Dear Minister,<\/p>\n
I have to wait four or five years before I can marry because of a strict financial government program to help me get out of debt.\u00a0I have been engaged for a year now, and I have had intercourse since the day my fiance and I met. We are both Christians, but our intercourse didn’t sit well with me, so I rededicated my life to Jesus. But now my fiancee most likely wants to break up because of my decision to stop the sex.<\/p>\n
I don’t know what to do! Should I just let him go if he wants to? I really don’t want to go back to fornicating again, even though I have to wait for so long to marry.<\/p>\n
Sometimes I think about how Jacob waited for 14 years to marry Rebecca, so I think it is possible for a man (if he truly loves a woman) to wait for a long time if he is willing.<\/p>\n
I hope your answer will help!<\/p>\n\t
God’s way is always right, so we start with the basics. Having sex without being married is wrong (Hebrews 13:4), so therefore that is not an option for Christians. The recommendation by Paul is, “But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion<\/em>” (I Corinthians 7:9). Therefore, your options are:<\/p>\n Your fiance has already indicated that option 2 is not viable for him. I know it sounds romantic, but the story of Jacob waiting seven years (not fourteen) to marry Rachel stands out because it is unusual. Most men don’t have Jacob’s character and most women are not like Rachel. Nor did they start out having sex and then try to stop for seven years.<\/p>\n Option 3 is something that you don’t want, so we are left with figuring out a way that you can get married.<\/p>\n I don’t know the laws in your country, but I did find out that there are two types of marriages: one where property and debts are shared and another where they shared on a limited basis. Most likely you can get married, it just means that it will be harder to get rid of your debt. But then it might become easier because you will have two people working toward the goal of getting out of debt. This is something you need to discuss with your fiance and then check what options you have to get married in the near future.<\/p>\n\t Dear Mr. Hamilton,<\/p>\n Thank You Very Much!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Dear Minister, I have to wait four or five years before I can marry because of a strict financial government program to help me get out of debt.\u00a0I have been engaged for a year now, and I have had intercourse since the day my fiance and I met. We are both Christians, but our…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[257,310,64],"class_list":["post-8339","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-finances","tag-government","tag-marriage"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":40730,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-i-wait-three-years-to-get-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":8339,"position":0},"title":"How can I wait three years to get married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 20, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been dating my boyfriend for two and a half years now. We are both Christians and both want and work toward a marriage. We believe sex belongs in a marriage and want to keep it like this until we marry. I've come to a point where I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34195,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-proposed-to-marry-my-girlfriend-in-two-years-but-she-wants-to-wait-four-years-i-dont-know-if-i-want-to-wait-that-long\/","url_meta":{"origin":8339,"position":1},"title":"I proposed to marry my girlfriend in two years, but she wants to wait four years. I don’t know if I want to wait that long","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 23, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi. I'm a male in my mid-twenties who has been dating a woman in her early twenties for over two years. I completed my degree last year, but she is still in school. She will complete her degree in four more years. I love her very much and proposed\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2857,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-if-a-man-feels-he-cannot-wait-to-have-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":8339,"position":2},"title":"What if a man feels he cannot wait to have sex?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 9, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: What if a man cannot wait? What if a man really wants to have sex with a girl? What should the man do? Answer: \"Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37910,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-dont-know-if-i-should-marry-the-man-ive-been-living-with-for-the-last-six-years\/","url_meta":{"origin":8339,"position":3},"title":"I don’t know if I should marry the man I’ve been living with for the last six years","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 20, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm a divorced woman in my forties. I'm currently living with a man in his thirties whom I've been in a relationship with for six years. Of those six years, I was still married up until one year ago. During the entire time we were dating he asked me\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43965,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-wait-for-this-man-to-marry-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":8339,"position":4},"title":"Should I wait for this man to marry me?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 13, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I read at your site the many questions and the answers you gave were based on the Bible which was beautiful to see. I wanted to tell you something. Over fifteen years ago, I made a choice not to have sex with a man until I get married.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":528,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/waiting-for-the-proper-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":8339,"position":5},"title":"Waiting for the Proper Time","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 8, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Few youngsters enjoy being told they must wait. When a thought enters their heads, they want to act on it right now. If they desire something, it must be in their possession right now. 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Response:<\/h2>\n