by Doy Moyer<\/p>\n
In short, it looks like the love the Lord shows. The husband is to love his wife “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her<\/em>” (Ephesians 5:25). Leadership that does not do this is not godly, but selfish. Godly leadership is not tyrannical. It is not abusive, controlling, or domineering. The standard is Christ, not their own desires.<\/p>\n How did Christ love the church? By giving Himself up for her. Philippians 2:3-8 shows what this means because it is what Jesus did. The godly leader (as all should) will do “nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important<\/em>” than himself. In the case of a husband and wife, he will, in humility, consider his wife as more important. He won’t act out of selfish ambition or empty conceit. This is the mind of Christ, who emptied Himself for us. The godly leader will seek to do the same, emptying himself for the sake of his family whom he serves. His concern is God’s will for his family, and in this, he will stand firm.<\/p>\n This coincides with Peter’s point about shepherds who exercise oversight of the flock among which they serve (I Peter 5:1-5). They do not lord it over or domineer those in their trust. Notice how this passage moves into humility toward one another. Leaders will seek to be examples in all that is godly and holy, knowing that they answer to God. The judgments they make will never be seen as rising to the level of God’s revealed will, but all that they do will be done in the manner described: humbly and lovingly, they will put others first while staying true to God’s revelation.<\/p>\n Somewhere along the way, culture has co-opted the concepts of headship and submission to mean what Scripture does not mean. Society sees these as tyrannical, resulting in doormat-style fear and shame. In Scripture, however, headship and submission (both exercised by Jesus) are always built around love, compassion, and seeking the best for others. Men who are controlling and selfish are nowhere near what Scripture describes. Those who act that way will answer at the judgment seat of Christ. They do not compromise truth and what is right, and this requires that they don’t run roughshod over others (which compromises what is right). They will protect the flock, which will include protection from those, even from within, who are savage wolves (see Acts 20:28-32). Those with depraved ways are not to be tolerated (II Peter 2:1-3).<\/p>\n Scripture shows us something rather different from worldly conceptions, and when we see how it is supposed to work, it is beautiful. Really, this is a working out of the principles espoused in the two greatest commandments. With love for God, we love one another and treat one another as we would want to be treated. Leadership, whether in the home or church, that does not operate on these principles is anathema.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" by Doy Moyer In short, it looks like the love the Lord shows. The husband is to love his wife “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her” (Ephesians 5:25). Leadership that does not do this is not godly, but selfish. Godly leadership is not tyrannical. It is not abusive, controlling, or…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[123,1629,1122],"class_list":["post-94456","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-article","tag-elders","tag-husbands","tag-leadership"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":41851,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/truth-about-submission\/","url_meta":{"origin":94456,"position":0},"title":"Truth about Submission","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 12, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"by Doy Moyer Submission has taken a bad rap in today's world. It is seen as terrible and abusive, and, sadly, that portrayal has often been justified by how people treat one another. The lack of kindness in today's world is disturbing. People have misused submission through selfish applications that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41877,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/man-as-the-head\/","url_meta":{"origin":94456,"position":1},"title":"Man as the Head","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 13, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"by Doy Moyer Let's start with this well-known statement: \"For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body\" (Ephesians 5:23). The immediate thought seems to be that the man is where \"the buck\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24990,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/our-allegiance\/","url_meta":{"origin":94456,"position":2},"title":"Our Allegiance","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 21, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"by Doy Moyer Arrogance and haughtiness do not appeal to God\u2019s people. Rather, humility and love do, for this is what characterizes our Lord; this is the way of the cross. We must not applaud the conceit and selfish ambition of those in powerful positions lest we find ourselves bowing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/scan0022-8-231x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":57775,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-key-to-better-marriages\/","url_meta":{"origin":94456,"position":3},"title":"The Key to Better Marriages","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 9, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"by Edwin L. Crozier via Gospel Power, Vol. 16, No. 34, August 23, 2009. One thing I have learned about the Bible and marriage is that some of the passages that will help us the most in our marriage were not written specifically about marriage. The passage that will help\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41609,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-i-convince-my-husband-that-marriage-is-not-about-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":94456,"position":4},"title":"How can I convince my husband that marriage is not about sex?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 18, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, and God bless! My question is a hard question, but I desperately need an answer. I'm a Christian and so is my husband. I have the most wonderful husband ever. He does so much for me and has sacrificed so much for me. He even sold or gave\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":83126,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/working-together\/","url_meta":{"origin":94456,"position":5},"title":"Working Together","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 10, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by Doy Moyer The people of God are characterized by work. This is not a drudgery but a blessing demonstrating God's fellowship with His people and His people with one another. Salvation is by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9), yet God's grace teaches us to \"renounce ungodliness and worldly passions,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/Men-Working-300x200.avif","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94456","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=94456"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94456\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=94456"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=94456"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=94456"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}