Hello sir,<\/p>\n
I have sinned. I lusted after a sister and it progressed so much that we kissed. Right now I am so broken. I have asked God for forgiveness but it seems I can’t forgive myself.<\/p>\n
I have had this dream of being a gospel teacher and an elder. I’ve been consciously building myself for this but to be honest I think I lack self-control.\u00a0I’ve decided to cut off the relationship and withdraw from social life because I feel so bad and hate myself.<\/p>\n
Tomorrow is Sunday and I feel ashamed to go and sit with the saint while stained.<\/p>\n
What hurts me more is that she is a new convert and I have failed to be an example to her.<\/p>\n
I need encouragement. I can’t forgive myself.<\/p>\n\t
“Forgiveness” is a banking term. It means to release someone from a debt that they owe you. So what debt do you think you owe to yourself?<\/p>\n
Sin is a debt to God because God tells us not to sin. “For the wages of sin is death<\/em>” (Romans 6:23). Thus, God has the right to release us from our debt, but we cannot release ourselves.<\/p>\n “Lust” is a strong desire to break a command of God. Thus, when you say that you are lusting for this woman, you are implying that you want to have sex with her without getting married to her. I don’t know if that is what you intended to say or whether you just find yourself strongly attracted to her and call the attraction “lust.” It is normal for men and women to find some people attractive. It is the attraction that causes us to be bold enough to talk with another person and get to know them. It becomes wrong when you start letting that attraction lead you into imagining committing sin with someone and justifying the sin to yourself. “For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God<\/em>” (I Thessalonians 4:3-5).<\/p>\n Kisses can be right or wrong, depending on what is done and with what motives. You are to treat women you are not married to as mothers, aunts, and sisters. Appeal to the older men as fathers, “the younger men as brothers, the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity<\/em>” (I Timothy 5:1-2). That last phrase is important: “in all purity<\/em>.”<\/p>\n Allow me to assume that you slipped and allowed your mind to go into territories it doesn’t belong. It doesn’t mean all is lost. It means that you have to recognize that you are a young man with strong desires and you are dealing with a young woman. You can’t trust yourself or your body’s instincts. Stay far away from compromising situations. Only met her where other people are around.<\/p>\n If you are interested in marrying her, consider how much you actually know about her and whether you believe she will make a good wife. Too many young men get caught up in a woman’s looks and forget there are more important things to consider. If you feel she might make a good wife, then talk to her to see if she thinks you might make a good husband.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: Hello sir, I have sinned. I lusted after a sister and it progressed so much that we kissed. Right now I am so broken. I have asked God for forgiveness but it seems I can’t forgive myself. I have had this dream of being a gospel teacher and an elder. I’ve been consciously building…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[156,811],"class_list":["post-62373","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-lust","tag-self-control"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":42825,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-fear-im-becoming-a-lukewarm-christian\/","url_meta":{"origin":62373,"position":0},"title":"I fear I’m becoming a lukewarm Christian","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 3, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been a Christian for about five years now. Recently I have found myself becoming a slave to sin instead of a slave to Christ. I don't like to talk about my emotions and things, so instead of dealing with them, I choose to bottle them up until\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42602,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-just-committed-fornication-how-can-i-forgive-myself\/","url_meta":{"origin":62373,"position":1},"title":"I just committed fornication. How can I forgive myself?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 20, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I just had been surfing the net and came across your post an hour ago. I'm a 22-year-old male from a Christian family. I was well brought up, but I fell into fornication yesterday for the first time in my 22 years on earth with a Muslim friend. 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Answer: \"This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":47997,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-girlfriend-whom-i-thought-i-would-be-marrying-broke-up-with-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":62373,"position":3},"title":"My girlfriend, whom I thought I would be marrying, broke up with me","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 27, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have reached out to you before. My girlfriend of two years and I recently broke up. We were involved in fornication. I am feeling so guilty and have asked God for forgiveness. I believe He has forgiven me, but I can't forgive myself. Will my choices have an\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":84773,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-forgive-myself\/","url_meta":{"origin":62373,"position":4},"title":"How do I forgive myself?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 21, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Brother, I am in my later years and obeyed the gospel nearly forty years ago. I have been in the church of Christ all this time. I have filled in preaching and teaching in my local congregation at many levels. 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