{"id":69122,"date":"2024-07-31T12:46:41","date_gmt":"2024-07-31T17:46:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=69122"},"modified":"2024-08-20T10:54:05","modified_gmt":"2024-08-20T15:54:05","slug":"how-do-i-get-over-this-woman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-get-over-this-woman\/","title":{"rendered":"How do I get over this woman?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

I need some guidance. I was going to church and celebrating recovery, also serving at church, but I never felt connected to people or God. I felt like a loner like every other time I attempted to go to church.<\/p>\n

I started talking to this girl, my mom’s co-worker, whom I’ve always thought was pretty. Anyway, I knew she wasn’t with her ex-husband anymore. I started talking to her. From the very first conversation, she insinuated sex. But I overlooked it because I wanted someone so bad. She told me she also had a rebound relationship after her ex left her. That didn’t work out. When we started dating, she admitted three weeks into our talking that she didn’t end things. The guy was her kids’ soccer coach. The guy started creating drama. I expressed discomfort over and over. Nothing changed, and she told me to get over it. She hid me from her most important people. Also, I have to sneak around from her ex and kids. He still tries to get her back and sends gifts through the kids.<\/p>\n

I’m not sure what to do or how to let go.<\/p>\n

People tell me God has better and that it’s not healthy for me, but it’s hard to accept it. She even gave me an STD and denied it could be her.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

I can point out what you need to do, but I’m left with the impression that you are focused on yourself. You aren’t likely to enjoy what I must say.<\/p>\n

I don’t know what kind of church you are trying to join, but a church is a place where people dedicated to God gather to encourage each other and worship together. It sounds like you attend, but you don’t participate. If you hold people off at arm’s length because you don’t trust them, people will respect your unspoken request for privacy. You can’t make friends without being friendly. “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother<\/em>” (Proverbs 18:24).<\/p>\n

You met a woman whom you quickly knew wanted to violate God’s laws regarding sex outside of marriage (I Corinthians 6:9-10). She was pretty, and you were more interested in your desires than in following God. I’m guessing that you want the attention she gives you most. Sex is the price that you happily pay for it. You also soon found out that she was sleeping with other men, and you got an STD from her. Yet, none of this deters you. She knows she is sinning because she insists on hiding her relationship with you.<\/p>\n

The answer is to dump this sinful woman and give up your sins. It is the only way you’ll find happiness and heaven.<\/p>\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

Thank you for your response.<\/p>\n

Yes, I have been in this cycle of getting into bad relationships. So I’m not with this woman anymore. You are right; it didn’t deter me. I had put my whole identity in this person. But I’m ready to give myself to God fully. It hasn’t been easy letting go. It was very painful. I have been reaching out for help at my church. I’m joining men’s groups. If you have any advice on cultivating a genuine relationship with Jesus, I would truly appreciate it.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

Paul described his relationship with Christ in this manner, “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me<\/em>” (Galatians 2:20). God wants our whole being. “And He said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment<\/em>” (Matthew 22:37-38).<\/p>\n

To put the Lord first, we have to know what Christ requires. This means I have to learn the Bible through reading and studying. “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ<\/em>” (Romans 10:17). What I learn, I must apply to my life. After all, how can I truly claim that Jesus is the Lord if I ignore him? “Why do you call Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; and the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great<\/em>” (Luke 6:46-49).<\/p>\n

In this way, you have started communicating with the Lord. You are listening to what he says. And now you to talk to him about what is own your mind. That is what prayer is about. See\u00a0Communication Between God and Man<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: I need some guidance. I was going to church and celebrating recovery, also serving at church, but I never felt connected to people or God. I felt like a loner like every other time I attempted to go to church. I started talking to this girl, my mom’s co-worker, whom I’ve always thought was…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[66],"class_list":["post-69122","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-adultery"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":43220,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-long-time-girlfriend-told-me-she-wont-be-marrying-me-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":69122,"position":0},"title":"My long-time girlfriend told me she won’t be marrying me. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 13, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello Sir, I am 23. I met a girl about a year before we entered college. She was a believer, which was what attracted me to talk with her, as my dad was ungodly and my mom tried hard to bring me to Christ. Thus, I was never exposed\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41998,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-my-friend-marry-a-girl-who-flirts-with-other-men\/","url_meta":{"origin":69122,"position":1},"title":"Should my friend marry a girl who flirts with other men?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 27, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Minister, I really appreciate your website and the time you put in to answer all these questions. I have a friend who shared this dilemma with me. I wanted to get your opinion about it. My friend is in a long-distance relationship with this girl who is a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33382,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/why-did-she-say-she-forgave-me-if-she-stopped-talking-to-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":69122,"position":2},"title":"Why did she say she forgave me if she stopped talking to me?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 24, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I met a girl online about a year ago. She lives in a different state where she was attending a Bible college. We talked all the time and became good friends. I became interested in her and tried to pursue her, but she insisted on staying friends because of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41395,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-wife-told-me-she-had-sex-before-we-were-married-and-i-cant-let-it-go\/","url_meta":{"origin":69122,"position":3},"title":"My wife told me she had sex before we were married, and I can’t let it go","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 27, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: We have been married for nearly 40 years. About two years ago, in an argument over needing to enjoy each other in bed while we can because someday we want to be able to, somehow things I didn't know came out. 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A few months\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":21383,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-wife-has-been-committing-adultery-with-her-step-brother-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":69122,"position":5},"title":"My wife has been committing adultery with her step-brother. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 24, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Should I stay married and does my wife need to tell the truth? I have been married for over 15 years. I caught my wife cheating on me 10 years ago with her step-brother. She said all they did was kiss, but I knew it was not true. 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