Hello sir,<\/p>\n
I have a question that I’m always confused by, and I would greatly appreciate your answer.<\/p>\n
I have sinned many times, years ago, against my husband, parents, family members, my friends, etc. There are many things I’ve done that I’m deeply ashamed and remorseful about. I lived a deceitful lifestyle, and I constantly lied about things that weren’t even important. I lied usually to protect my image and myself and to not suffer consequences. I lied to people that I love dearly now. I am a completely different person now. I look back and see how wrong it all was. It breaks my heart to know these things that I’ve done. I have, of course, taken my sins to God in confession in prayer and have begged for His forgiveness. To the best of my ability, I have confessed my wrongdoings to those who knew and were affected by my sins to reconcile without adding further hurt or damage.<\/p>\n
However, there are\u00a0many\u00a0<\/strong>things I’ve said and done that they have no idea about, and they were not hurt by my actions or words directly and didn’t harbor any bitterness toward me. I examine my life, and I am at peace with everyone; however, I still remember what a no-good person I was years ago, and I feel like I’m living deceitfully if I don’t confess my sins to people I’ve hurt who don’t know what I did.<\/p>\n All of this to say, is it absolutely necessary for us to confess our sins to others, if they have no idea about them and don’t bring them up? A verse talks about how, before worshiping God, we must reconcile with our brother first. I struggle with OCD sometimes, and I become confused if I need to do more.<\/p>\n Or is forgiveness from God when we confess our sins to Him and strive to live a life in obedience to Him?<\/p>\n I struggle with my past a lot; as previously mentioned, I am so deeply ashamed of the things I did and said when I was a very young adult, and I feel deep remorse, shame, and guilt over my past wrongs. I carry around a lot of guilt. Guilt isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and I understand that I just feel overwhelmed at times, and I just want to do the right things in the eyes of the Lord.<\/p>\n I don’t want to sin by not confessing to others about things I’ve slanderously said, but I also don’t want to cause harm to them about sins that were done so long ago, and while it could have affected them, it didn’t. And as far as I know, they don’t harbor any hard feelings toward me. Confession and forgiveness are difficult for me to understand because I want to go to heaven. I want to do what is right in obedience to the Lord, but I also am torn because I don’t want to hurt others.<\/p>\n Thank you, and God bless.<\/p>\n\t Like many who suffer from OCD, you are striving for absolute perfection. You want no risks, so you think that only absolute perfection will get you into heaven. And yet, the Bible is clear that none of us are perfect (I John 1:8-10). We all struggle with sin and depend on God’s grace to reach heaven.<\/p>\n “Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering<\/em>” (Matthew 5:23-24).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Notice there are two requirements: 1) Someone is holding a grudge against you, and 2) you recall the problem. You mention that you have already apologized to people you recall hurting with your lies. You fear that you may have forgotten someone. But what Jesus said is if you later recall something you need to apologize for, then take care of it. The other requirement is that the person is holding a grudge against you. If someone brings up a sin you committed in the past, then apologize and explain how you have changed. If you don’t know of anyone angry with you because of your past sins, then there is nothing for you to do at the moment.<\/p>\n Our forgiveness by God is dependent on His grace. Christians are told to repent of their sins (II Corinthians 7:9-11) and to confess to God their faults (I John 1:9). Christians are to confess their sins to fellow Christians to ask for their help and prayers (James 5:16). However, there is no passage saying you have to track down every person you ever sinned against and ask that person for forgiveness.<\/p>\n “More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead<\/strong>, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus<\/em>” (Philippians 3:8-14 NAS95).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\t Thank you for your quick response. I will re-read this email many times to take it all in, but you are correct: I do struggle with OCD. I am truly so sorry for everything I’ve done, and I want everyone to know, but I realize that sometimes it’s best not to dig up stuff from the past.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Hello sir, I have a question that I’m always confused by, and I would greatly appreciate your answer. I have sinned many times, years ago, against my husband, parents, family members, my friends, etc. There are many things I’ve done that I’m deeply ashamed and remorseful about. I lived a deceitful lifestyle, and I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[51,392,50],"class_list":["post-84045","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-confession","tag-lying","tag-repentance"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":40297,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-committed-adultery-with-a-married-man-now-i-feel-guilty-about-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":84045,"position":0},"title":"I committed adultery with a married man, now I feel guilty about it","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: A couple of years ago I had sex with a married man. It lasted about two years and it was revealed to his wife that we were having a sexual affair. I've lied to her about what went on between us. I'm very ashamed and disgusted by what I've\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":48391,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-we-have-lied-about-my-daughters-depression\/","url_meta":{"origin":84045,"position":1},"title":"Should we have lied about my daughter’s depression?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 18, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Is it ever OK to lie? My daughter was disqualified from entering a military group at her college\u00a0due to behavioral health. She spent days there due to depression.\u00a0 We filled out the medical forms and answered questions honestly for her college. Now my family is\u00a0upset because they\u00a0said she needed\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":67739,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-if-a-person-lied-about-his-past-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":84045,"position":2},"title":"What if a person lied about his past marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 21, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Greetings, I have enjoyed reading your studies and answers for many years. I have two questions if you could answer them please. So far I have only been able to find an answer in necessary inference. If a Christian in good standing unknowingly marries a person who lied about\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":54342,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-you-know-if-the-person-to-whom-you-lied-knows-that-you-lied-to-her\/","url_meta":{"origin":84045,"position":3},"title":"How can you know if the person to whom you lied knows that you lied to her?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 29, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: How can you know if the person to whom you lied knows that you lied to her? Answer: You are asking the wrong question. You are worried about whether you were caught in a lie. What you really should be concerned about is that liars end up in Hell.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41992,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-admit-i-lied-about-seeing-another-guy-while-with-my-boyfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":84045,"position":4},"title":"Should I admit I lied about seeing another guy while with my boyfriend?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 27, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was only dating the guy I am engaged to now and had developed feelings for another guy I met in college.\u00a0 I could never pinpoint the reason why we met,\u00a0 but he liked me too, even though I was (and still am) madly in love with my boyfriend.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":35831,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/when-a-person-doesnt-know-the-wrong-you-did-is-confession-required\/","url_meta":{"origin":84045,"position":5},"title":"When a person doesn’t know the wrong you did, is confession required?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 14, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have committed adultery many times during the past 30 years of my marriage and in many instances lied to cover up my absence. 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Response:<\/h2>\n