https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/ParentingTwoAndThreeYearOldsLimits.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n\tby Jeffrey W. Hamilton<\/p>\n\t
Text: Hebrews 12:3-14<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I. What parent hasn’t been warned about the terrible twos and threes<\/p>\n
A. The cause of trouble<\/p>\n
1. No longer completely dependent on parents<\/p>\n 2. Children can efficiently move about — run, climb, manipulate objects —\nbut they haven’t learned safety.\n
3. They can now express their desires, but they haven’t learned tact.<\/p>\n
4. They have a measure of independence but no restraint.<\/p>\n
B. A trying time for parents<\/p>\n
1. The child now demands to do things his way.<\/p>\n
a. The cereal must be in the green bowl<\/p>\n b. Supper must be the familiar — they could have peanut butter and\njelly every meal and be content\n
c. Dad has to play now<\/p>\n
2. Meanwhile, the parent is thinking<\/p>\n
a. What kind of monster have I brought into this world<\/p>\n b. There must have been some mix up at the hospital, surely this\ncannot be one of mine.\n
c. Where did I lose that sweet child of a few months ago?<\/p>\n
II. Limits are needed<\/p>\n A. Have you ever awoke at night in an unfamiliar room? Moving is difficult and\nsometimes painful. Once the lights are on and you can see the walls and furniture,\nthings become vastly easier.\n
B. A child needs limits to be comfortable and secure<\/p>\n
1. We live our whole life with rules and restrictions. No one can avoid them.<\/p>\n
2. A child must be trained to respect authority.<\/p>\n
3. Proverbs 22:6 – Train in the direction the child should go<\/p>\n 4. Have you notice young children will often cling to their parents when\nfaced with something new. They’ll explore, but they always run back for a\nlittle time with Mom.\n
a. Annoying when you are trying to get supper on<\/p>\n
b. But they need to know you are there when they need you<\/p>\n
C. Even grownups learn to live with restrictions<\/p>\n
1. I Corinthians 6:12 – Not everything lawful is helpful<\/p>\n
2. I Corinthians 10:23 – Not everything builds a person up<\/p>\n
III. Twos and Threes will test the limits<\/p>\n
A. Were is the line? Is it firm? Does “no” really mean no?<\/p>\n B. This means the parents must have a firm idea about exactly what is acceptable and\nunacceptable behavior\n
C. This means that parents must be prepared to enforce the rules – Proverbs 29:17<\/p>\n
1. Rest and delight will come with applied effort<\/p>\n
D. The Bible’s teaching on child discipline<\/p>\n
1. Proverbs 13:24 – Love requires discipline<\/p>\n
a. Our Father’s example – Hebrews 12:3-11<\/p>\n
2. Proverbs 22:15 – Removes foolishness (silliness) from a child<\/p>\n
a. A young child doesn’t think about consequences.<\/p>\n b. He does not realize that standing on a rocking chair might mean a\ntumble into the corner of the coffee table.\n 3. Proverbs 23:13-14 – It will NOT harm the child and will save him from\nHell.\n
4. Proverbs 29:15 – Gives wisdom to the child and prevents embarrassment<\/p>\n 5. Rod – “a branch or scion”, a slender stick, a switch (Jeremiah 1:11;\nGenesis 30:37)\n
E. When to administer<\/p>\n
1. Make sure the child understands what you are saying and is listening<\/p>\n
a. If there are distractions, have the child look you in the eyes<\/p>\n
b. Have the child acknowledge that he heard you<\/p>\n
(1) “Yes ma’am” or “yes sir” is more than mere politeness<\/p>\n
c. Give instruction in simple words and few concepts<\/p>\n
(1) “It’s bedtime. Pick up your toys.” (Good)<\/p>\n (2) “Honey, go out to the garage and get Daddy’s phillips-head\nscrewdriver out of the toolbox on the second shelf” (Bad)\n d. Most two and three year olds can only grasp one step or idea at a\ntime.\n
2. Punish willful disobedience or negligence<\/p>\n a. I’m not talking about true accidences. Glasses turn over on the\nbest of us, but if a child is told not to reach across the table and he\ndoes anyway, spilling the milk, then a punishment should be\ninflicted.\n b. At this age, you can often see it in their eyes. The look of “I dare\nyou”. \n (1) I have seen three-year-olds get their parents attention before\nbreaking the rule.\n
(2) You may think, “What is this child doing?” <\/p>\n
(3) He is testing the limits.<\/p>\n
c. Punishment should be due to the child’s breaking a rule. <\/p>\n (1) Never punish because you had bad day at the office or\nbecause junior kept you up half the night with a cold. \n
(2) Though don’t forgo punishing an infraction on a bad day.<\/p>\n
F. The punishment must hurt<\/p>\n 1. The use of a switch on the bottom or legs will not cause permentant injury\n– Proverbs 23:13-14\n
2. It may hurt, but they will heal – physically and spiritually – Proverbs 20:30<\/p>\n 3. Chasten (literally blows) while there is hope of turning your child from\ndestruction – Proverbs 19:18\n
4. Strong enough that the child does not want a repeat<\/p>\n a. Initially a single switch may be enough. The startlement alone is\nsufficent punishment\n
b. If the child quickly repeats the wrong action, it wasn’t enough. <\/p>\n c. It may take repeated times until the child learns you really mean\nwhat you say. Consistency is needed.\n d. Older children may need a more severe punishment, but by that\ntime the need for it should be rarer.\n 5. The punishment is between you and the child. Take him off to the side\nwhere friends cannot gloat over his punishment. Never let another child\npunish for you.\n 6. The punishment must be timely, two-year-old will not associate a\npunishment “when Daddy gets home” with a misdeed that morning. \n
a. They live in the now, the dealings with them must be in the now.<\/p>\n b. This is often why punishments get repeated. Johnny learned last\nweek that he could not have a cookie before dinner and here he is\ntrying to sneak one again this week.\n c. The child might remember last weeks punishment, but he doesn’t\nconnect it to this week’s desire.\n
G. Defiance must not be rewarded<\/p>\n
1. Don’t give in just because little Johny is more stubborn than you are.<\/p>\n 2. Don’t give in because it is not a convenient time, such as store or\nrestaurant. \n
a. You will teach them to wait for an audience to defy you.<\/p>\n b. Given today’s anti-disciplinary views, you may have to use a single\nswat or take the child home to correct.\n
IV. Religious Training<\/p>\n
A. Lessons<\/p>\n
1. Reverence for God and Jesus<\/p>\n
2. Respect for authority<\/p>\n
3. Sharing<\/p>\n
4. The concept of prayer<\/p>\n
5. The concept of worship and the need to be quiet during worship<\/p>\n
6. Wrongful actions — lying, stealing, disobeying, etc.<\/p>\n
B. Introduce the major characters of the Bible, using simple themes<\/p>\n
1. Adam & Eve – Need for doing what God said<\/p>\n
2. Cain & Abel – Caring about others<\/p>\n
3. Abraham – Trusting God<\/p>\n
4. Joseph – God’s Protection<\/p>\n
5. Moses – God’s Protection; Loyalty<\/p>\n
6. Daniel – God’s Protection<\/p>\n
7. Jesus – God’s Love<\/p>\n
C. Major events<\/p>\n
1. Creation<\/p>\n
2. The flood<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Hebrews 12:3-14 I. What parent hasn’t been warned about the terrible twos and threes A. The cause of trouble 1. No longer completely dependent on parents 2. Children can efficiently move about — run, climb, manipulate objects — but they haven’t learned safety. 3. They can now express their desires, but they haven’t learned…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[119,1031,1028,32],"tags":[1656,665,106,29,107],"class_list":["post-63228","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-audio","category-childhood","category-parenting","category-sermon","tag-boundaries","tag-child-rearing","tag-discipline","tag-parenting","tag-raising-children"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":62413,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/parenting-mistakes\/","url_meta":{"origin":63228,"position":0},"title":"Parenting Mistakes","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 24, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"by Scott Smelser The Family","rel":"","context":"In "Audio"","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":62721,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/parents\/","url_meta":{"origin":63228,"position":1},"title":"Parents","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 2, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"by Robert Speer The Home","rel":"","context":"In "Audio"","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":62417,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-children\/","url_meta":{"origin":63228,"position":2},"title":"The Children","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 25, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"by Scott Smelser The Family","rel":"","context":"In "Audio"","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":47717,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/generational-degeneration\/","url_meta":{"origin":63228,"position":3},"title":"Generational Degeneration","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 20, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"by Raymond Warfel","rel":"","context":"In "Audio"","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":48577,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-role-of-fathers\/","url_meta":{"origin":63228,"position":4},"title":"The Role of Fathers","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 19, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"by Raymond Warfel","rel":"","context":"In "Audio"","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":49751,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/teach-your-children\/","url_meta":{"origin":63228,"position":5},"title":"Teach Your Children","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 15, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"by Raymond Warfel","rel":"","context":"In "Audio"","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63228","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=63228"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/63228\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=63228"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=63228"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=63228"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}