Good morning, sir,<\/p>\n
I hope you are well. Please be patient with me. Life turns on me, and I end up not knowing even that which I thought I knew.<\/p>\n
I am crying as I type this. I am caring for my youngest child while I work a full-time job from home. I’m also taking classes. Today, I am on a study leave because I have a test tomorrow, for which I have barely prepared.\u00a0I managed to get my children to live with my husband and me, instead of with my mom, who is several hours away. My son was baptized with the help of the church leaders in our local congregation.<\/p>\n
A few years ago, my father-in-law passed away. When I reflect on this, I realize my marriage has not been the same after that event.<\/p>\n
A few days ago, I looked at my husband’s phone and saw he was texting women, flirting with some of them, and drinking with some of them. He had a phone number, which I assume belonged to a woman, with whom he seemed to be video calling daily, and more than once a day.<\/p>\n
Previously, a woman called my husband while we were traveling. This woman called him for three hours straight. He claimed they are just friends, but I don’t think that even I, as his wife, would feel so entitled to call him, to the point of calling him for three hours straight. Soon after that, he started to have weekends when he wouldn’t sleep at home.<\/p>\n
Nonetheless, I stayed. My husband was never sorry or anything, but for my sake, I decided to forgive him while he was not sorry. I begged him to stop. He promised that he would. However, earlier this year, he started sleeping away from home again. He claimed to have been with his friends. Throughout the year, on weekends, I wonder if he will sleep at home or not. Now, seeing those chats with women made me realize that this man no longer loves me. I now look back and realize that he was never sorry because he didn’t believe he had done anything wrong.<\/p>\n
Perhaps I should leave the house with the children so he can be with these women. But where do I go with children who are currently in school? They can’t just change schools in the middle of the school year. I certainly would not be able to afford to pay for everything if I leave.<\/p>\n
What is more painful is that I love my husband. I am ready to forgive him, if only he were sorry and repentant. But he is not. So do I stay and let him treat me like a doormat? I am afraid that if I stay, I am going to end up resenting him, that our marriage is not going to be a safe place anymore. This is hurting me emotionally and is affecting my mental health.<\/p>\n
My husband has become what I left my ex for: cheating and drinking alcohol. But my husband is a Christian. I don’t know why or how he lives in sin and attends church on Sunday as if all is well. I am not judging him, but how am I expected to worship in the same congregation with him?<\/p>\n
Last year, I told my father about my husband’s behavior, and my father suggested we get counseling from the church, which we did last year. It seems it was all in vain. No changed behavior at all. At this point, I think my husband doesn’t respect our leadership in the local congregation anymore. He doesn’t respect God anymore. The things of God take the back seat. He would rather take time off to be with his friends (non-Christians) than take time off for a church event.<\/p>\n
I don’t know what to do anymore.<\/p>\n
Thank you in advance, sir.<\/p>\n
Kind regards.<\/p>\n\t
Your husband calls himself a Christian, but he is not following Christ. It sounds like you’ve tried to help him change, but he isn’t interested. Thus, you need to make up your mind. You can choose to divorce him because of his sexual sins (Matthew 19:9). With that choice, you’ll need to consider where you and the children will live. You might want to consider living with or near your parents so that they can help with the care of the children.<\/p>\n
Staying silent about your husband’s sins is not helping him change. You should be talking to the elders at your church since he is not listening to you. Perhaps they will be able to help him. If he refuses to listen to the church, then he will likely be withdrawn from until he gives up his sins.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: Good morning, sir, I hope you are well. Please be patient with me. Life turns on me, and I end up not knowing even that which I thought I knew. I am crying as I type this. I am caring for my youngest child while I work a full-time job from home. I’m also…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[66,167,1104],"class_list":["post-90457","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-adultery","tag-divorce","tag-drunkenness"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":17100,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-need-to-renew-my-vows-with-my-current-husband-since-my-former-husband-has-died\/","url_meta":{"origin":90457,"position":0},"title":"Do I need to renew my vows with my current husband since my former husband has died?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 28, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have spoken to several sound brethren who are elders and ministers in churches of Christ in regard to marriage, divorce, and remarriage. This is the situation that I addressed to them concerning myself: I was in a previous marriage with a man for twelve years. The man I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":51387,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-need-to-walk-away-from-this-relationship\/","url_meta":{"origin":90457,"position":1},"title":"Do I need to walk away from this relationship?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 15, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good afternoon, I feel like I have backed myself into a corner and am not sure what I should do. About 15 years ago, I got involved with a married woman. As a result, she left her husband, and we have been living together (not married) ever since. A\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17514,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-just-found-out-my-husband-had-an-affair-eight-years-ago-am-i-free-to-leave-this-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":90457,"position":2},"title":"I just found out my husband had an affair eight years ago. Am I free to leave this marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 22, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I would like some more information on fornication. My husband confessed to me this morning that he had a physical affair with a co-worker eight years ago. He said it just happened once and he has hated himself for it ever since. His behavior so long ago explains a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31558,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-committed-adultery-divorced-my-husband-and-married-my-lover-am-i-still-in-adultery\/","url_meta":{"origin":90457,"position":3},"title":"I committed adultery, divorced my husband, and married my lover. Am I still in adultery?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 2, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My first husband committed adultery in our relationship through pornography. I also committed adultery against him, divorced him, and married the man I committed adultery with. The man I committed adultery with left his spouse to marry me also. My first husband died a few years ago, which I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37904,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-second-husband-left-and-now-wants-a-divorce-what-should-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":90457,"position":4},"title":"My second husband left and now wants a divorce. What should I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 19, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a past that I am not proud of. I was in and out of the church and never truly committed to God.\u00a0 I did ask for salvation when I was around 19 but was still not committed to God. I was married for the wrong reasons to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37773,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/we-were-doing-well-a-few-years-ago-but-ive-slipped-into-sexual-sins\/","url_meta":{"origin":90457,"position":5},"title":"We were doing well a few years ago, but I’ve slipped into sexual sins","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Minister, I came upon your website via Google, and read a few of your articles, and found them to be interesting and very helpful, Thank you. My problem is that I became a \"Born Again\" Christian a few years ago when I was in my mid-thirties. My husband\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90457","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=90457"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90457\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=90457"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=90457"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=90457"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}