by Jeffrey W. Hamilton<\/p>\n\t
Text: Psalm 50<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I. As Christianity spread through the Gentile world, it faced many challenges<\/p>\n A. For thousands of years, the Gentiles gave little thought to God. Oh, they had their\ngods, but these were little more than extensions of their own desires. No, they\nlived in a world where men did what they wanted to do as they saw fit.\n
B. Becoming a Christian meant changing the cultural norm. – I Corinthians 6:9-11<\/p>\n 1. Think about it. A church made up of people who were once swindlers,\n“party animals,” alcoholics, and thieves. They had people who had focused\nonly gaining the most of this world’s goods. Some were living for sexual\npleasure: unmarried people were having sex, married people were having\nsex with people to whom they weren’t married, homosexuality was\nprevalent as well as cross-dressing. Some of these sexual practices were\neven done in the name of religion!\n 2. Think about the artwork that has survived from this period of time. The\ncelebration of nudity and the striving for sensual pleasures.\n 3. The change to living a life of a Christians was a startling contrast – I Peter\n4:1-5\n C. A fair portion of our New Testaments discusses sexual sins. Obviously it was a\nsignificant problem and God saw that it would continue to be a problem.\n D. In an article on why the divorce rate is so high in the areas of our country where\nProtestant religion is strongly followed, a few lame guesses were quoted.\n 1. One that stuck out was: “Due in part to Oklahoma’s conservative religious\nvalues, relatively few young couples live together before marriage. ‘There\nis very strong pressure: If you’re going to have an intimate relationship, it\nhas got to be in marriage,’ said Dr. Stewart Beasley, president of the\nOklahoma Psychological Association. ‘When you get that pushed down\nyour throat, it doesn’t give you a whole lot of options.’ One option is early\nmarriages, said Beasley, ‘and the younger they are, the less likely they’ll\nmake a success of it.’”\n 2. Did you catch that? Dr. Beasley thinks that Oklahoma’s divorce rate is\nhigh because most people don’t live together before marriage! This\ndoesn’t help my already low regard for modern psychology.\n
E. Is it a wonder with advice like this that sexual immorality is rampant today?<\/p>\n 1. The number of unmarried, cohabiting adults of the opposite sex has risen\nfrom 439,000 in 1960 to 4,236,000 in 1998.\n
2. That is nearly a 1000% increase in less than 40 years!<\/p>\n
II. Why People Living Together without Marriage<\/p>\n
A. The stigma against sex outside of marriage has been removed from society.<\/p>\n 1. “Cohabitation is also more common among those who are less religious\nthan their peers. Indeed, some evidence suggests that the act of\ncohabitation actually diminishes religious participation, whereas marriage\ntends to increase it.”\n 2. No longer is our society concerned with answering to the almighty God in\nHeaven – Hebrews 13:4\n 3. People give lip service to following the laws of God, but they live in evil –\nPsalm 50:16-22\n 4. The stigma did not come from society itself, but the fact that society\nrecognized a higher authority.\n
a. Paul talked of the Gentile society that forgot God – Romans 1:21-23<\/p>\n b. The first step leaving God was a dishonoring of the body in lust –\nRomans 1:24.\n c. When people lose their sight of God, they cast off the restraints on\ntheir actions – Proverbs 29:18\n
B. Technology has made it possible have sex without producing children.<\/p>\n
1. It is amazing to me how often obvious lessons have to be re-learned.<\/p>\n a. If you removed a negative consequence from an action, does a\nperson increase or decrease doing that action?\n b. If there was no consequence to raiding the cookie jar, will more or\nless cookies be eaten at your house?\n
c. A child left to himself will come to disgrace – Proverbs 29:15<\/p>\n d. If a child is not disciplined, you are encouraging his death – Prov\n19:18\n 2. Sex outside of marriage is not longer seen as wrong in our society, so there\nis no discipline there. Yet also we have removed the natural consequence\nof sex, which is the production of children.\n
a. This is done by teaching children how to avoid pregnancy.<\/p>\n b. We then freely give them the means with which to sin and then not\ntake responsibility for their action.\n c. And if they slip up and a child is conceived, why we make it\npossible for them to remove the “inconvenience” by allowing them\nto kill their child and even paying for the procedure.\n
3. Sex within marriage is supposed to be fun – Proverbs 5:19<\/p>\n a. A married couple shouldn’t be concerned if a child is produced,\nbecause it is expected and that is the place where children are to be\nraised – Psalm 127:3; Psalm 128:3-4\n b. But what we have done is allowed people to partake of the\npleasures of sex without having to face its consequences.\n C. Our society focuses on self-fulfillment, but marriage is a commitment to someone\nelse.\n
1. Feminism emphasizes an independence from men.<\/p>\n
a. No longer is order God established recognized – I Corinthians 11:2-3<\/p>\n b. It is seen as offensive for a woman to be dependent in any way on a\nmany – Ephesians 5:22-24\n 2. But it is not just the independence of women from men. Men too are\nrejecting their responsibility for women and their children. – Eph 5:28-30\n 3. Our materialistic society emphasizes the gaining of things. Marriage\ninvolves sharing your things with someone else\n a. Hence, prenuptial agreements, which define what are my things\nbefore the marriage and what I’m taking with me when we divorce.\n
b. People are reluctant to become one so they remain two.<\/p>\n D. A fear of failure. As more marriages and cohabiting break, the people involved\nand their children fear it will happen to them.\n
1. You can see this in the delay of marriage until “I’m financially set.”<\/p>\n
a. Part selfish<\/p>\n
b. Part an unwillingness to start unless you can see you will succeed.<\/p>\n
c. It is a lack of courage<\/p>\n (1) When the Israelites came to take the land flowing with milk\nand honey, did it not take courage on their part to enter into\nwar? – Deuteronomy 31:6\n (2) It takes courage to follow the Lord’s teachings – II\nCorinthians 5:6-10\n (3) The fearful put off when they are uncertain as to the\noutcome. That is why the children of Israel wandered in the\nwilderness for 40 years.\n
2. Pressure to delay marriage until you are “mature.”<\/p>\n a. Teenage marriages have a high rate of failure, so the thought is the\nlonger you delay, the more likely the marriage will succeed.\n
b. Our own history shows this concept to be false.<\/p>\n
(1) We marry later, yet half of our marriages fail.<\/p>\n (2) Just a few generations ago we married younger and those\nmarriages lasted!\n
c. Marriage is not just for the old – Proverbs 5:18, Malachi 2:14<\/p>\n
d. It is a lack of trust that God’s way works<\/p>\n e. What is happening is people are delaying until they are so set in\ntheir ways that they are unwilling to bond to another and adapt and\nmold their life around someone else.\n
III. The Harm of Living Together without Marriage<\/p>\n A. Cohabiting does not reduce the likelihood of divorce; in fact, it leads to a higher\ndivorce rate (measured at 46% higher rate in 1987).\n
1. Sex causes a bonding between the partners – I Corinthians 6:15-16<\/p>\n B. People learn to live with someone without commitment. Therefore relationships\nare frequently broken while living together and for the rest of their life.\n
1. There is little commitment to the partner.<\/p>\n
a. People who just live together frequently have multiple bed partners.<\/p>\n
b. They frequently move in and out of relationships.<\/p>\n c. Instead of strengthening the bonds, they are constantly made and\nbroken.\n
d. They literally don’t know how to stay with just one partner.<\/p>\n e. In warning against the harlot, Solomon says her ways are unstable –\nProverbs 5:6\n 2. There is a strong view of living for self-gratification. Tolerance for\nunhappiness is diminished.\n
a. No relationship is perfectly smooth.<\/p>\n b. A marriage is a commitment to another person despite the\ndisappointments.\n
(1) Doesn’t count the wrongs suffered – I Corinthians 13:5<\/p>\n
(2) Bears all things, . . . endures all things – I Corinthians 13:7<\/p>\n
c. A cohabitation is a matter of convenience. <\/p>\n
3. It increases the acceptance of divorce (1997 study).<\/p>\n
C. It leads to unhappiness<\/p>\n 1. “Cohabiting couples report lower levels of happiness, lower levels of sexual\nexclusivity and sexual satisfaction, and poorer relationships with their\nparents.”\n
a. The harlot, in the end, is bitter – Proverbs 5:3-4<\/p>\n
2. In part it is due to the uncertainty of the continuance of the relationship.<\/p>\n 3. “Annual rates of depression among cohabiting couples are more than three\ntimes what they are among married couples. And women in cohabiting\nrelationships are more likely than married women to suffer physical and\nsexual abuse.”\n
D. It harms the children involved<\/p>\n 1. “One study found that children currently living with a mother and her\nunmarried partner had significantly more behavior problems and lower\nacademic performance than children from intact families.”\n 2. Since the partner is likely not to be biological (father or mother), abuse\ntends to be 14 to 33 times higher than in a stable married family (from a\nstudy in Great Britain).\n 3. Children are meant to be raised in a family comprised of two married,\nloving partners.\n 4. The Bible talks of the widows and the fatherless as defenseless targets who\nneed protection – Jeremiah 22:3\n
5. The fatherless have no helper – Job 29:12<\/p>\n
6. The wicked prey upon them – Psalm 94:6<\/p>\n
E. It leads to economic hardships<\/p>\n 1. Cohabiting couples tend to have low incomes, just slightly higher than\nsingle people.\n a. 6% of married couples with children are living in poverty, 31% of\ncohabiting couples with children are living in poverty, and 45% of\nsingle mothers are living in poverty.\n
b. Economic hardship and decaying health – Proverbs 5:8-14<\/p>\n 2. Reason is the lack of motivation for men to become more responsible and\nproductive.\n
3. A man is responsible for the provisions of his family – I Timothy 5:8<\/p>\n
F. It leads to physical and spiritual health problems<\/p>\n
1. The use of multiple partners spreads diseases rapidly<\/p>\n
2. Proverbs 7:21-27 – It costs a man his life.<\/p>\n
3. Proverbs 9:13-18<\/p>\n
IV. God consistently refers to sex outside of marriage as a sin<\/p>\n
A. Fornication – sex between unmarried partners<\/p>\n
B. Adultery – sex between partners where at least one is married.<\/p>\n C. One cannot participate in these acts and be a part of God’s kingdom – I\nCorinthians 6:9-10\n D. Other sins, such as thievery or lying are committed against other people, but sexual\nsin is one that is committed against your own body. – I Corinthians 6:18-20\n 1. I Thessalonians 4:3-8 – We are to hold our body in honor and set it for holy\npurposes. We are not to use it for impure purposes, such as sexual sins.\n
2. We are not even to make jokes about it – Ephesians 5:3-5<\/p>\n
3. Proverbs 6:27-33 – It destroys the man – body and soul.<\/p>\nV. God is not being cruel, giving men and women the appetite for sex and then denying them\nthe satisfaction of it.\n A. What God has stated is that sex is designed for pleasure in a committed, covenant\nrelationship called marriage.\n
B. God gives us a desire to eat, but that doesn’t mean we put anything in our mouths.<\/p>\n
C. The satisfaction of sex is for a husband and wife – Genesis 2:24<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Psalm 50 I. As Christianity spread through the Gentile world, it faced many challenges A. For thousands of years, the Gentiles gave little thought to God. Oh, they had their gods, but these were little more than extensions of their own desires. No, they lived in a world where men did…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[1572,64],"class_list":["post-62683","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sermon","tag-fornication","tag-marriage"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":40006,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/could-childrens-pretend-marriage-ceremonies-be-considered-real\/","url_meta":{"origin":62683,"position":0},"title":"Could children’s pretend marriage ceremonies be considered real?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 27, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I can't even believe I am asking this, but I've been anxious about doing the right thing lately and have been reading your page a lot. When my husband was a child, his parents held a joke wedding ceremony between him and another little girl. They were no\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37204,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-a-man-be-faithful-in-marriage-after-having-a-promiscuous-past\/","url_meta":{"origin":62683,"position":1},"title":"Can a man be faithful in marriage after having a promiscuous past?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 16, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: In my years, I have heard many little stories about men who have sex with as many women as possible before marriage, but when he is married, changes and remains faithful. Some men call it \"getting it out your system.\" However, I have never met a man who was\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":51254,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-a-sin-to-marry-without-getting-a-license-or-having-a-witness\/","url_meta":{"origin":62683,"position":2},"title":"Is it a sin to marry without getting a license or having a witness?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 31, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Is it a sin to marry without getting a license or having a witness? Can you marry someone in God's eyes and a couple of years later, when I have the money saved up to actually have a wedding, and then get the license? My girlfriend and I don't\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8375,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-a-person-commits-fornication-while-engaged-does-that-affect-the-later-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":62683,"position":3},"title":"If a person commits fornication while engaged, does that affect the later marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 8, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My spouse was engaged to a woman for a month and a half. They were sexually active before and after they became engaged. They were not faithful to each other during the engagement and decided to break the engagement. He has since repented for his sin (been baptized, etc.)\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":92231,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/until-death-do-us-part\/","url_meta":{"origin":62683,"position":4},"title":"Until Death Do Us Part","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 18, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"by R. L. Craig via\u00a0Expository Review, January 1983 \"Do you take this young woman, whose right hand you now hold, to be your lawfully wedded wife; her, to cherish her, in sickness or in health, in prosperity or adversity, for better or for worse; do you promise to be true\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":45935,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/marriages\/","url_meta":{"origin":62683,"position":5},"title":"Marriages","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 3, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"by Jeffrey W. Hamilton Text: Genesis 2:18-24 \u00a0 I.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0A statement in a newspaper article stood out \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0A.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Even though the number of marriages ending in divorce has stabilized after many years of rapid rise, the rate of people entering marriage has drastically declined! \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0B.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0In other words, one of the reasons the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Audio"","block_context":{"text":"Audio","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/audio\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62683","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=62683"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62683\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=62683"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=62683"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=62683"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}