I am 43 male Christian. I have never been married, and I am a virgin.<\/p>\n
I never chose to be single or celibate. I could never gain the interest of the opposite sex, so I have been forced <\/b>to be celibate. Does being forced to be celibate and not being able to get a relationship with a woman because women never liked me make God think I’m a loser and make my being single a sin?<\/p>\n
I feel angry because I want to be clean sexually, but Paul says if a man can’t control himself, he should marry to avoid sexual immorality. That sounds like Paul is saying that if a man is like me, who has strong desires and doesn’t marry, he will commit sexual immorality. I feel that by being forced to be single and not even having the option to fornicate, I am forced into the sexual sins of my heart and eyes.\u00a0 I feel I am stuck and that my circumstances forbid me to marry.<\/p>\n
The whole modern society gives women too much power in relationships. A man has to flirt to get a woman to say yes to a relationship, and I can’t flirt and think flirting is deceptive. I wouldn’t be single against my will if I were alive in biblical times. I don’t know how God will judge me fairly since I am being forced into celibacy. I want to not sin sexually in my thoughts and with my eyes and inherit the kingdom of God, but being forced to be single seems to force me to stumble with my thoughts and eyes, against my wishes. Whenever I approached a woman, she said she was in a relationship or didn’t want anything to do with me. In the Bible, you could pay a girl’s father money for his daughter, and she would become the man’s wife. The Bible says the woman was created for the man, not the man for the woman, so women having all the social power today where a man is required to flirt with a woman to get her to like him makes women have all the say so, and gives men no rights, and requires men to flirt and play the so-called “dating game.”<\/p>\n
I don’t know what God thinks of my situation and how I can stay pure with my eyes and heart since I burn, as Paul says, but I can’t make a marriage happen to avoid burning.<\/p>\n\t
“But He said to them, ‘Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it’<\/em>” (Matthew 19:11-12).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Life isn’t often fair. We have to deal with people, and not everyone is nice.<\/p>\n
I don’t know much about your situation, but it sounds like you are meeting women and haven’t found someone who finds you interesting yet. Dating and marriage involve two people. It has always been that way, even back in biblical days. For example, Jacob took a liking to Rachel, and she liked him in return. Jacob then negotiated a dowry to marry her. When Abraham’s servant asked to arrange a marriage between Rebekah and Isaac, Rebekah was first asked if she agreed. Therefore, the idea that men just “bought” a wife in the old days is not supported by the Bible. Marriage is about two people agreeing to work together for the rest of their lives.<\/p>\n
Dating doesn’t require flirting. Dating is a time to get to know another person better so you can make an informed decision about whether to marry.<\/p>\n
I’m glad you value your relationship with God and have not gotten involved in fornication. I understand that controlling your sexual urges is difficult, but you have made it so far and can continue.<\/p>\n
When Paul wrote, “But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion<\/em>” (I Corinthians 7:8), he was talking about a man and woman who were struggling with their desires so that they would not commit fornication.\u00a0Paul was saying it was better to marry than to sin because of their sexual desire for each other.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I am 43 male Christian. I have never been married, and I am a virgin. I never chose to be single or celibate. I could never gain the interest of the opposite sex, so I have been forced to be celibate. Does being forced to be celibate and not being able to get a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,1108],"class_list":["post-85959","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-single"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":62362,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-there-an-explanation-for-a-lack-of-sexual-desire-in-the-bible\/","url_meta":{"origin":85959,"position":0},"title":"Is there an explanation for a lack of sexual desire in the Bible?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 28, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good evening, I was reading many of your answers about homosexuality and was wondering if there was any explanation for a lack of sexual attraction in the Bible. This is related to homosexuals having a lack of interest in the opposite gender and people having no attraction to anyone\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":46400,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-voluntary-celibacy-desired-by-christ\/","url_meta":{"origin":85959,"position":1},"title":"Is voluntary celibacy desired by Christ?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 31, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I perused your site and was looking at your posts about celibacy with which I agree that forced celibacy should not be imposed. Yet, the vow of chastity is a vow that is a gift that is to be honored and revered among persons undertaking this path in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2640,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-divorce-only-acknowledged-when-it-is-done-for-fornication\/","url_meta":{"origin":85959,"position":2},"title":"Is divorce only acknowledged when it is done for fornication?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 12, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What do you think about this situation: Bob divorces Mary not for fornication (she gets fat, or ugly, or burns the cornbread). Bob and Mary have three children and she has always been a housewife with limited education. She begs Bob not to leave her, He leaves her and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":69508,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-morality-change-with-age\/","url_meta":{"origin":85959,"position":3},"title":"Does morality change with age?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 29, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I spent a lot of time looking at your answers to several sexual questions. I am fairly clear ( I think ) that intercourse is a grave sin outside of marriage. Anything that leads there is wrong. A few months ago, I reconnected with a childhood friend. I believe\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":25121,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-i-corinthians-79-a-command-or-a-recommendation\/","url_meta":{"origin":85959,"position":4},"title":"Is I Corinthians 7:9 a command or a recommendation?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 23, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I've always wondered about I Corinthians 7:9. \u00a0I'm unsure of how to take it: as a command or a recommendation? I read that \"let them marry\" is a better translation than \"they should marry,\" but I'm not sure how strongly it's intended to come across, or even the difference\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":13239,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-reconcile-with-my-ex-husband-who-is-addicted-to-marijuana\/","url_meta":{"origin":85959,"position":5},"title":"Should I reconcile with my ex-husband who is addicted to marijuana?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 8, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Should I reconcile with my ex-husband although he has issues with smoking pot? I divorced him over three years ago and I discovered biblically I was wrong because it was not for adultery. He since then continues to smoke but seems to have changed in other areas. I despise\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85959","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=85959"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85959\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=85959"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=85959"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=85959"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}