{"id":68268,"date":"2024-06-06T15:32:21","date_gmt":"2024-06-06T20:32:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=68268"},"modified":"2025-04-04T09:49:04","modified_gmt":"2025-04-04T14:49:04","slug":"is-my-boyfriend-using-me-because-he-doesnt-want-to-get-married","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-my-boyfriend-using-me-because-he-doesnt-want-to-get-married\/","title":{"rendered":"Is my boyfriend using me because he doesn&#8217;t want to get married?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>Good Evening!<\/p>\n<p>My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for four years now. I have visited this other church, and they told me I should leave my fianc\u00e9 because he doesn&#8217;t want to marry and is just using me. I love him so much, and he has told me so many times. Now I am so confused, and I thought he was my soulmate. We had challenges, but we held on.<\/p>\n<p>My question is: can&#8217;t I pray that my relationship can be peaceful and loving with faith? I can&#8217;t let go of him because my heart only wants him.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>What I see is a young woman who only sees what she wants to see. She puts on an act of religious devotion while living in rebellion against the Lord. She calls a man who has no intention of getting married to her &#8220;fiance,&#8221; which implies a non-existent engagement to be married. You are committing fornication, so read I Corinthians 6:9-10 and Galatians 5:19-21 and tell me how you conclude that your life of sin is acceptable to the Lord.<\/p>\n<p>Paul said, &#8220;<em>But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion<\/em>&#8221; (I Corinthians 7:9). Why do you conclude that this command doesn&#8217;t apply to you?<\/p>\n<p>The only reasonable conclusion is that he is using you to provide wifely services without committing himself. He wants to be able to walk away from the relationship at any time without any obligations.<\/p>\n<p>Sin is not an option, so either get married or live apart and no longer have sex with this man.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: Good Evening! My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for four years now. I have visited this other church, and they told me I should leave my fianc\u00e9 because he doesn&#8217;t want to marry and is just using me. I love him so much, and he has told me so many times.&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[1711,1572,418,655],"class_list":["post-68268","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-cohabitation","tag-fornication","tag-hypocrites","tag-living-together"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":16671,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-boyfriend-doesnt-want-to-get-married-yet-because-hell-be-dropped-from-his-dads-insurance-what-should-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":68268,"position":0},"title":"My boyfriend doesn&#8217;t want to get married yet because he&#8217;ll be dropped from his dad&#8217;s insurance. What should I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 22, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Ok, my fiance and I have been living together for almost six months now. We are not married. For a while I let myself get away from God and I didn't care if we were living together unmarried. I'm trying to get closer to God and receive forgiveness for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39668,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/after-finding-out-a-man-acted-lewdly-toward-me-my-boyfriend-wants-to-leave-me-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":68268,"position":1},"title":"After finding out a man acted lewdly toward me, my boyfriend wants to leave me. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 11, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Does it count as fornication if a man coerces you into touching his penis? I've recently repented of my sins and confessed to the appropriate people. But I wanted to know because when my boyfriend and I first got an apartment together, we had to have roommates -- another\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":57694,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-marry-my-fiance-who-is-not-a-practicing-christian\/","url_meta":{"origin":68268,"position":2},"title":"Should I marry my fiance, who is not a practicing Christian?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 6, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Should I marry my fianc\u00e9? My fianc\u00e9 and I have been dating for 7 years. I was 17 when I met him and living a worldly life (partying, drinking, smoking, cursing) I entered my relationship with my current fianc\u00e9 because he answered this question: \"Are you Christian?\" and his\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3066,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/are-all-marriages-spiritually-binding\/","url_meta":{"origin":68268,"position":3},"title":"Are all marriages spiritually binding?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 11, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I attend a church of Christ, and my boyfriend of several years was baptized about a few years ago. We broke up last year for several months due to some differences but have since decided to be back together. My boyfriend is in the military and during the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":48770,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-boyfriend-wants-to-have-another-child-but-im-a-christian-now\/","url_meta":{"origin":68268,"position":4},"title":"My boyfriend wants to have another child, but I&#8217;m a Christian now","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 30, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am a born-again Christian for just over five years. Since then I haven't been involved in any sexual relationship, but before I became born again, I was involved with someone with whom I have a child. He moved to another country a few years ago. Now the thing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17591,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/our-preacher-wants-us-to-separate-before-marrying-us-how-will-this-make-any-difference\/","url_meta":{"origin":68268,"position":5},"title":"Our preacher wants us to separate before marrying us. How will this make any difference?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 26, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Today I went to meet with my preacher to talk about him marrying my fiance and me. After talking he said that he would do it as long as, starting today, we couldn't sleep in the same house together. The wedding is scheduled for about three weeks away. I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68268","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=68268"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68268\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=68268"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=68268"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=68268"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}