Good day, pastor,<\/p>\n
I hope you are doing well.<\/p>\n
My fiancee and I have been engaged for almost three years now. There was a time when I was going on many business trips. During that period I met a lady and I developed feelings for her but I didn’t tell her about them.\u00a0 She asked me whether I was engaged or not and told me how she liked me. I told her that I was sorry that couldn’t be possible because I was engaged. I told her we could only be friends.<\/p>\n
Later after a month, I fell into fornication with her. I felt miserable that day but I kept on falling for several weeks. Eventually, I went back to my original city. I felt so bad because I realized that I dishonored God and didn’t keep my engagement with my fiancee. I repented and stopped talking to that lady. Even when I go to her city on a business trip, I avoid her as best as I can.<\/p>\n
My question is how do I talk to my fiancee about my failure and ask her to forgive me? I know that I have really messed up and spoiled everything. I just want to get advice from you. This issue has been disturbing my peace for months because I don’t know whether she will forgive me, and I don’t want to lose her. At the same time, I can’t hide this from her because if I hide it, the devil might one day use this issue against me. But if I tell her, I might end up losing her. The truth is that I am the one to blame because in both cases I’m wrong. So please advise me on what I should do.<\/p>\n
Faithfully yours<\/p>\n\t
While I know you want to avoid the consequences of your sin, some things just have to be faced. Your fiancee believes she is marrying a virgin man who has been faithful to her. That is no longer true. She has to decide whether she will marry a man who gave into sexual temptation or not. I understand that you do not want to lose her, but that should have been on your mind before you dropped your pants. You made a choice back then. I am so glad that you repented of that sin. However, it is now time for your fiancee to make her choice.<\/p>\n
There is no good way to approach this subject. You’ll just have to find a quiet time when you can talk to her privately. She is going to be upset. She doesn’t need to be embarrassed and upset in front of others. Stick to the facts, don’t offer excuses, and let her know how horrible you feel and how you’ve changed.<\/p>\n
If she decides that she will not marry a man she cannot trust, then you’ll have to accept that this was the consequence of your sin. If she decides that you have repented and that you’ll be faithful in marriage, then you can thank the Lord that you found a good woman.<\/p>\n\t
Thank you so much for your advice.<\/p>\n
Since that day, I just feel sorry about what I did, but as you mentioned I have to face the consequences of my sin.<\/p>\n
Thank you, pastor. May God bless you abundantly.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: Good day, pastor, I hope you are doing well. My fiancee and I have been engaged for almost three years now. There was a time when I was going on many business trips. During that period I met a lady and I developed feelings for her but I didn’t tell her about them.\u00a0 She…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[662,1572],"class_list":["post-64239","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-engagement","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":44852,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-an-engaged-couple-bound-to-each-other-just-as-if-they-are-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":64239,"position":0},"title":"Is an engaged couple bound to each other just as if they are married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 13, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi I read an article on your website that gave me the impression that you are a God-fearing man who wants to make choices based on God's words. I am troubled with a problem, and I need advice. I got engaged some time ago, but my fiancee left me.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":51816,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/did-i-act-too-fast-when-i-broke-up-with-my-fiancee-because-she-was-seeing-other-men\/","url_meta":{"origin":64239,"position":1},"title":"Did I act too fast when I broke up with my fianc\u00e9e because she was seeing other men?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 26, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm in my thirties and my fianc\u00e9e is in her twenties. I've been in a relationship for three years with her, and we got engaged. She said I was the only one she was seeing, but within that period I forgave her twice for texting and dating other men.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19157,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-the-person-who-had-sex-with-another-persons-fiancee-needs-to-apologize-to-the-fiancee\/","url_meta":{"origin":64239,"position":2},"title":"Does the person who had sex with another person’s fiancee needs to apologize to the fiancee","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 27, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: If a Christian sister falls into formication with a brother who is engaged, and both have sincerely repented, is it necessary for the sister to call the brother's fianc\u00e9e to apologize as a form of restitution?\u00a0 Does the brother need to tell his fianc\u00e9e and show her the sister\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":40929,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-was-engaged-to-a-woman-but-i-married-the-woman-i-got-pregnant-now-she-refuses-to-divorce-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":64239,"position":3},"title":"I was engaged to a woman, but I married the woman I got pregnant. Now she refuses to divorce me","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Kindly advise me on what to do. I got a lady impregnated. When she told me, I said if that be the case then she has to keep it, but she refused. She insisted that she would abort it. I disagreed with her, but she insisted on aborting it.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":51315,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-need-to-tell-my-fiancee-that-ive-been-having-sex-with-other-women-during-our-engagement\/","url_meta":{"origin":64239,"position":4},"title":"Do I need to tell my fianc\u00e9e that I’ve been having sex with other women during our engagement?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 8, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been into several relationships in the past, but none is as great as the one I am currently in. The problem is that I have not been able to maintain sexual purity for the past several years after I became sexually active. Currently, I am nearly 30\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34506,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-fiancee-is-having-trouble-forgiving-me-for-my-past-sexual-sins\/","url_meta":{"origin":64239,"position":5},"title":"My fiancee is having trouble forgiving me for my past sexual sins","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 27, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am having an issue with my engagement. Before I met my fiancee I was not a Christian. I had had sex with multiple partners. My fiancee, at times, has trouble forgiving me for these past sins. What can I do to help her? 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