by David Gibson<\/p>\nA woman has a miscarriage. A middle-aged man is laid off from his job. A family’s house burns. Parents lose a teenage son in a traffic
\naccident. A child is diagnosed with cancer. A surviving spouse must now go on without the other.\n
A common response to the suffering of people we know is to do nothing-not because we don’t care, but because we don’t know what to say or do.<\/p>\n
When Job’s friends came after he suffered the triple loss of his children, wealth, and health, they may have meant well, but succeeded only in adding to his grief by their ill-chosen words. “Sorry comforters<\/em>” is what Job called them (Job 16:2 NASB).<\/p>\n How can we effectively show concern-especially when we haven’t experienced what others are suffering?<\/p>\n How best to help<\/p>\n Jonathan was a great encouragement to David during a dark time in his life. Jonathan found his friend and wept with him (I Samuel 20:31-42; 23:15-16).<\/p>\n Many years later, David was again on the run. Barzillai, along with others, brought bedding and abundant food supplies for David and those with him-“for they said, ‘The people are hungry and weary and thirsty in the wilderness’<\/em>” (II Samuel 17:27-29).<\/p>\n When Paul was imprisoned in Rome, he so appreciated the loyal support of his friend Onesiphorus, who “often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains; but when he was in Rome, he eagerly searched for me and found me<\/em>” (II Timothy 1:16-17).<\/p>\n Many of us know what it’s like to be on the receiving end when friends show up with a hug, a kind word, a listening ear, a prayer, a gift of food, and who even run errands for us and help with household chores.<\/p>\n Knowing the comfort others have shown us in our own time of need, how then can we pass along the kindness the next time we learn of a loss?<\/p>\n With so many hurting people around us, we certainly don’t lack opportunities.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" by David Gibson A woman has a miscarriage. A middle-aged man is laid off from his job. A family’s house burns. Parents lose a teenage son in a traffic accident. A child is diagnosed with cancer. A surviving spouse must now go on without the other. Responding to loss A common response to the suffering…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[652],"class_list":["post-90873","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-article","tag-grief"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":48766,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-god-expect-me-to-remain-a-christian-in-the-face-of-the-death-of-my-son\/","url_meta":{"origin":90873,"position":0},"title":"How can God expect me to remain a Christian in the face of the death of my son?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 26, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi there, I recently lost my newborn son due to a premature birth about a month ago. It has been really hard on both me and my husband. We have been gradually picking up our regular routines since it happened, like going back to work and church, but I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16156,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-do-i-say-to-people-who-are-suffering-great-grief\/","url_meta":{"origin":90873,"position":1},"title":"What do I say to people who are suffering great grief?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 24, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What do I say to people who are suffering great grief? Answer: Much of what you or I would like to say seems so empty or inadequate. How do you tell someone who has just lost a child you know how she feels when you haven't experienced such grief?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4797,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-problem-with-happy-face-christianity\/","url_meta":{"origin":90873,"position":2},"title":"The Problem with Happy-Face Christianity","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 30, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"by Matthew Bassford \"Like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar on soda, is he who sings songs to a troubled heart\" (Proverbs 25:20). The other day, a friend of mine unburdened himself on Facebook about his struggles with depression. He talked about his\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/faces-64171_960_720-212x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":84482,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/why-didnt-he-save\/","url_meta":{"origin":90873,"position":3},"title":"Why Didn’t He Save?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 12, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by Chadwick Brewer Often, we hear people lament the loss of a loved one. They are hurting and mourning the loss of those they hold dear, and they struggle with the question of why Christ would not take away the pain, suffering, and loss - especially when He had done\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":28259,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-help-a-friend-who-is-blaming-god-for-her-mothers-death\/","url_meta":{"origin":90873,"position":4},"title":"How do I help a friend who is blaming God for her mother’s death?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 31, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: A friend's mother has died. The friend is approximately 40. She blames God for the death of her mother and is becoming more and more bitter about losing her mother. What can we share with her from God's word to help her? Answer: While I considered your question important,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":27289,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/will-things-go-my-way-for-once\/","url_meta":{"origin":90873,"position":5},"title":"Will things go my way for once?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 11, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good day, Sir. I am happy that you have always been there for me to encourage me whenever I need it, but I feel my problems do not want to let me be. I pray and I fast, but nothing tends to work the way I ever want them.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90873","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=90873"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90873\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=90873"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=90873"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=90873"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}When others have lightened our load<\/h2>\n