by Wilson Adams<\/p>\n
“How do I make someone change?”<\/p>\n
You won’t like the answer. Are you ready? You can’t. People change only when they’re ready to. All the pushing, prodding, needling, and nagging will not bring change. Why? It’s a fundamental law of human nature-you push, and they push back. All this pushing creates gridlock that escalates the situation. Hello, standoff.<\/p>\n
It doesn’t matter if you’re right. You pressure them, and they dig in their heels. Outside pressure = inside resistance.<\/p>\n
You want them to change, get healthier, move out, go to therapy, be more financially responsible, get a better job, become followers of Jesus, etc. You want what’s best for them because you love them, but pushing and prodding only creates more frustration and relationship tension.<\/p>\n
Here’s the deal: motivation for change must come from within. Also known as the prodigal son. “But when he came to himself<\/em>…” (Luke 15:17). There it is.<\/p>\n Can you set a good example? Yes. Can you love them with kindness? Yes. Can you lift them up before the Throne and pray their hearts become open to change? Yes. (By the way, don’t tell them -that only increases resistance). While you can’t pressure them to change, you can influence them.<\/p>\n Unlock the power of influence. And then… “wait for the Lord<\/em>” (Psalms 27:14). God does amazing things, but sometimes we must get out of the way.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" by Wilson Adams “How do I make someone change?” You won’t like the answer. Are you ready? You can’t. People change only when they’re ready to. All the pushing, prodding, needling, and nagging will not bring change. Why? It’s a fundamental law of human nature-you push, and they push back. All this pushing creates gridlock…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[674],"class_list":["post-85519","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-article","tag-change"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":36177,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-deal-with-the-fear-that-my-dad-may-never-change\/","url_meta":{"origin":85519,"position":0},"title":"How do I deal with the fear that my dad may never change?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 26, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello Bro. Hamilton, I just need some clarification about a situation. My parents are not members of the church of Christ, but I am. We went off and on when I was growing up but stopped because my dad didn't take us anymore. However, we went back, and I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42990,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-tell-my-parents-they-are-pushing-me-too-hard\/","url_meta":{"origin":85519,"position":1},"title":"How do I tell my parents they are pushing me too hard?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 18, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I'm in the 10th grade. I'm a Christian. I was a bit bad in my studies, but I got my motivation and I'm starting to study a bit. However, my parents are pushing me a lot, and I'm starting to lose my motivation. But they still help me\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23304,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-make-my-relationship-more-god-centered\/","url_meta":{"origin":85519,"position":2},"title":"How do I make my relationship more God-centered?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 9, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I know romantic relationships should be God-centered, but I'm having trouble doing this with my boyfriend. He's a Christian, but not too strong of a Christian. I tried to put God into our relationship by suggesting reading a Bible chapter together each day. We read only two times. I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":90687,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/removing-ancient-landmarks\/","url_meta":{"origin":85519,"position":3},"title":"Removing Ancient Landmarks","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 23, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by Terry Wane Benton \"Do not remove the ancient landmark which your fathers have set\" (Proverbs 22:28 NKJV). \"Bring in no new dogmas, nor rites, nor ceremonies, into religion, or the worship of God, that are not clearly laid down in the sacred writings. 'Stand in the way; and see,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/landmark-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":41114,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-get-my-boyfriend-to-be-a-better-christian\/","url_meta":{"origin":85519,"position":4},"title":"How do I get my boyfriend to be a better Christian?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 30, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years; and, yup, you guessed it, we fell into sexual sin within a year into our relationship. I want to stop. I know I can make it happen with the help of Christ. How else can I make this possible?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":25663,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-boyfriend-says-he-regrets-his-past-fornications-but-he-is-pushing-to-have-sex-with-me-how-do-i-get-him-to-change\/","url_meta":{"origin":85519,"position":5},"title":"My boyfriend says he regrets his past fornications, but he is pushing to have sex with me. How do I get him to change?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 19, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am a 22-year old girl who is just in love with a 26-year-old boy. We belong to different casts but the same religion. We share a good emotional connection, and as a person, I know he is a good one. 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