I have been married for almost 15 years. I love her to the end of the world. She is going through menopause and it’s been two years since entering her.\u00a0We have had years of good sex that didn’t involve intercourse but all of a sudden she said it’s a sin and I am frustrated.<\/p>\n
I have had a vasectomy and my sperm is dead. She has no periods. Thus, I cannot understand after so many years this is happening. Why is it now a sin?<\/p>\n
Please help. I’m a member of the Church of England and she’s Roman Catholic. I’m trying to support this with love and affection, but it’s hard to come home with no maybe surprise and compassion.<\/p>\n
Please help.<\/p>\n\t
Roman Catholics believe that things should not be done without purpose. “The Catholic Church teaches that it is a grave sin to deliberately separate sexuality from procreation because the latter is its most essential purpose<\/em>.” (1)\u00a0Thus, each act of sex must include the possibility, however remote, that pregnancy might occur. “… the couple must be open to life and possible conception. Sexual acts engaged in apart from this circumstance are wrong and sinful.” (1)<\/p>\n To this basic claim (that is unsupported by any biblical references) exceptions are allowed. Couples are allowed to time their sexual encounters for periods when the wife is unlikely to become pregnant. “This teaching does not<\/em> mean that a married couple cannot engage in sexual activities when conception is not possible (such as the infertile periods for a woman or after her menopause). What is prohibited is a deliberate thwarting<\/em> of a possible conception during fertile periods.” (1)<\/p>\n The man-made rule leads to unintended consequences. If getting a vasectomy is a sin and acts of intercourse while sterilized are also considered sinful, then how does a person gain forgiveness? Some Roman Catholics say you only have to express regret, but others see this as too easy of an out so they insist that the person has to go through a Sacrament of Penance. (2) But even this is viewed as allowing someone to commit sin and get away with it, so they insist that the person foregoes sex until his wife reaches menopause or has his vasectomy surgically reversed (even though it is acknowledged that such doesn’t usually make a man fertile again). (2)<\/p>\n In Contraceptives<\/a>, I show that biblically life begins at conception. Therefore, preventing conception is not wrong. Sex has purposes other than procreation according to the Scriptures. Denying this truth is wrong. Paul tells us that sex is an expression of marital affection and a means of controlling sexual desires (I Corinthians 7:2-9). It is expected that couples enjoy sex (Proverbs 5:18-19).<\/p>\n The core problem is that you and your wife are a part of denominations that intermix the teachings of men with biblical teachings. “If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees, such as, “Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch!” (which all refer to things destined to perish with use) — in accordance with the commandments and teachings of men? These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence<\/em>” (Colossians 2:20-23). I can point out what the Bible actually teaches, but as long as you put more faith in the teachings of your respective denominations, there isn’t anything I can further do.<\/p>\n Question: I have been married for almost 15 years. I love her to the end of the world. She is going through menopause and it’s been two years since entering her.\u00a0We have had years of good sex that didn’t involve intercourse but all of a sudden she said it’s a sin and I am frustrated.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[40,1599,63],"class_list":["post-57138","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-contraceptives","tag-roman-catholic-church","tag-sex"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":31469,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-having-a-vasectomy-a-sin\/","url_meta":{"origin":57138,"position":0},"title":"Is having a vasectomy a sin?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 27, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Is having a vasectomy a sin? My husband had a vasectomy several years ago. I am just finding out now that we may have committed a rather large sin or is that just a Catholic view? Is this a sin we both committed? Answer: Having a vasectomy is not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37720,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-sinning-by-seeing-a-woman-who-still-lives-with-her-husband-though-she-says-they-are-separated\/","url_meta":{"origin":57138,"position":1},"title":"Am I sinning by seeing a woman who still lives with her husband, though she says they are separated?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 10, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I'm seeing a woman who lives with her husband but is separating and has no relationship with him. She stays together with him for the kids' sake, but this has been going on for two years. Am I committing a sin? I honestly believe her that they are not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9549,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/did-you-hear-that-the-catholics-voted-away-limbo\/","url_meta":{"origin":57138,"position":2},"title":"Did you hear that the Catholics voted away limbo?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 24, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I would just simply like to thank you for the time and research you put into studying what the Catholics believe and using Scripture to refute it.\u00a0 I didn't really know a lot about the Catholic religion until I attended an event where a Catholic man did some basketball\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16509,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/thank-you-for-the-resources-on-catholicism\/","url_meta":{"origin":57138,"position":3},"title":"Thank you for the resources on Catholicism","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 6, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Greetings. I am writing to thank you for all the wonderful lessons on Catholicism that you have on your site.\u00a0 I have been dating someone who came from a Catholic background, and although he went through the Catholic school system, he is learning that he doesn't know anything about\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23206,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-do-you-think-about-the-catholic-view-of-divorce\/","url_meta":{"origin":57138,"position":4},"title":"What do you think about the Catholic view of divorce?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 3, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I read your web site today concerning divorce and the Bible.\u00a0 Clearly, God considers divorce a serious matter, possibly a sin. However, for years Catholics had strict rules about divorce and remarriage.\u00a0 It seems that Catholics were unfairly targeted as being too unforgiving or strict when it came to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24408,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-reach-an-elderly-friend-who-is-a-roman-catholic\/","url_meta":{"origin":57138,"position":5},"title":"How do I reach an elderly friend who is a Roman Catholic?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 31, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was wanting some advice on how to go about witnessing to a Catholic lady whom I know. I am 25 and she is about 75 years old, and we have been friends for about a year now. I was working as a nanny down the street from her\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57138","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=57138"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57138\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=57138"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=57138"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=57138"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Sources:<\/h3>\n
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