I walked with my friend, a Quaker, to the newsstand the other night, and he bought a paper, thanking the newsie politely. The newsie didn’t even acknowledge it.<\/p>\n
“A sullen fellow, isn’t he?” I commented.<\/p>\n
“Oh, he’s that way every night,” shrugged my friend.<\/p>\n
“Then why do you continue to be so polite to him?” I asked.<\/p>\n
“Why not?” inquired my friend. “Why should I let him decide how I’m going to act?”<\/p>\n
As I thought about this incident later, it occurred to me that the important word was “act.” My friend acts toward people; most of us react toward them.<\/p>\n
He has a sense of inner balance that is lacking in most of us; he knows who he is, what he stands for, and how he should behave. He refuses to return incivility for incivility because then he would no longer be in command of his own conduct. When we are enjoined in the Bible to return good for evil, we look upon this as a moral injunction – which it is. But it is also a psychological prescription for our emotional health.<\/p>\n
Nobody is unhappier than the perpetual reactor. His center of emotional gravity is not rooted within himself, where it belongs, but in the world outside him. His spiritual temperature is always being raised or lowered by the social climate around him, and he is a mere creature at the mercy of these elements.<\/p>\n
Praise gives him a feeling of euphoria, which is false because it does not last and it does not come from self-approval. Criticism depresses him more than it should because it confirms his own secret shaky opinion of himself. Snubs hurt him, and the merest suspicion of unpopularity in any quarter rouses him to bitterness.<\/p>\n
A serenity of spirit cannot be achieved until we become the masters of our own actions and attitudes. To let another determine whether we shall be rude or gracious, elated or depressed, is to relinquish control over our own personalities, which is ultimately all we possess … . The only true possession is self-possession.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
by Sydney J. Harris I walked with my friend, a Quaker, to the newsstand the other night, and he bought a paper, thanking the newsie politely. The newsie didn’t even acknowledge it. “A sullen fellow, isn’t he?” I commented. “Oh, he’s that way every night,” shrugged my friend. “Then why do you continue to be…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[642],"class_list":["post-53313","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-article","tag-christianity"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":22219,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/why-did-peter-follow-jesus-in-matthew-2628\/","url_meta":{"origin":53313,"position":0},"title":"Why did Peter follow Jesus in Matthew 26:28?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 17, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Why did Peter follow Jesus in Matthew 26:28? Is your understanding that the \"reason\" that he\u00a0followed Jesus was only because he wanted to see what was going to happen?\u00a0 Not to stand up for Jesus? Perhaps I\u00a0should have explained that I\u00a0am working on a lesson for Sunday morning and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19504,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-took-some-pictures-from-my-boyfriend-and-he-pushed-me-into-a-wall-trying-to-get-them-back-should-i-be-concerned-that-he-might-be-violent\/","url_meta":{"origin":53313,"position":1},"title":"I took some pictures from my boyfriend, and he pushed me into a wall trying to get them back. Should I be concerned that he might be violent?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I need some advice on a situation that just recently happened to me. I went to visit my boyfriend on Sunday night. At first, we were getting along, laughing and joking. Then I saw a picture of him and his ex-friend, about five of them. I walked toward them\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19729,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/why-do-i-still-miss-my-friend-who-died\/","url_meta":{"origin":53313,"position":2},"title":"Why do I still miss my friend who died?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 10, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello sir, I hope, by the grace of God, you're well. I lost a very good friend of mine last year He was a Christian and also a classmate at the university. Everyone who came in contact with him was surprised and impressed by his level of faith at\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":22173,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/why-should-we-go-to-church-every-sunday\/","url_meta":{"origin":53313,"position":3},"title":"Why should we go to church every Sunday?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 15, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Recently a friend asked me why we should go to church every Sunday. I told him to learn the Word of God, but he said we can learn that any time. So why should we go to church? Answer: Ask your friend what he learned from the Bible last\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":45499,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-jesus-dealt-with-his-friends\/","url_meta":{"origin":53313,"position":4},"title":"How Jesus Dealt with His Friends","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 21, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"by Steve Goff A true friend is not easily found. A trustworthy advocate who consistently manifests affection for us and who honestly seeks our best interest without ulterior motive is rare in this life. But one such friend available to all men is Jesus Christ. In temptation, we can find\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7215,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-should-i-do-about-a-person-who-harmed-me-but-hasnt-asked-for-forgiveness\/","url_meta":{"origin":53313,"position":5},"title":"What should I do about a person who harmed me but hasn’t asked for forgiveness?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 24, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: A brother had some time ago committed sin indirectly and has yet to apologize or ask for forgiveness. I had expected him to help with our youth program and he was very instrumental in it. We had a special night and he reneged. 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