Dear minister,<\/p>\n
A young sister, according to her, was raped, and this led to pregnancy. Her father noticed something unusual about his daughter and subsequently drew the attention of her mother, which led them to find out that she was pregnant, and they had her pregnancy aborted.<\/p>\n
This matter was reported to the church, and a warning letter was issued to her. However, a brother is insisting that the offense calls for outright disfellowship of the sister and the parents.<\/p>\n
Sir, what is your advice on this issue?<\/p>\n\t
So quick to condemn and so unwilling to save.<\/p>\n
First, are they being condemned for killing an innocent child? If so, were they taught that life is sacred and that abortion is wrong? Was any opportunity given for them to repent of their sin?<\/p>\n
Second, is the young woman being condemned for being raped? If so, do they withdraw from people who are robbed? The victim of a crime is not held guilty of the crime. “But if in the field the man finds the girl who is engaged, and the man forces her and lies with her, then only the man who lies with her shall die. But you shall do nothing to the girl; there is no sin in the girl worthy of death, for just as a man rises against his neighbor and murders him, so is this case. When he found her in the field, the engaged girl cried out, but there was no one to save her<\/em>” (Deuteronomy 22:25-27).<\/p>\n There is a process to follow when dealing with sin. “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother<\/em>” (Matthew 18:15). The first step is to talk to the person directly and privately in hopes of persuading the person out of his sin. If the person repents, there is no reason to do anything more. The number of people who know about the sin should be kept to the minimum necessary to resolve the sin.<\/p>\n Only if the first step fails should an effort be made to establish what happened. “But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed<\/em>” (Matthew 18:16). Did people talk to the man involved? Were there any witnesses to what happened? If all you have is the young woman’s word on the matter that she was raped, then you must accept her statement. If in the process of confirming the facts in the matter, the person repents of his sin, then there is no reason to do anything more. The goal of getting the person out of sin was achieved. Once again, the number of people who know about the sin is kept to the minimum necessary to bring about a change.<\/p>\n Only if the second step fails is the matter brought up before the church. By this time, there have been several attempts to talk the person out of his sin. “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector<\/em>” (Matthew 18:17). At this point, the church weighs the evidence gathered and makes a decision about what has happened. If it is determined that sin is taking place and that the person refuses to change, it is then that the church withdraws from the sinner.<\/p>\n Even then, the goal remains to have the person repent of his sins. If he does, he is welcomed back. “Sufficient for such a one is this punishment which was inflicted by the majority, so that on the contrary you should rather forgive and comfort him, otherwise such a one might be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. Wherefore I urge you to reaffirm your love for him”<\/em> (II Corinthians 2:6-8).<\/p>\n Don’t lose sight of why the church exists. It is there to help its members reach heaven.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Dear minister, A young sister, according to her, was raped, and this led to pregnancy. Her father noticed something unusual about his daughter and subsequently drew the attention of her mother, which led them to find out that she was pregnant, and they had her pregnancy aborted. This matter was reported to the church,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[28,163,254],"class_list":["post-94961","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-abortion","tag-rape","tag-withdrawal"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":39947,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/was-the-church-right-to-withdraw-from-a-couple-who-lived-together-without-being-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":94961,"position":0},"title":"Was the church right to withdraw from a couple who lived together without being married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 19, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My husband and I are faithful members of the Lord's church. We are active in a congregation in which a situation has occurred which has caused division in the congregation. The situation is this: a man and a woman who have been baptized and are members of the Lord's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":66857,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-one-congregation-withdraw-from-another-congregation\/","url_meta":{"origin":94961,"position":1},"title":"Can one congregation withdraw from another congregation?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 2, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Can a church withdraw from Christians who are not members of the local congregation? 1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Mark those who cause division and hindrances -\u00a0Romans 16:17 2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Philippians 3:17\u00a0- Mark those who are good examples 3.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Galatians 5:15\u00a0- Don't bite and devour each other. C.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Can a church withdraw from another church? Hey Brother Hamilton!\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":53899,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-someone-attends-but-hasnt-become-a-member-and-then-stops-coming-should-you-withdraw-from-him\/","url_meta":{"origin":94961,"position":2},"title":"If someone attends, but hasn’t become a member, and then stops coming, should you withdraw from him?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 14, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Someone begins attending a congregation but does not ask to be a member there. He starts forsaking the assembly. Can you withdraw from him? He was baptized. Answer: Before I answer the question, I want to note that some congregations add people to their membership simply because they keep\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33732,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-appropriate-for-someone-who-doesnt-have-the-right-to-remarry-to-be-dating\/","url_meta":{"origin":94961,"position":3},"title":"Is it appropriate for someone who doesn’t have the right to remarry to be dating?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 10, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a family member who is a Christian and has been unscripturally divorced for a long time.\u00a0 Recently she has been seeing someone who is also supposed to be a Christian and is unscripturally divorced.\u00a0 She claims they are just friends but has referred to their relationship as\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":29469,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-we-withdraw-from-sinners-if-they-are-only-here-a-few-months-each-year\/","url_meta":{"origin":94961,"position":4},"title":"Do we withdraw from sinners if they are only here a few months each year?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 10, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Enjoy your site very much and has helped me more than you will ever know. What do you suggest if you have a couple up in years and have been married 4-5 times each, but they are summer visitors who are members of another congregation but are here four\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42384,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-we-withdraw-from-members-who-are-attending-another-congregation-for-months\/","url_meta":{"origin":94961,"position":5},"title":"Do we withdraw from members who are attending another congregation for months?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 30, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I read brother Hamilton's article on\u00a0Cross Congregational Fellowship\u00a0with keen interest and have this question: Can fellowship be withdrawn from members who have absented themselves from their local congregation for months, but who have gone to another congregation to worship without first advising their local congregation that they will be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94961","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=94961"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94961\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":94964,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94961\/revisions\/94964"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=94961"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=94961"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=94961"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}