by Terry Wane Benton<\/p>\n
Love is not a feeling that may come or go. You don’t fall in and out of it. That is more of infatuation and Eros than the valuable love (agape) that is what keeps couples working to forgive and affirm each other through thick and thin. This kind of love is deeper and principled. It values the heart and soul no matter if the externals in appearance change. Externals do change, but love sees with the heart into the heart. Couples with this kind of love grow deeper in time.<\/p>\n
Love seeks the good of the relationship not because there are no differences or annoyances but because the annoyances are not greater in importance than the person you are committed to. When love sees value despite real or imagined grievances, love seeks reconciliation, forgiveness, new starts, covering over the sins, and seeking to grow because of potential. You don’t love “if” they measure up, but because their value is not lost to you despite not measuring up. Couples with this kind of love grow deeper over the years because commitment is not lost in moments of disagreement, anger, foolish attitudes, and actions.<\/p>\n
The valued commitment keeps the couple reflecting on self-improvement, apology, and reconciliation. They are not just “lucky” to have a good marriage but stay committed to working at it, working through things together, tempering and purifying their quality of love. Staying accountable to God is a common principle that makes it hard to give up too easily.<\/p>\n
So, to all you young married couples, keep nurturing accountability to God and the valuable principle of agape<\/em> love. Never give up on each other too easily; your love will grow deeper and hold you together for years. It will be tested but grow deeper and more genuine as the years go by. Are you committed? Or is it too shallow?<\/p>\n What is the love that made Jesus endure the pain for you? Was it mere infatuation or committed love? Learn that kind of love, and you will have something exceptional!<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" by Terry Wane Benton Love is not a feeling that may come or go. You don’t fall in and out of it. That is more of infatuation and Eros than the valuable love (agape) that is what keeps couples working to forgive and affirm each other through thick and thin. This kind of love is…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[27],"tags":[1177,65],"class_list":["post-69863","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-article","tag-commitment","tag-love"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":65052,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/your-first-love\/","url_meta":{"origin":69863,"position":0},"title":"Your First Love","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 26, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"by Terry Wane Benton \"Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love\" (Revelation 2:4). The first love was the focused and enthusiastic love they had at the early stages of their conversion. As John in his epistle stated, \"We love Him because He first loved\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":57260,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-dont-love-her-anymore\/","url_meta":{"origin":69863,"position":1},"title":"I Don’t Love Her Anymore","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 23, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"by Greg Gwin A forty-year-old man, suffering through the classic \"mid-life crisis,\" sat down to talk to a preacher about his problems. He explained how his marriage of 20 years was no longer satisfying or fulfilling. Finally, he reached the 'bottom line.' \"I just don't love her anymore\", he said.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/12\/dejected.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":84074,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/romanticizing-love\/","url_meta":{"origin":69863,"position":2},"title":"Romanticizing Love","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 5, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by Terry Wane Benton Different things come to mind when we think of \"love.\" We often think of love as a feeling of infatuation, where we are walking with our heads in the clouds with a romantic feeling toward someone. But, while that may be pleasant, it is not the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9726,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-romantic-love-a-duty-or-an-emotional-thing\/","url_meta":{"origin":69863,"position":3},"title":"Is romantic love a duty or an emotional thing?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 12, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I would like to ask if the romantic kind of love is an emotional thing or a duty. Thank you. Answer: It is not an either on or the other, it is both a duty and emotional. Romantic love is something married couples are bound by duty to give\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":50229,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-told-my-wife-i-forgave-her-for-her-cheating-but-i-really-havent\/","url_meta":{"origin":69863,"position":4},"title":"I told my wife I forgave her for her cheating, but I really haven’t","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 25, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello Minister, I write this with the hope that you'll be able to help me to unshackle this chain that I've been hauling for many years. I'm a very angry man, and I find it difficult to forgive and let it go. I used to be a very kind\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":88756,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/love-service-and-obedience\/","url_meta":{"origin":69863,"position":5},"title":"Love, Service, and Obedience","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 18, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by Doy Moyer We serve what we love, and we obey what we serve. What does that mean? It is possible to be coerced into obedience, but this is not love. However, when we love something or someone, we serve, and in serving, we obey. I believe the word \"obey\"\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/69863","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=69863"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/69863\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=69863"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=69863"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=69863"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}