Hi,<\/p>\n
How are you? I’ve been doing well. It has been a rough journey. It’s taken me a while to get to where I’m at and sober from alcohol for the last four months. I’m still working on other areas in addiction, of course.<\/p>\n
I’ve always had such a strong desire for a spouse. Which, of course, I chose to look for it in my own way, which has not led to anything fruitful in my life but spiritual death. I know right now I need to focus on my intimacy with God first and my identity before entering a relationship. I also know those desires are from God, and I should not feel guilty for wanting a spouse. I guess my question is, how do I steward those desires in a way that doesn’t take priority over God and become an idol? I have relied on the validation of women and not so much on God, even though I see progress. I want to trust that He cares about those things too, and He’s the ultimate matchmaker, but I feel like it’s not coming naturally. However, I also want to focus on growing right now.<\/p>\n\t
An idol is something that is not divine that a person worships (Deuteronomy 11:16), serves (Galatians 4:8), and follows (Deuteronomy 6:13-15). Idols are wrong because they are things created by men, often from the materials of this world (Isaiah 44:9-20).\u00a0<\/p>\n
To call such things “gods” is a mockery of the only true God.<\/p>\n
So why do people make idols? The most common answer is so they can live by their own rules (Romans 1:22-25). Since idols are not real, the idol merely reflects what its creator wants.<\/p>\n
Idols can be more than statues. For example, some make wealth into an idol. Jesus warned, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth<\/em>” (Matthew 6:24). People want wealth so much, that they use it as their moral barometer to dictate their choices. Should I choose X or Y? The man who worships wealth will first want to know which choice will make him the most money.<\/p>\n It doesn’t have to be limited to money. Anything that a person desires, even if it means breaking the laws of God, becomes an idol. “Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry<\/em>” (Colossians 3:5). The person’s desires — his greed — are dictating his choices “For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God<\/em>” (Ephesians 5:5). These things are want receives his praise. They are what he trusts. In other words, his appetite becomes his god, “whose end is destruction, whose god is their appetite, and whose glory is in their shame, who set their minds on earthly things<\/em>” (Philippians 3:19). His “god” gives him license to do as he pleases (Ephesians 4:19). However, like all sins, he becomes a slave to his own appetite (Galatians 4:8-9). It controls his life.<\/p>\n This is why Samuel said that stubbornness is like acting without law and idolatry (I Samuel 15:23). The word\u00a0patsar<\/i>, translated as stubbornness or insubordination, means to push or urge. In this case, it refers to pushing your own agenda.<\/p>\n Therefore, idolatry isn’t just something you like a lot or find happiness in. Idolatry is when a person lives for his desires. He obeys his desires, and they control his behavior. It can be something a person believes will change his life if he possesses it. An object that brings him “good luck,” if you will. And idolatry is something (besides God) that a person puts his trust in and calls on to save him from trouble.<\/p>\n Notice that you have put your desires ahead of God. This probably led you to sin as you tried to find “love,” only to find you didn’t achieve your goal. Too often, guys think that actions, such as having sex, will create love. Instead of approaching life your way, learn to listen to God’s advice that He gives in the Bible. Don’t compromise your relationship with God for offers of worldly pleasure.<\/p>\n Paul had to deal with false teachers trying to undermine his authority and make him look bad in the eyes of Christians. “But to me it is a very small thing that I may be examined by you, or by any human court; in fact, I do not even examine myself. For I am conscious of nothing against myself, yet I am not by this acquitted; but the one who examines me is the Lord<\/em>” (I Corinthians 4:3-4). You need to recognize the same about yourself. You don’t need validation by error-prone humans. You serve the King of kings. Only his thoughts matter, not even your own thoughts about yourself matter. Therefore, compare your life to what God teaches us, and if you find something wrong in your life, correct it to match what pleases the Lord.<\/p>\n\t Pastor,<\/p>\n Thank you again for everything, for speaking the truth, and giving me that tough love. This has been the hardest year for me. It’s been up and down, mainly because I’ve made poor decisions and not handled the pain of a loss in a good way. But God always keeps bringing me back and surrounding me with people who care about me. Getting out of prison this last time, I thought I would definitely make better choices, but I let that distraction get in the way and take me off course. I’ve paid the consequences for it. Thank God that He’s been merciful to me and gracious. I appreciate you and your time for always being straightforward.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Hi, How are you? I’ve been doing well. It has been a rough journey. It’s taken me a while to get to where I’m at and sober from alcohol for the last four months. I’m still working on other areas in addiction, of course. I’ve always had such a strong desire for a spouse.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,304,515],"class_list":["post-88630","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-idolatry","tag-priorities"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4433,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-god-no-longer-a-priority-if-i-visit-other-congregations-to-look-for-a-wife\/","url_meta":{"origin":88630,"position":0},"title":"Is God no longer a priority if I visit other congregations to look for a wife?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 20, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: God must always come first and our mission in life must be Jesus' mission, but how do I deal with the underlying problem of being alone? In the most humble way, I make mention of, yes, He is with us until the end of the age; yes, we will\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39718,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-god-keeping-the-woman-i-want-to-marry-from-me-because-of-my-sins-with-pornography\/","url_meta":{"origin":88630,"position":1},"title":"Is God keeping the woman I want to marry from me because of my sins with pornography?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 15, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I'm having huge problems with pornography and have a question about a girl I like, but she doesn't like me back. If you could, please read all that I will write and God give you the wisdom to help me with this. Thank you. I'm a male, age\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34381,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-i-know-that-im-serving-god\/","url_meta":{"origin":88630,"position":2},"title":"How can I know that I’m serving God?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 12, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: OK, simple question: I want to know what I can do to just serve God and know it's Him I'm serving. Answer: \"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man's all. For God will bring every work into\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":60235,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-is-meant-by-god-will-give-you-the-desires-of-your-heart\/","url_meta":{"origin":88630,"position":3},"title":"What is meant by “God will give you the desires of your heart”?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 9, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I hope that you are blessed in every aspect of life. I am emailing you because I want to understand the meaning of the scripture in Psalm 37:4, which says that God will give you the desires of your heart. Now, I do not want to confuse the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":46554,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-you-think-god-brought-us-together-so-we-can-live-together\/","url_meta":{"origin":88630,"position":4},"title":"Do you think God brought us together so we can live together?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 23, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a lot of unanswered questions. I am not at peace in my current living situation. Recently I agreed to live with a Christian man whom I've known for a long time, and I've grown very uncomfortable with the arrangements. Let me start by saying that my ex-husband\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":11010,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-are-your-thoughts-on-how-bad-my-marriage-is\/","url_meta":{"origin":88630,"position":5},"title":"What are your thoughts on how bad my marriage is?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 7, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I've been married for 23 years and I'm no longer in love with my husband and don't desire to have sex with him. 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