{"id":53491,"date":"2018-06-16T21:46:00","date_gmt":"2018-06-17T02:46:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=53491"},"modified":"2022-09-15T21:48:06","modified_gmt":"2022-09-16T02:48:06","slug":"my-boyfriend-is-pushing-to-have-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-boyfriend-is-pushing-to-have-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"My boyfriend is pushing to have sex"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>Good day,<\/p>\n<p>Please, I have something bothering me about my relationship. I have been dating my spouse for a year and a half now, but he has been asking for sex recently, and I don&#8217;t wish to engage in such activities. For now, we can&#8217;t afford money for our wedding. My question is: can I go ahead, have my parents&#8217; blessing for marriage and move on with my life; then later we can have a proper wedding? Is it a sin to have sex after the parents blessed your marriage but before going to the altar?<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>You are trying to find loopholes in God&#8217;s law. You refer to your boyfriend as your &#8220;spouse,&#8221; but that word is for a married couple. You do not have a spouse because you are not married.<\/p>\n<p>Your boyfriend is wanting to violate God&#8217;s law regarding sex being only allowed in marriage (Hebrews 13:4). That is a warning sign: he values his desires more than he values God. It also tells me that he is impatient; and that you two have been involved in sexual behavior (lewdness), even though it hasn&#8217;t gotten to the point of intercourse yet. &#8220;<em>Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts<\/em>&#8221; (Romans 13:13-14). These are hints that you might not have picked the best man to be your husband.<\/p>\n<p>A plan for a wedding is not a marriage. Sex at this point would still be fornication. If you can&#8217;t wait then have a cheap civil marriage now and have a fancy wedding later.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: Good day, Please, I have something bothering me about my relationship. I have been dating my spouse for a year and a half now, but he has been asking for sex recently, and I don&#8217;t wish to engage in such activities. For now, we can&#8217;t afford money for our wedding. My question is: can&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,1572,185],"class_list":["post-53491","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-fornication","tag-temptation"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":22088,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-boyfriend-proposed-to-me-are-we-sinning-if-we-have-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":53491,"position":0},"title":"My boyfriend proposed to me. Are we sinning if we have sex?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 7, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My boyfriend proposed to me. I'm not pregnant and I do love him. Does this make me a sinner, if we have sex? Answer: \"Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge\" (Hebrews 13:4). Sex outside of marriage is a sin.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23076,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-having-a-boyfriend-or-girlfriend-the-biblical-way-to-find-a-spouse\/","url_meta":{"origin":53491,"position":1},"title":"Is having a boyfriend or girlfriend the biblical way to find a spouse?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 26, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Could you please explain what is the biblical way to find a spouse? Many people today choose a girlfriend or boyfriend (some choose more than one) before marriage. But it seems that the Bible never mentioned \"boyfriend\" or \"girlfriend.\" So what is the biblical way of finding a spouse?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41789,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-boyfriend-wants-to-move-in-before-we-get-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":53491,"position":2},"title":"My boyfriend wants to move in before we get married","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear friend, I am super confused now, and it seems like I am in a dilemma. I do not know what I am supposed to do. Please help me. My boyfriend wants to live with me. We are going to rent a two-bedroom apartment. We are seriously in love\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":35412,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-boyfriend-and-i-have-been-living-together-for-years-now-that-i-am-a-christian-should-i-move-out\/","url_meta":{"origin":53491,"position":3},"title":"My boyfriend and I have been living together for years. Now that I am a Christian, should I move out?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 21, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I've been struggling with this question of cohabiting. My boyfriend and I have been living together for about five years. We have one child together who is four years old and I have a child who's thirteen years old. I recently gave my life to the Lord back\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":49384,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-boyfriend-doesnt-want-to-get-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":53491,"position":4},"title":"My boyfriend doesn&#8217;t want to get married","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 31, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hey My boyfriend and I are in a relationship for almost five years. We had sex in the first year of the relationship but then decided to wait until we were married to have sex. We got baptized and went without sex for over two years then we had\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":49079,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-boyfriend-doesnt-want-to-get-married-and-have-a-family-but-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":53491,"position":5},"title":"My boyfriend doesn&#8217;t want to get married and have a family, but I do","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 15, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now. We are still young, in our early twenties, and have different goals in our life. We both live with his parents, in separate rooms of course, but I am ready to take the next step of commitment\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53491","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=53491"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53491\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=53491"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=53491"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=53491"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}