What you are describing is jealousy, which means wanting to possess something or someone exclusively. The word can be used in a good sense when what is wanted really does belong to someone. For example, a husband would be properly jealous if someone tried to steal away the affection of his wife. “Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is as strong as death, jealousy as cruel as the grave; its flames are flames of fire, a most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, nor can the floods drown it. If a man would give for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised<\/em>” (Song of Solomon 8:6-7). Sinful jealousy is when a husband wants to possess all of his wife’s attention, such as forbidding her to see or talk to anyone else.<\/p>\n Paul stated, “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous<\/em>” (I Corinthians 13:4). One of the characteristics of true love is the confidence one has in the one we love. When I love my wife, I don’t have to worry about someone stealing away her affection for me because I know that it is there. If someone tried to come between my wife and me, then I would step in to protect what is mine.<\/p>\n The core of your problem is that your husband has lost his confidence that he truly holds your affection. I don’t know if it existed before your break up, but it is obvious that it exists now. His lack of certainty is manifested in his jealousy toward your friend, but this is just a symptom and not the cause. The separation caused damage to your relationship. It will take time for the wound to repair.<\/p>\n I don’t suggest that you stop talking to your friend, but I do suggest that you take a closer look at your relationship with your husband. While you are back together, are there non-verbal clues that you are sending to your husband that don’t care for him as you once did? For example, have you ever walked into a room and noticed that two people are in love, even though you don’t know them and they are not next to each other? What is it that sends the message? “He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love<\/em>” (Song of Solomon 2:4). The young woman in this poem knew that her fiance was in love with her and that everyone else knew it as well. It could be the way he seeks out eye contact with her across the room. Or, the way he brightens when she looks his way. Or, the small considerations toward her need which tells everyone that she is important to him. While this is talking about the man toward the woman, it equally applies to a woman toward her man. Love is displaying in so many small but important ways. Do you have favorite names for each other? Do you mention small things from your past, indicating that those memories are cherished?<\/p>\n One of my wife’s favorite gifts from me is a small ornament — one of those crystal globes you can shake and see “snow” falling. It contains two bears cuddling. When you wind it up, it plays “You Are My Sunshine.” It wouldn’t seem much to most, but to my wife and me, it contains memories. We met in the winter. While we dated, we would tease that “You Are My Sunshine” was our<\/em> song (it was the “in” thing for couples to have a song). After we were married, my wife always tells me she likes to cuddle up with me (she’s cold natured). It is not the gift or the cost of the object. It is the memories that it invokes. The fact that I remember tells her more than words can that those memories and she are important to me.<\/p>\n There is a book that I would like to recommend. It is written from a woman’s point of view, so it should make a bigger impact than I on this subject. Try finding a copy of\u00a0The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands<\/em> by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. It won’t directly solve the problem, but it should give you ideas about how to strengthen your marriage. Before long, the side issues, such as your friendships, will fade away because it will no longer be important.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Is it right that my husband asks me not to be friends with one of my girlfriends just because he “believes” she doesn’t like him? I have told him many times she doesn’t even make comments about him. My husband and I have been separated and my friend was there for me. My husband…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[875,64,1513],"class_list":["post-7903","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-jealousy","tag-marriage","tag-relationships"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":47004,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-work-things-out-with-my-drug-addicted-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":7903,"position":0},"title":"Should I work things out with my drug-addicted husband?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 23, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My husband and I have been married for about five years. 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I was born and raised in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18133,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-has-become-distant-to-me-since-the-death-of-his-daughter-now-he-wants-out-of-our-marriage-what-should-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":7903,"position":2},"title":"My husband has become distant to me since the death of his daughter. Now he wants out of our marriage. What should I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 15, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My husband and I married seven years ago. A year after we were married, my husband lost his 21-year-old daughter in a car wreck.\u00a0 She left behind a daughter (our granddaughter) who was 18 months old and she lives with her father.\u00a0 I was also very close to his\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":28632,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-my-friend-leave-her-drug-abusing-husband\/","url_meta":{"origin":7903,"position":3},"title":"Should my friend leave her drug-abusing husband?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 29, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was Googling information on divorce for my best friend, and I came across this site with all of the women getting advice so I figured I would try to explain the situation as best as I can without leaving important information out. 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