{"id":52663,"date":"2018-02-15T20:28:00","date_gmt":"2018-02-16T02:28:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=52663"},"modified":"2022-08-27T20:31:25","modified_gmt":"2022-08-28T01:31:25","slug":"we-are-having-a-really-hard-time-not-having-sex-before-our-wedding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/we-are-having-a-really-hard-time-not-having-sex-before-our-wedding\/","title":{"rendered":"We are having a really hard time not having sex before our wedding"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>Hello,<\/p>\n<p>I have a question concerning sex before marriage. My fianc\u00e9 and I are getting married in about four months, and we are having a really hard time with not having sex.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s why we are struggling so much. We are so ready to commit fully to each other and bring our lives together as one. We don&#8217;t live together, we are not having sex, we have talked about our future\/our past\/our present, we are on the same page spiritually about God being the center of our lives, and we are financially learning how to be responsible. We are both in our 20s. He has finished college and has a steady salary job. He is already saving, budgeting, and investing. I am not quite done with college but will be done in the fall semester. We have financial plans to be completely debt free (except for the house) in two-three years after we get married. We have great relationships with both his side and my side of the family. We have a lot of the same values and goals in life. We want to be a God-fearing couple and raise children who know who God is.<\/p>\n<p>This is where we have the problem. We want to wait for marriage for sex, but the wedding is so far away, and we find ourselves really physically struggling. We are both depressed about the whole matter because we are both responsible and love the Lord.<\/p>\n<p>Please help. We don&#8217;t know what to do. We are ready to spend the rest of our lives together and we want to be intimate but are hindered by a date on a calendar.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>You have several options:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>If you are willing to have a smaller, simpler wedding, you can cancel your current plans and move the date up. It will likely cost you cancellation fees and I&#8217;m sure there will be family annoyed at you because it will change their travel plans.<\/li>\n<li>You can get legally married immediately and have your formal wedding when you originally planned. I&#8217;ve known several couples who have done this.<\/li>\n<li>You can tough it out like many other couples have done through the centuries.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>But as you noted, what isn&#8217;t an option is having sex before marriage. There are a number of ways to settle the matter without sinning.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Response:<\/h2>\n<p>Thank you very much for the response. Your feedback is very helpful. God bless!<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: Hello, I have a question concerning sex before marriage. My fianc\u00e9 and I are getting married in about four months, and we are having a really hard time with not having sex. Here&#8217;s why we are struggling so much. We are so ready to commit fully to each other and bring our lives together&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[662,1572,185],"class_list":["post-52663","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-engagement","tag-fornication","tag-temptation"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":30722,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/we-prayed-together-and-made-vows-to-god-but-our-wedding-is-not-until-next-year-are-we-committing-fornication-as-we-have-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":52663,"position":0},"title":"We prayed together and made vows to God, but our wedding is not until next year. Are we committing fornication as we have sex?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 23, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I would like to ask you a question: I have read\u00a0your responses\u00a0to other people. I\u00a0am in a relationship. Both of us are Christians and we love God. We prayed together and vowed to God about our lives for our marriage. We are preparing for our wedding next year. We\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":38391,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-we-save-our-relationship-without-having-sex-until-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":52663,"position":1},"title":"How do we save our relationship without having sex until marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 29, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello there! I recently came across your article about couples that have committed sexual sins before marriage and how they still worked out and still have room for hope. My loved one and I are wanting to get married. We plan on getting married but with going to college,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20833,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/it-is-getting-hard-not-to-have-sex-i-want-to-marry-my-boyfriend-but-i-dont-want-to-give-up-my-independence-can-we-get-married-so-we-can-have-sex-but-still-live-apart\/","url_meta":{"origin":52663,"position":2},"title":"It is getting hard not to have sex. I want to marry my boyfriend, but I don&#8217;t want to give up my independence. Can we get married so we can have sex, but still live apart?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 12, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Didn't people get married during or soon after puberty in Biblical times? It seems like it would be a lot easier to abstain from premarital sex if people were getting married as teenagers. In our society, people usually get married in their mid to late 20s, 10 or more\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5064,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/we-cant-afford-to-get-married-but-would-it-be-bad-to-have-sex-now\/","url_meta":{"origin":52663,"position":3},"title":"We can&#8217;t afford to get married, but would it be bad to have sex now?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 12, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello! My boyfriend and I have been dating for over five years, not necessarily because we wanted to wait this long, but because we don\u2019t have the money. I only recently finished college, and I didn\u2019t want to get married until I was done with school. Well, I\u2019ve been\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42518,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-tell-my-ex-boyfriend-how-i-hate-him-and-myself-for-having-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":52663,"position":4},"title":"Should I tell my ex-boyfriend how I hate him and myself for having sex?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I have a question. I have had sex with my ex-boyfriend, and I just can't get over it. I know that I have sinned, I asked God for forgiveness, and I know that God has forgiven me. However, every time I think of my ex-boyfriend, it is so\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":49992,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-feel-hopeless-because-i-had-sex-with-more-than-one-guy\/","url_meta":{"origin":52663,"position":5},"title":"I feel hopeless because I had sex with more than one guy","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 25, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good Morning, I've been having a really hard time dealing with my past and my relationship. My ex-boyfriend of several years and I broke up. I lost sight of the Lord and I sinned. I had sex with other people, and I am full of so much guilt and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52663","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=52663"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52663\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=52663"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=52663"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=52663"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}