Hello Brother,<\/p>\n
I hope this message finds you in good health and spirits.<\/p>\n
My wife has decided that she wants to separate and sell our home. She has also discussed divorce, saying that she’s unhappy.<\/p>\n
First off, I acknowledge that while by worldly standards I was a good husband, by Christian standards, I failed miserably. I didn’t take seriously the fact that I was making a lifelong commitment to not only her but also God. I wasn’t the spiritual leader that I should have been, so she would constantly see her husband serving God and practicing righteousness. I didn’t exhibit the sacrificial love that Christ required. I spent a lot of time defending myself from what I believed to be false allegations about humbling myself and responding with love. It’s not all my fault, but I know I had many spiritual shortcomings, so my situation is likely due to God letting the natural consequences of my sins take place.<\/p>\n
I’m just not sure how to proceed without sinning any more than I already have. She wants to sell the house, but we are in a community property state, so I would have to sign off on it as well. If I refused to agree to the sale, then she would probably file for divorce, and the court would make the decision. My state is a no-fault state, so it would be granted. I’m also the primary caretaker of our son, so I’m not sure if she does file, would I be sinning by participating in the process to at least fight for as much custody as I can? Would I be sinning if I signed off on the house sale? I’m so confused about what to do next, and to be honest, I am dealing mentally with the sobering fact that I may be resigned to a single life forever, but again, it’s my fault. I want to start making things right, rededicate myself, and get back right with the Lord. I don’t want to make the wrong decisions.<\/p>\n\t
Not knowing either you or your wife, I can’t comment on why your wife wants to leave your marriage or who is at fault. I can state that divorcing simply because a person decides she is unhappy will not fix her problems. Such a divorce does not allow either the husband or wife to marry again (I Corinthians 7:10-11).<\/p>\n
Even though God hates divorce because sin is involved (Malachi 2:16) and it often promotes additional sins, it does not mean you must ignore what is going on. Yes, you should be trying to keep access to your son. He will need a father in his life in the years to come. Whether you sell the home is up to you. I don’t know if you will have to buy out her portion or what will be required.<\/p>\n
While you can’t stop your wife from making a poor choice, you can do what you can to help your wife see that she is leaving a good man.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: Hello Brother, I hope this message finds you in good health and spirits. My wife has decided that she wants to separate and sell our home. She has also discussed divorce, saying that she’s unhappy. First off, I acknowledge that while by worldly standards I was a good husband, by Christian standards, I failed…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[167],"class_list":["post-66794","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-divorce"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5441,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-deal-with-a-husband-who-wants-a-divorce-just-to-be-alone\/","url_meta":{"origin":66794,"position":0},"title":"How do I deal with a husband who wants a divorce just to be alone?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 8, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a question. I have been with my husband for many years. We both believe in God, but he has not been wanting to pray with me lately. He also has been speaking about divorce. I don't want one. I asked him why does he want a divorce\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":40892,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-sinning-by-not-contesting-my-wifes-desire-for-a-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":66794,"position":1},"title":"Am I sinning by not contesting my wife’s desire for a divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 11, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good day, My wife and I are married for over ten years and have beautiful kids together. We are both reborn Christians. She filed for divorce recently due to my abusive and aggressive behavior when we disagree sometimes. I agree that I said things to her and my kids\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9600,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-man-divorce-his-wife-for-not-having-sex-with-him\/","url_meta":{"origin":66794,"position":2},"title":"Can a man divorce his wife for not having sex with him?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 28, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: If a woman denies sex to her husband, is this unlawful sex and, therefore, fornication? If a twenty-year-old wife refuses to have sex with her twenty-one-year-old husband, does he have any grounds to divorce? Answer: As stated in\u00a0a prior answer, when a person wants to do something, such as\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":31571,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-husband-divorce-his-wife-ten-years-after-forgiving-her-of-an-affair\/","url_meta":{"origin":66794,"position":3},"title":"Can a husband divorce his wife ten years after forgiving her of an affair?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 2, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I want to help my sister in Christ. Situation:\u00a0 A woman cheats on her husband.\u00a0 Husband says he forgives her and stays with her for 10 years after the adultery.\u00a0 Over the 10 years, the husband never really gets over the infidelity. He eventually files for divorce and divorces\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":25370,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-every-divorce-that-is-not-for-fornication-a-sin\/","url_meta":{"origin":66794,"position":4},"title":"Is every divorce that is not for fornication a sin?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 23, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: \"How it is possible for a requirement that if a woman divorces her husband, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband (a command by the Lord according to Paul) if the only allowed cause for divorce is fornication which gives by implication the non-fornicator the right\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":28227,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-have-to-divorce-my-husband-in-order-to-be-baptized\/","url_meta":{"origin":66794,"position":5},"title":"Do I have to divorce my husband in order to be baptized?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 28, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was married to a man who would not make love, have sex, or be intimate\u00a0with me. He said he preferred to masturbate and fantasize about my sister, neighbors, and the neighbor's mother. This greatly distressed me. He was also abusive, holding a gun up to my head threatening\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66794","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=66794"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66794\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=66794"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=66794"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=66794"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}