{"id":5292,"date":"2019-07-05T16:56:06","date_gmt":"2019-07-05T21:56:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=5292"},"modified":"2019-07-21T14:26:48","modified_gmt":"2019-07-21T19:26:48","slug":"how-do-i-talk-to-my-wife-about-modesty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-talk-to-my-wife-about-modesty\/","title":{"rendered":"How do I talk to my wife about modesty?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

My wife struggles with modesty. I do my best to show and tell her that I support and love her regardless of her decisions, but it still makes me uncomfortable when she chooses to dress immodestly. It\u2019s not that I don\u2019t find her attractive, because she is. I feel uncomfortable because I believe that God wants us to dress in ways that are respectful to our bodies.<\/p>\n

It is especially hard when we are in public and other members of our church congregation judge her (by giving her \u2018the eye\u2019 or making snide comments). This hurts her faith and decreases her desire to attend church and follow God.<\/p>\n

What should I do? What should we do?<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

You have concluded that your wife’s choice in clothing is not modest. You notice that the women in the congregation have made the same conclusion, but the women are faulted for “judging” your wife. Your wife doesn’t desire to attend services, but you put the blame on the women of the church. It appears to me that since both you and the women have reached the same conclusion, that it is your wife who doesn’t want to be someplace that causes her to realize that she isn’t making the greatest of choices.<\/p>\n

It appears that both you and the women are avoiding talking directly to your wife about her choices in clothing. Perhaps you know it won’t go well, and most people try to avoid conflict.<\/p>\n

In order to convince her to change, you would have to know why she is making the choices that she is making. When a person thinks that everyone else has a problem and not herself, she is using her own feelings to decide what is acceptable. One lesson I’ve used in the past to get people to think about what kind of statement they are making with their clothing is:\u00a0What Does Your Clothing Say?<\/a><\/p>\n

All I can suggest is continued teaching by you and the church regarding modesty, submission, and being different from the world.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: My wife struggles with modesty. I do my best to show and tell her that I support and love her regardless of her decisions, but it still makes me uncomfortable when she chooses to dress immodestly. It\u2019s not that I don\u2019t find her attractive, because she is. I feel uncomfortable because I believe that…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[365],"class_list":["post-5292","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-modesty"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":52344,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-a-sin-for-a-woman-to-dye-her-hair-colors-such-as-red-blue-or-green\/","url_meta":{"origin":5292,"position":0},"title":"Is it a sin for a woman to dye her hair colors such as red, blue, or green?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 8, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, Is it a sin for a woman to dye her hair from natural black to another color such as red, blue, green, etc? Answer: \"Your adornment must not be merely external -- braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19256,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-a-husband-have-a-say-in-what-his-wife-wears\/","url_meta":{"origin":5292,"position":1},"title":"Should a husband have a say in what his wife wears?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 29, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I read your response to someone asking about unmarried people touching and getting involved in foreplay. The response was very good, I think. Is there any real biblical evidence for women to cover their chests as the average guy does? Women seem to have less and less clothing on.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":32406,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/are-men-and-women-who-dress-immodestly-urged-toward-promiscuity\/","url_meta":{"origin":5292,"position":2},"title":"Are men and women who dress immodestly urged toward promiscuity?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 3, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Are men and women who dress immodestly urged toward promiscuity? Answer: Webster's Dictionary defines immodest as: not modest; not decorous; indecent; not shy or humble; bold; forward. Immodesty doesn't necessarily go hand in hand with promiscuity.\u00a0 It can lead to promiscuity,\u00a0but it is not a given.\u00a0 A person can\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42973,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/christlike-clothing\/","url_meta":{"origin":5292,"position":3},"title":"Christlike Clothing","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 8, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"by Matthew W. Bassford One of the longest modesty texts in the Bible never mentions the word once. It appears in Colossians 3:12-17, a passage about the virtues in which Christians should clothe themselves. They are the things that others should see when they look at us. To many Christians\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/dress-199x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":94663,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/flip-flops-short-shorts-and-worship\/","url_meta":{"origin":5292,"position":4},"title":"Flip-Flops, Short Shorts and Worship","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 18, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"by Charles Box Our dress in worship is not a \"fashion show.\" But, is it possible to become too casual, too indiscreet, or too revealing in our manner of dress when we gather for worship? Recently, we were visiting a Wednesday night church service, and near us sat a girl\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1960,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/was-i-not-dressed-up-enough-for-worship\/","url_meta":{"origin":5292,"position":5},"title":"Was I not dressed up enough for worship?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 9, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I read\u00a0what you wrote about Timothy 2:9. I go to church, but I am a person who does not wear make-up and the only jewelry I have is my wedding ring. I went to church in a pair of slacks that were black, dress shoes and a sweater. 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