{"id":70216,"date":"2024-10-08T15:15:18","date_gmt":"2024-10-08T20:15:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=70216"},"modified":"2025-04-04T09:48:26","modified_gmt":"2025-04-04T14:48:26","slug":"does-cohabitation-create-a-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-cohabitation-create-a-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Does cohabitation create a marriage?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

Does cohabitation with sex make a marriage?<\/p>\n

A lot of Christians think so. They say that when you go live with someone and have sex, that’s a marriage according to the Bible because, in the Old Testament, that’s how marriages were made.\u00a0They give the case of Isaac and Rebecca. They say the Bible doesn’t specify how marriage is celebrated, only that a man and a woman live together, have sexual relations, and claim they’re husband and wife.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

The Bible is clear that the covenant between a man and a woman forms marriage. “Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant<\/em>” (Malachi 2:14). A covenant is a solemn agreement between two parties. It is somewhat similar to our idea of a contract but carries a deeper meaning and weight than our modern-day contracts. (See the sermon outline “Covenants<\/a>” for more details.) One aspect of the marriage covenant is that God serves as a witness to the covenant.\u00a0Jesus alluded to this when he said, “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate<\/em>” (Matthew 19:6). Thus, it is the vows made by a man and woman that join them together into a new unit.\u00a0“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh<\/em>” (Genesis 2:24). Notice the steps:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. A man leaves his parents,<\/li>\n
  2. a man joins (marries) his wife, and<\/li>\n
  3. the two individuals become one.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    The last step includes the concept of the act of sex, but it is so much more than just sex. The two bond so tightly that they behave as one person, a person different from either of them individually but which doesn’t exist without them both.<\/p>\n

    But notice that the passage says, “and the two shall become one flesh<\/em>” and does not say they are one flesh. It is a process that begins after marriage and continues through marriage.<\/p>\n

    What you have are people who are making assumptions when something is not mentioned. “Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and he took Rebekah, and she became his wife<\/strong>, and he loved her; thus Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death<\/em>” (Genesis 24:67). This verse doesn’t say\u00a0how<\/em> she became his wife, only that she did. To assume that it was\u00a0only<\/em> by moving in with each other is not a necessary conclusion. Malachi 2:14 remains, telling us\u00a0how<\/em> marriages are made. See\u00a0Marriage Covenants<\/a> for more details.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Question: Does cohabitation with sex make a marriage? A lot of Christians think so. They say that when you go live with someone and have sex, that’s a marriage according to the Bible because, in the Old Testament, that’s how marriages were made.\u00a0They give the case of Isaac and Rebecca. They say the Bible doesn’t…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[1711,655,64],"class_list":["post-70216","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-cohabitation","tag-living-together","tag-marriage"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":17392,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-god-allow-common-law-marriages\/","url_meta":{"origin":70216,"position":0},"title":"Does God allow common-law marriages?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 26, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I am a newborn Christian, baptized into Christ two years ago. I would like to ask: because fornication is a big deal for God, at what point is it considered marriage in the Bible? Forgive me please if I'm wrong, but it seems the Bible does not talk\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41468,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-had-sex-before-with-a-different-woman-does-that-mean-im-committing-adultery-with-the-woman-i-am-with\/","url_meta":{"origin":70216,"position":1},"title":"I had sex before with a different woman. Does that mean I’m committing adultery with the woman I am with?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Please. Please, I have many things I have to ask. A woman took my virginity, but it was only for a night. I'm with a different woman now and have been with her for five years. Is that adultery? Answer: Fornication is when you have sex with someone you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2717,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-dont-need-a-piece-of-paper-to-say-im-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":70216,"position":2},"title":"I don’t need a piece of paper to say I’m married","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 29, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I could argue that God doesn't recognize a piece of paper saying if you're married. I believe in His eyes my girlfriend and I are married, and if we left each other we would commit the sin of divorce. If living in sin with my girlfriend is my worst\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8375,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-a-person-commits-fornication-while-engaged-does-that-affect-the-later-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":70216,"position":3},"title":"If a person commits fornication while engaged, does that affect the later marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 8, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My spouse was engaged to a woman for a month and a half. They were sexually active before and after they became engaged. They were not faithful to each other during the engagement and decided to break the engagement. He has since repented for his sin (been baptized, etc.)\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":32735,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/where-does-god-say-a-man-and-woman-have-to-be-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":70216,"position":4},"title":"Where does God say a man and woman have to be married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 2, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Where in the Bible does it say or indicate that a man and a woman have to be married?\u00a0 Adam and Eve coexisted there was no ceremony. Answer: One does not have to marry, but if one wants to have sex, then he must marry. \"But I say to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":53411,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-not-married-to-my-partner-after-living-with-her-for-seven-years\/","url_meta":{"origin":70216,"position":5},"title":"Am I not married to my partner after living with her for seven years?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 4, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I came across your website today and read one of your questions and answers topic and found it very interesting and comforting. I want to start by apologizing for the length of this question, but here goes: I have been studying the Bible for a long time and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70216","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=70216"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70216\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=70216"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=70216"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=70216"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}