Bette and I have been speaking and writing for decades about the dangers of pornography, beginning at a time when it seemed that virtually no one else in the “conservative brotherhood” was speaking about it. It has been gratifying to see others speak out about it and join the conversation. Some in this audience may be aware that Bette is a board-certified psychologist with 30 years of clinical experience in both hospital and private mental health settings. In her practice, she confronted and counseled many women and men, a significant number of them Christians, whose marriages were plagued by the use of pornography. As a preacher, I have learned to my dismay how deeply this type of sin has infected the lives of many of my fellow brothers, including some fellow preachers.<\/p>\n
Here’s a sample that has been in print since 2005. After discussing the Biblical condemnations of pornography and other forms of \u03c0\u03bf\u03c1\u03bd\u03b5\u03af\u03b1, we addressed the leap some are now making to equate porn use with actual adultery:<\/p>\n
“Some Christians have wondered whether having a “virtual” or “emotional” relationship or “affair” online is tantamount to adultery, particularly when there is explicit real-time talk which may include mutual masturbation. Indisputably, the emotional damage inflicted by such infidelity on one’s spouse and one’s marriage cannot be exaggerated, and the treachery is unspeakably devastating to the uninvolved spouse. Indeed, we emphasize unequivocally that the duplicity of online intimacies in “chat rooms” and the repeated viewing of pornography, by Christian men especially, constitutes a perfidy particularly painful to their wives. It feels to them as if their husbands have been disloyal to them, and recanted their wedding vows to love, respect, honor, and cherish. Such disloyalty of the heart and mind can strain a marriage to the breaking point just as painfully as actually committing the act.<\/p>\n
“Indeed, the overwhelming sense of betrayal reported by Christian women whose husbands devote themselves to the pursuit of pornography is not unlike that experienced in the trauma of adultery itself. Additionally, there is the specter of unrealistic expectations (about air-brushed beauty, perfect proportions, sexual insatiability, repeated orgasmic performance, and other obscene myths) on the part of pornography consumers – to say nothing of the time, money, attention, and emotional energy squandered in pornographic obsession rather than invested in the marriage relationship. Still, it is as difficult to conclude that this behavior is actually adultery as it is to believe that hating one’s brother is literally murder (see Matthew 5:21- 22, 27-28; I John 3:15; cf. v. 12 describing a literal case of murder; and other texts).”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
However, we would be dismayed if some wayward Christian took our words as a sort of permission to continue pornographic “affairs of the heart,” reasoning that “my wife cannot divorce me scripturally since I am only having a ‘virtual’ affair, and not really committing adultery.” This perversion is the course of the moral coward who stops short of the actual deed, fearful that his mate would divorce him and leave him with no right of scriptural remarriage. While we are not judges, we warn as frankly as possible all with such a craven mentality: you will answer to a higher authority, and all such reasoning to rationalize your sinful behaviors, if uncorrected, places you in danger of hell itself. One of the most seductive aspects of Internet pornography, literally, is the frequent opportunity that arises for cyberspace “chat.” Indeed, visiting electronic “chat-rooms” may be even more dangerous for some Christians than viewing pornographic images, since such interpersonal chat may lead to actually meeting another person in real time and space, as opposed to cyberspace. Such relationships have been known to degenerate to the point of actual adultery.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
by Steve and Bette Wolfgang via “The Inspiration and Authority of the Bible: Truth Lectures for 2005,” Truth Publications, 2005, pp. 84-126; quotation from pp. 116-117. Bette and I have been speaking and writing for decades about the dangers of pornography, beginning at a time when it seemed that virtually no one else in the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[226],"class_list":["post-88860","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-article","tag-pornography"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2037,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-pornography-change-a-person\/","url_meta":{"origin":88860,"position":0},"title":"Does pornography change a person?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 3, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My ex-boyfriend told me when I shared with him that it hurt my feelings he was using pornography, \"Well, good riddance to a woman like that!\u00a0 Everybody does it!\u00a0 Guys use it to get off.\"\u00a0 He would also say things like, \"It took me two years to get over\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":60020,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/thanks-for-the-article-lies-pornography-tells-men\/","url_meta":{"origin":88860,"position":1},"title":"Thanks for the article “Lies Pornography Tells Men”","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 19, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Thank you for taking the time to write the article titled \"Lies Pornography Tells Men.\" \u00a0I have been open quite often (maybe even too much, thinking transparency will help me) about an ongoing struggle with pornography since my late teens (I'm now in my late fifties).\u00a0 Any of the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":26700,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-you-say-pornography-is-not-fornication-are-you-not-accepting-pornography\/","url_meta":{"origin":88860,"position":2},"title":"If you say pornography is not fornication, are you not accepting pornography?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 14, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm sorry but I strongly disagree with \"Is looking at pornography fornication?\" Not that I would divorce my future husband if this was the case, but that I would totally support a lady who does because when you're married to a man, he is the only person who should\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39825,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-need-to-confess-my-use-of-pornography-to-my-preacher\/","url_meta":{"origin":88860,"position":3},"title":"Do I need to confess my use of pornography to my preacher?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: God bless. I have been a Christian for many years, but I was addicted to porn and I committed fornication against myself (my body). I never had sex with anybody, just myself. I have repented from that sin, and I recognize my sin, so do I need to confess\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16357,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-found-out-my-12-year-old-son-is-looking-at-pornography-how-do-i-handle-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":88860,"position":4},"title":"I found out my 12-year-old son is looking at pornography. How do I handle it?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 12, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My son is 12 and is at present in the eighth grade. I have got ample evidence that he is visiting some pornography sites secretly. His friends in the school told him about these dirty web sites and how to find them. How I should handle this issue? We\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Adolescence"","block_context":{"text":"Adolescence","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/parenting\/adolescence\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2019,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-is-the-spiritual-impact-of-online-pornography\/","url_meta":{"origin":88860,"position":5},"title":"What is the spiritual impact of online pornography?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 28, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What is the spiritual impact of online pornography?\u00a0 I dated a man who used it a lot and even though we are no longer dating, I feel icky about his choice to use this. 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