I have a question that relates to a fellow co-worker. We once had a very nice relationship where we could talk about stuff, and recently it has changed for the worse. I have pondered why it has gone this way for a while and now we are at the point where we do not speak to each other, or if I speak, her response is subtle or forced. I wonder if I should confront her and see what is the problem, or should I just leave it alone? I am not a person who likes conflict or tension and feel if someone is not speaking to me then I should do the same. I realize that is not the attitude to take, but I am not sure what else I can do. It makes it even worse because she works close to me.<\/p>\n\t
If this disagreement is like most between men and women, then it is probably along the lines where she feels the problem is obvious and the reason you aren’t apologizing is because you’re trying to hurt her. Meanwhile, your only clue is that she is not speaking, so you don’t know how to fix something you can’t define.<\/p>\n
The best thing to do is simply and politely ask. “I know I’m a bit dense at times, but it has finally dawned on me that you’re not speaking to me. The problem is that I’m not clever enough to work out why. Is there something that I have done or not done that has offended you?” Try to word your question so that you are not, even indirectly, stating that she is the one with the problem. Then sit back and listen. She might continue to ignore you, she might verbally take your head off, but then she might tell you what is wrong.<\/p>\n
No matter how she responds, remind yourself that how she responded to a polite question is her choice. It was your choice to bring the matter to the forefront. If she lets you know loudly or quietly, at least you will have something to consider and work on. But either way, prepare yourself to not reply in anger. You wanted to know, and likely what you will learn isn’t going to be pleasant to hear. “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God<\/em>” (James 1:19-20).<\/p>\n If you get the silent treatment, then just shrug it off as something out of your control. You can’t fix everything. At least she knows you are interested and perhaps she’ll tell you later when she is ready to speak. She might simply be putting it off because she doesn’t like conflicts either and she is afraid to bring the matter up for fear that she or you might lose your temper.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I have a question that relates to a fellow co-worker. We once had a very nice relationship where we could talk about stuff, and recently it has changed for the worse. I have pondered why it has gone this way for a while and now we are at the point where we do not…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[1513],"class_list":["post-7043","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-relationships"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5048,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-continue-talking-to-a-co-worker-who-only-wants-to-talk-about-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":7043,"position":0},"title":"Should I continue talking to a co-worker who only wants to talk about sex?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 29, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: People\u00a0say I\u2019m crazy when I say to them that married men should not think about the opposite sex other than their wives.\u00a0As a single person, I can think of a person who is single like me, not in an unclean way of course, but a person who has husband\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5069,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-woman-speak-out-in-response-to-a-question-or-say-amen-during-the-worship\/","url_meta":{"origin":7043,"position":1},"title":"Can a woman speak out in response to a question or say “amen” during the worship?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 27, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Is it scriptural for a woman to speak out during a public worship service to answer a question asked by the preacher? 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I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":51297,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/ive-had-sex-twice-with-a-co-worker-how-do-i-stop-this\/","url_meta":{"origin":7043,"position":3},"title":"I’ve had sex twice with a co-worker. How do I stop this?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 5, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I am in deep need of your advice. I am in my early twenties. I've been seeing a lady in my department, and we've been having a secret affair both outside and sometimes at work when we are alone. Over these last few months we've had sex --\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":22023,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-kinds-of-speaking-out-in-assemblies-would-a-woman-not-be-permitted-to-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":7043,"position":4},"title":"What kinds of speaking out in assemblies would a woman not be permitted to do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 16, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I appreciate you\u00a0posting the Questions and Answers to Facebook. I think it is an excellent resource for evangelism and a great way to draw attention to it. I was reviewing the answer \"My congregation is becoming more unscriptural. Should I find another one?\" you posted on Facebook to this\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23116,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-can-be-done-about-women-who-speak-out-of-turn-in-bible-class\/","url_meta":{"origin":7043,"position":5},"title":"What can be done about women who speak out of turn in Bible class?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 28, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My wife and I have been to the congregation there in La Vista.\u00a0 We really enjoyed it and found it to be a true church.\u00a0 We have been having a problem locally with the verse in I Timothy 2 about the women being silent.\u00a0 I read your article on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7043","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7043"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7043\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7043"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7043"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7043"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}