Good morning brother,<\/p>\n
In Matthew 19:9, the Scripture teaches that a person can divorce another if the other person has committed adultery. My question is: Could the person trying to divorce the other not be able to go through with a divorce if they aren’t innocent? For example, me and my wife are going through hard times in our marriage, and during those times, I’m not giving her much attention so she has an affair. Or in light of I Corinthians 7:5, if I was to deprive her of sex and she was to have an affair. I’m trying to understand the idea of the innocent party. Could a person’s actions cause them not to be able to divorce their spouse? I struggle to answer this question because within a marriage sex is given exclusively to a husband and wife. Not only that, God is also involved in this marriage. So regardless of what your spouse may do or say, my main commitment is to God.<\/p>\n\t
Where you are having difficulty is with the phrase “innocent party.” Let’s first note that the phrase does not appear in the Bible. People use the phrase because we are talking about two people, one who had committed fornication and the other who had not committed fornication. This gets to be wordy so people resort to a shorthand: “The guilty party” and “the innocent party.” “Guilty” in such a context doesn’t mean a person has committed every possible crime. The only sin under consideration in Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9 is fornication. In the same way, “innocent” in the context of divorce is understood to refer to being not guilty of fornication. It doesn’t mean the person is innocent of contributing to the problem.<\/p>\n
You are correct in observing that in many instances, the person who wasn’t involved in fornication was complicit in disrupting the marriage. However, one person’s sins do not excuse another person’s sins. It does not mean the person who wasn’t involved in fornication is sinless. The person may face the wrath of God because he failed to do his part in maintaining his marriage and living up to the terms of his covenant. However, the law still allows him to divorce his spouse because of the spouse’s fornication.<\/p>\n
Divorce is never required. Often, I find that the person who wasn’t involved in fornication is willing to forgive his spouse’s sin and work on the marriage. I encourage people to solve problems, forgive, and honor their covenant. It is only when a spouse is set on committing fornication regardless of the efforts of his spouse that divorce should be considered as an option.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: Good morning brother, In Matthew 19:9, the Scripture teaches that a person can divorce another if the other person has committed adultery. My question is: Could the person trying to divorce the other not be able to go through with a divorce if they aren’t innocent? For example, me and my wife are going…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[167],"class_list":["post-64798","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-divorce"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":67739,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-if-a-person-lied-about-his-past-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":64798,"position":0},"title":"What if a person lied about his past marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 21, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Greetings, I have enjoyed reading your studies and answers for many years. I have two questions if you could answer them please. So far I have only been able to find an answer in necessary inference. If a Christian in good standing unknowingly marries a person who lied about\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":28224,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-person-who-married-a-person-who-had-no-right-to-marry-divorce-and-marry-someone-else\/","url_meta":{"origin":64798,"position":1},"title":"Can a person who married a person who had no right to marry, divorce, and marry someone else?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 28, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: If a man marries a woman who was not supposed to remarry because she and her husband had committed adultery, can the man in the second marriage divorce her because of her continued adulteries during the second marriage and be able to marry again? Answer: When a person marries\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43526,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-matthew-199-only-refer-to-fornication-prior-to-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":64798,"position":2},"title":"Does Matthew 19:9 only refer to fornication prior to marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 17, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I am confused about your definition of porneia in Mathew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9. In your answer to the question \"My wife is leaving me after only seven months of marriage. Where does this leave me?\" you said that: \"One of the reasons for the divorce has to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24160,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-my-wife-or-i-remarry-after-the-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":64798,"position":3},"title":"Can my wife or I remarry after the divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 30, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My story: My wife and I are Christians. A few years ago my wife had an affair. I forgave her. But since that time I have been the spouse who has pretty much carried the relationship. I suggested counseling and suggested a closer walk with God. I notified my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9600,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-man-divorce-his-wife-for-not-having-sex-with-him\/","url_meta":{"origin":64798,"position":4},"title":"Can a man divorce his wife for not having sex with him?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 28, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: If a woman denies sex to her husband, is this unlawful sex and, therefore, fornication? If a twenty-year-old wife refuses to have sex with her twenty-one-year-old husband, does he have any grounds to divorce? Answer: As stated in\u00a0a prior answer, when a person wants to do something, such as\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2894,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-it-matter-who-files-for-the-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":64798,"position":5},"title":"Does it matter who files for the divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 24, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: When you say that someone may divorce their spouse due to fornication, does it matter who actually files the papers? A woman I know moved out of her house, filed divorce papers, and then started dating another man. Her husband didn't know for sure if she was committing adultery\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64798","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=64798"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/64798\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=64798"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=64798"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=64798"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}