{"id":92391,"date":"2025-11-30T13:49:50","date_gmt":"2025-11-30T19:49:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=92391"},"modified":"2025-11-30T13:50:18","modified_gmt":"2025-11-30T19:50:18","slug":"listening-to-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/listening-to-children\/","title":{"rendered":"Listening to Children"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<p>by Naomi Works<\/p>\n<p>In the last few years, God has blessed me with the opportunity to spend a lot of time with children of all ages in all kinds of settings (Bible studies, homeschool co-op classes, crafting sessions, everyday life, etc.). I can&#8217;t even begin to express how many lessons I&#8217;ve learned through all these interactions, but I thank God for His goodness in allowing me these revelations.<\/p>\n<p>One of the most eye-opening things I&#8217;ve observed is how adults interact with children. I feel the need to preface this by saying that I&#8217;m speaking generally; the following &#8220;blanket statement&#8221; does not apply to many people. That being said, I have observed that adults tend to ignore children until they (the adult) want to interact. Example: A group of adults will call over a child and ask him to tell them what he learned in school or what word he mispronounced the other day. After the child&#8217;s &#8220;performance&#8221;, he is left out of the rest of the conversation.<\/p>\n<p>In the ASL classes I took in college, we learned that one of the most hurtful and damaging things that hearing families do to their deaf family members is ignore them and leave them out of conversations. Phrases like &#8220;Not now&#8221; and &#8220;Later! I&#8217;ll tell you later!&#8221; isolate the deaf person and solidify their position on the outskirts of the family unit.<\/p>\n<p>The sad truth: I couldn&#8217;t even give you an estimate for the number of times I&#8217;ve witnessed a child ask a question about what a group of adults is discussing, and he or she is met with &#8220;I&#8217;ll tell you when we get home,&#8221; or &#8220;Hold on just a second,&#8221; or silence.\u00a0I have been culpable of this in the past, and I hope I never again become comfortable with isolating children that way.<\/p>\n<p>People have asked me what I do to develop and maintain good relationships with children. I think the key is:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>valuing their existence and<\/li>\n<li>making it obvious to them <em>and to other adults<\/em>.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Listen to them, get excited about the little things with them (children&#8217;s enthusiasm is contagious, and it&#8217;s sad when adults squelch it instead of imitating it), and respect their autonomy. If you <strong>really<\/strong> want to be a good friend to children, actively listen to their stories and ask them questions (even the smallest clarifying question can make them feel so smart when they get to explain something). Ask for a child&#8217;s opinion. Remember something a child is interested in (a hobby or a topic) and bring it up in conversation next time you see him or her.<\/p>\n<p>In general conversation, include them and answer their questions about jokes and references that &#8220;go over their heads.&#8221; I understand that there are specific topics of conversation that children shouldn&#8217;t hear. I don&#8217;t mean that every question they ask should be answered immediately and in full detail. But there is a difference between saying &#8220;That&#8217;s something I want to think more about before you and I talk about it together,&#8221; and &#8220;Not now. Go play.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Children aren&#8217;t stupid. They often perceive more than adults do, and definitely more than adults give them credit for. If a child is aware of a conversation and asking questions about it, I wonder if adults should be more prudent about the topics they discuss and where they discuss them.<\/p>\n<p>In Bible classes, listen to their spiritual questions and answer them, even if it doesn&#8217;t &#8220;fit into the curriculum&#8221;. I promise you that running out of time and not being able to cover all your material is a small price to pay for the trust you&#8217;ve established with those children.<\/p>\n<p>I hope some part of these observations is helpful. Even if they aren&#8217;t, my hope is that we will all meditate on and apply Matthew 19:13-15 and Matthew 18:1-6 as our Lord intended.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Naomi Works In the last few years, God has blessed me with the opportunity to spend a lot of time with children of all ages in all kinds of settings (Bible studies, homeschool co-op classes, crafting sessions, everyday life, etc.). I can&#8217;t even begin to express how many lessons I&#8217;ve learned through all these&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27,1028],"tags":[358,665,110,522,29,107],"class_list":["post-92391","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-article","category-parenting","tag-bible-class","tag-child-rearing","tag-children","tag-listening","tag-parenting","tag-raising-children"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":52938,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/when-does-someone-stop-being-a-child\/","url_meta":{"origin":92391,"position":0},"title":"When does someone stop being a child?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 5, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Ephesians 6:1-2. \"Children\" has no absolute age-associated concept to it, does it? If it was only used in the sense of young children, well then. But it refers all over scripture to offspring generally. When does the principle of a child as a minor actually come into play here?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":91619,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/one-word-to-transform-your-parenting\/","url_meta":{"origin":92391,"position":1},"title":"One Word to Transform Your Parenting","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 27, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by Scott Smelser Parenting can feel exhausting and confusing. How do you train your child in a way that works-and reflects biblical wisdom? The answer may be simpler than you think. It starts with teaching your child to respect one small but powerful word: \"No.\" In this video, Scott Smelser\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Parenting&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Parenting","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33626,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/doesnt-telling-children-to-obey-their-parents-enable-abusers\/","url_meta":{"origin":92391,"position":2},"title":"Doesn&#8217;t telling children to obey their parents enable abusers?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 3, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I completely disagree that you would teach\u00a0obeying parents\u00a0to children or people at your church.\u00a0 Honor does not mean \"obey\" and if a child or adult is being abused by their parent, they should\u00a0not\u00a0obey. You may want to rephrase your messages on your website unless you are enabling abusers within\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":69333,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/whos-leading-whom\/","url_meta":{"origin":92391,"position":3},"title":"Who&#8217;s Leading Whom?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 16, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"by Perry Hall After WWII, a new family unit was created-the teenager. Before that, \"teens\" didn't exist as a celebrated age. Before that, \"teens\" were young adults. Since then, the trauma of war-torn youth has led to the coddling of teens. That has led to a verse you might be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Article&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":36253,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/firearms-and-teaching-children\/","url_meta":{"origin":92391,"position":4},"title":"Firearms and Teaching Children","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 1, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"by Matthew W. Bassford In 2010 and 2011, I became the father of two extremely inquisitive children. In 2019, I also became the owner of a firearm. Naturally, I gave some thought to how these two areas of my life should interact. Should I keep my gun locked away from\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Article&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/toy-gun-300x201.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":57779,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/welcome-to-church-kids-not-invited\/","url_meta":{"origin":92391,"position":5},"title":"Welcome to Church &#8230; Kids Not Invited","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 9, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"by Mike Thomas I was so distracted once at a church service (away from here), by an overwhelming amount of noise from the audience, that I had a hard time concentrating on the lesson. I tried focusing my attention on the speaker, but the person behind me and a few\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Article&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2005\/01\/no-children-round-300x300.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92391","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=92391"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92391\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=92391"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=92391"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=92391"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}