{"id":57775,"date":"2010-01-09T19:56:00","date_gmt":"2010-01-10T01:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=57775"},"modified":"2023-01-09T19:59:11","modified_gmt":"2023-01-10T01:59:11","slug":"the-key-to-better-marriages","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-key-to-better-marriages\/","title":{"rendered":"The Key to Better Marriages"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\tby Edwin L. Crozier
\nvia Gospel Power, Vol. 16, No. 34, August 23, 2009.\n

One thing I have learned about the Bible and marriage is that some of the passages that will help us the most in our marriage were not written specifically about marriage.<\/p>\n

The passage that will help our marriages (and all other relationships) the most is Philippians 2:3,4. In fact, the happiness of our marriages is directly proportional to how well we are submitting to it.<\/p>\n

If we want to have good marriages, we must not do anything out of selfish ambition or conceit. Selfish ambition is politicking to put one’s self forward as important and worthy. Conceit is parading one’s own greatness. Remember, love is neither puffed up nor does it parade itself (I Corinthians 13:4).<\/p>\n

Further, the text said, “In lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself<\/em>.” Whether husband or wife, we must view our spouse as the most important part of the marriage. Instead of being all up in arms about whether or not our spouse honors us, we need to honor our spouse as worth more than ourselves. We need to roll out the red carpet, placing our spouse on the pedestal.<\/p>\n

That will lead to the final exhortation Paul made, saying, “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others<\/em>.” Too much of our time in marriage is spent accomplishing our own interests. If we are going to have to have good marriages, we have to put our own desires aside and view ourselves as instruments to accomplish our spouse’s desires.<\/p>\n

Giving up selfishness in marriage is not easy though. Allow me to illustrate: I remember counseling a young man regarding selfishness in his marriage. I explained that one of three things would happen. Either<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. he would sin by getting divorced,<\/li>\n
  2. he would remain in the marriage and be miserable or<\/li>\n
  3. he would give up his selfishness, serve his wife and have a happy marriage.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    His response was, “Where is the possibility for a good marriage?” I was a little flummoxed at first but then realized the problem. It is a problem we all have to some degree. This young man was so accustomed to looking out for himself that he could not imagine happiness coming from letting go of serving himself. He could only fathom some kind of manipulative approach whereby he decided to play the martyr. He would simply have to grin and bear it while letting his wife walk all over him.<\/p>\n

    No, that is not what this is all about. What this is about is learning that happiness does not come from serving ourselves. Happiness in marriage comes when we truly want to serve our spouse. True happiness in marriage comes when we learn to be happy by making our spouse happy. Then our marriages will be better.<\/p>\n

    Let’s work on better marriages this week and throughout our lives.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    by Edwin L. Crozier via Gospel Power, Vol. 16, No. 34, August 23, 2009. One thing I have learned about the Bible and marriage is that some of the passages that will help us the most in our marriage were not written specifically about marriage. The passage that will help our marriages (and all other…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[27],"tags":[64,1363],"class_list":["post-57775","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-article","tag-marriage","tag-selfishness"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":56861,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/healing-sick-marriages\/","url_meta":{"origin":57775,"position":0},"title":"Healing Sick Marriages","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 14, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"by Allen Dvorak via Gospel Power, Vol. 14, No. 33, Aug. 19, 2007 Any marriage which lasts for very long will experience some rough times. If the physical attraction which dominates the engagement period and the beginning of marriage for many couples is not accompanied by an abiding love, the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":32540,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-the-marriage-of-an-atheist-work-is-it-possible-to-have-a-marriage-that-lasts-without-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":57775,"position":1},"title":"Can the marriage of an atheist work? Is it possible to have a marriage that lasts without divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 16, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Do you think atheist marriages can work? And toward Christian marriages: do you still have to make it work, or can you just be confident it will work since the only reason for a divorce would be cheating? I know a couple -- she's atheist, he's agnostic -- and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":48153,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/are-arranged-marriages-wrong\/","url_meta":{"origin":57775,"position":2},"title":"Are arranged marriages wrong?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 30, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Are arranged marriages wrong? Answer: You find a number of ways marriages came about in the Scriptures, including arranged marriages. For example, Isaac's wife was arranged for him by his father Abraham (Genesis 24:2-9). However, you find other circumstances, such as dating, in the Scriptures as well. See Does\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24759,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-get-out-of-a-forced-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":57775,"position":3},"title":"How do I get out of a forced marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 18, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was forcefully married; there was no court wedding. Now, I no longer want the marriage. What do I do? Answer: A statement doesn't establish the truth. You said you were forced into marriage, but you didn't say how this oddity happened. You even imply that you had in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":61210,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/would-this-marriage-work\/","url_meta":{"origin":57775,"position":4},"title":"Would This Marriage Work?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 8, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"by Bobby Duncan For some time the late brother G. C. Brewer wrote a series of articles in the Gospel Advocate in answer to questions received from readers of that journal. A number of these articles were published in 1941 in a book entitled Contending for the Faith. As would\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":68180,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-god-honor-all-marriages\/","url_meta":{"origin":57775,"position":5},"title":"Does God honor all marriages?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 22, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good morning, I would like to know if God honors all marriages. I was recently in a study and they brought up Hebrews 13:4. I was told this verse God applies to Christians who are in the church. God does not honor marriages outside of Christ. For example, if\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57775","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=57775"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57775\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=57775"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=57775"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=57775"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}