of Parenting","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 21, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"by Sewell Hall In Goliath, David faced what seemed an indomitable foe. David's goal was not so much to kill the giant as to protect the children and honor God. He took five smooth stones from the brook to achieve his purpose. In the pervasive humanism of our society, parents\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/five-smooth-stones-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":37992,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/discipline-in-the-home\/","url_meta":{"origin":97134,"position":1},"title":"Discipline in the Home","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 16, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"by Irven Lee Truth Magazine, February 17, 1983 Children do not have the ability at birth to understand the language of their parents. 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