a prior answer<\/a>, when a person wants to do something, such as divorce their spouse in order to marry someone else, but they can’t find scriptural justification for their action, they will either try to dismiss the restriction by saying the command is not relevant today or they will try to broaden the restriction so that what they want is included in the command. In other words, they will either try to subtract from God’s word or they will try to add to it.<\/p>\nIn this Greek word, porneia<\/em> is trying to be expanded to include refusal to have sex. Of course, this would not work.\u00a0Porneia<\/em>\u00a0is used to describe illicit sexual acts, including having sex outside the covenant of marriage. Those an unmarried couple having sex is properly called\u00a0porneia<\/em>\u00a0or fornication. But if the definition was expanded to include refusing to have sex, then a girl who refuses a boy’s sexual advances would be charged with fornication! She would be condemned if she did and condemned if she didn’t. Now isn’t that a wonderful situation.<\/p>\nThe fact is that\u00a0porneia<\/em>\u00a0only refers to illicit sexual acts, not the lack of such acts. Yes, this wife is sinning by refusing to have sex with her husband — not because it is\u00a0porneia<\/em>, but because the Bible says, “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control<\/em>” (I Corinthians 7:3-5).<\/p>\nA husband might choose to divorce his wife because of this (though he should not), but he would have to remain unmarried. In other words, his divorce will not change the situation. “Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife<\/em>” (I Corinthians 7:10-11). The problem is that this talk of divorce is distracting from the problem. The question is: Why would a wife risk the eternal condemnation of God because she doesn’t want to fulfill her husband’s sexual desire?<\/p>\nI suspect that there real reasons behind her rejection of her husband that she would rather not say since sex is such an intimate act. However, these issues need to be addressed because it is destroying their marriage. It may be that she has lost respect for her husband because of what he has done. It may be that she has something physically wrong that is making sex painful. Or, it might be that her husband never learned how to properly have sex and is causing her discomfort by having intercourse too quickly or embarrassing her by his demands of how sex is done. There is no way to know until she is willing to talk about what the problem is. And there is no way to fix it until both she and he are willing to make changes in their lives.<\/p>\n\t
Question:<\/h2>\n
I know in several different cases that the wife was just passing time. And why no sex? She had planned a future divorce at the right time. She was actually having sex with someone else and that was why she was not having sex with her husband.<\/p>\n\t
Answer:<\/h2>\n
Such can also be a possibility. While unfaithfulness is a ground for divorce that allows for the innocent party to remarry, the lack of sex alone is not proof that adultery is taking place.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: If a woman denies sex to her husband, is this unlawful sex and, therefore, fornication? If a twenty-year-old wife refuses to have sex with her twenty-one-year-old husband, does he have any grounds to divorce? Answer: As stated in\u00a0a prior answer, when a person wants to do something, such as divorce their spouse in order…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[167,64,63],"class_list":["post-9600","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-divorce","tag-marriage","tag-sex"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":17116,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-a-divorce-because-of-forced-sex-in-marriage-allow-for-remarriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":9600,"position":0},"title":"Does a divorce because of forced sex in marriage allow for remarriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 29, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I just read the article regarding whether\u00a0marital rape is biblical grounds for divorce. This question is brought up at the end: \"Meanwhile, what is the husband supposed to do? I think the answer is \"wait.\" If your wife were deathly ill, you would have no problem foregoing sex during\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41702,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/sex-was-never-fun-and-i-stopped-having-sex-with-my-husband-can-i-divorce-him\/","url_meta":{"origin":9600,"position":1},"title":"Sex was never fun and I stopped having sex with my husband. Can I divorce him?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 25, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I just read your article,\u00a0Can a man divorce his wife for not having sex with him?\u00a0I am a reborn child of God and married. We have children together. We haven't had sexual relations since my smallest kid. I refuse because: We had, and still have, a lot of problems\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16947,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-phone-sex-grounds-for-a-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":9600,"position":2},"title":"Is phone sex grounds for a divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 4, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I\u00a0have recently divorced my husband for sexual immorality and abuse.\u00a0 He watched pornography, read Playboy magazines, is a nudist around other nude men and women, and also paid several times to have phone sex with\u00a0real women.\u00a0These actions have been going on for about ten years or more. I consider\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31361,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-it-be-wrong-for-a-divorced-couple-to-have-sex-since-god-doesnt-recognize-their-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":9600,"position":3},"title":"How can it be wrong for a divorced couple to have sex since God doesn’t recognize their divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 17, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello please enlighten me further: God does not recognize divorce, only our court systems. God sees it still as one flesh under the arranged covenant. But I am confused. What's the consequence of sexual activity between the husband and wife under God's arrangement? Surely this is not deemed fornication,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9596,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-looking-at-pornography-fornication\/","url_meta":{"origin":9600,"position":4},"title":"Is looking at pornography fornication?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 28, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: When a man is involved in porn on the net, does that qualify as fornication? May a woman put her husband away when this happens? Answer: \"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37394,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-divorce-only-allowed-during-the-engagement\/","url_meta":{"origin":9600,"position":5},"title":"Is divorce only allowed during the engagement?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 27, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Regarding\u00a0How could a woman in an adulterous marriage have the right to remarry after a divorce?\u00a0I believe there is something very important you are missing. Matthew was written to a\u00a0Jewish\u00a0readership, Mark and Luke were written for a\u00a0Gentile readership. As you know from the nativity story, Joseph was betrothed to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9600","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9600"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9600\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9600"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9600"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9600"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}