{"id":94782,"date":"2026-03-26T14:06:57","date_gmt":"2026-03-26T19:06:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=94782"},"modified":"2026-03-26T14:06:57","modified_gmt":"2026-03-26T19:06:57","slug":"holding-grudges","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/holding-grudges\/","title":{"rendered":"Holding Grudges"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<p>by Terry Wane Benton<\/p>\n<p>Have you ever noticed how miserable some people are? Sometimes it is caused by being long on memory and imagination and short on love and forgiveness. In fact, most of the time that is the case. If a person chooses to remember every unkind or thoughtless word or deed, whether real or imagined, that person will be miserable. Either confront the issue head-on (Matthew 18:15f) or forget it. If it is not worth confronting in the manner Jesus instructed, then it is not worth holding to one&#8217;s own misery. Forgiveness is also one of the great medicines, and it does us a big favor. The other person is likely oblivious to the issue.<\/p>\n<p>To harbor grudges, to cultivate malice toward others, to refuse to forgive, is going to hurt us far more than the one toward whom our ill feelings have been directed. Here are a few helpful ways to deal with ill feelings:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Spend time daily confronting your own weaknesses before the Lord and listen to Him through the Bible in daily reading and meditation. You will see your own weaknesses more clearly. This will often soften the way you look at others.<\/li>\n<li>Pray to God for your forgiveness when you look at what your sins did to Jesus in nailing Him to the cross. Yes, you were there in attitude and in sinfulness.<\/li>\n<li>Realize what it cost God to forgive you\u00a0 (Matthew 18:21-35).<\/li>\n<li>Realize how costly it is to have an unforgiving spirit when you are forgiven so much.<\/li>\n<li>Leave vengeance in God&#8217;s hands. He will repay what needs repaying. You don&#8217;t get to handle that.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Talk to God about this burden you are carrying. But listen to what His word is telling you to do about it. A grudge is bitterness, and it will destroy you and your potential for good now and forever. That is a high price to pay for something you can control through Christ, who strengthens (Philippians 4:13).<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Terry Wane Benton Have you ever noticed how miserable some people are? Sometimes it is caused by being long on memory and imagination and short on love and forgiveness. In fact, most of the time that is the case. If a person chooses to remember every unkind or thoughtless word or deed, whether real&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[27],"tags":[1503,1863],"class_list":["post-94782","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-article","tag-anger","tag-grudges"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":85473,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/send-those-grudges-away\/","url_meta":{"origin":94782,"position":0},"title":"Send Those Grudges Away","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 9, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by L. A Stauffer via Biblical Insights, Vol. 15 No. 1, January 2015 One of the New Testament words for \"forgiveness\" (aphiemi) literally means \"to send away\" and means to \"dismiss\" or \"leave behind.\" It is used in its literal sense by Jesus when he \"sent the multitude away\" (NKJV)\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Article&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":57517,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/grudges\/","url_meta":{"origin":94782,"position":1},"title":"Grudges","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 2, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"by Matthew W. Bassford I hold grudges. It is one of my biggest spiritual failings. I'm not a particularly touchy person, so I don't keep an account of light offenses. However, I do have an excellent memory, and though it is helpful in many other areas, it is not at\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Article&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34509,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-a-person-have-to-repent-and-ask-for-forgiveness-before-you-can-forgive-him\/","url_meta":{"origin":94782,"position":2},"title":"Does a person have to repent and ask for forgiveness before you can forgive him?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 27, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I trawled through the topics on questions but can't find one that I want to ask. My sister and I are Christians. She says that she doesn't have to forgive a person unless they come to her and ask for forgiveness. she tells me that nobody got forgiveness from\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":70722,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-root-of-bitterness-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":94782,"position":3},"title":"The Root of Bitterness (Moyer)","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 31, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"by Doy Moyer \"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you\" (Ephesians 4:31-32). Bitterness is poison. It destroys the one eaten up with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Article&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/roots-200x300.avif","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":47135,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-forgiveness-means\/","url_meta":{"origin":94782,"position":4},"title":"What Forgiveness Means","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 14, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Psalms 103 \u00a0 I.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0When we forgive, we need to do as God has forgiven us - Ephesians 4:32 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0A.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Our forgiveness depends on our forgiving others - Matthew 6:14-15 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0B.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0But forgiveness is not empty words. It means something II.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Forgiveness returns joy to the forgiven - Psalms\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Audio&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":90846,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/still-trying-to-prove-a-point\/","url_meta":{"origin":94782,"position":5},"title":"Still Trying to Prove a Point","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 28, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by Becky Ren\u00e9 Some people carry an invisible burden. Long after the moment has passed, they continue to live in the shadow of a past insult, injury, or trauma. It might have been a harsh remark, a personal failure, abuse, rejection, a physical condition, or a tragic accident. Perhaps someone\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Article&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94782","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=94782"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94782\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=94782"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=94782"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=94782"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}