A girl in our church had a baby not long ago but refused to acknowledge her sin and repent. She recently said she was at a party that she should not have gone to, and she was raped by two boys. None of us knew this before. So how are we, as Christians, to respond?<\/p>\n\t
If a girl was raped, then she did not sin. It makes me wonder if anyone actually sat down and talked with this girl about her problems, or whether people quickly made conclusions without enough information. If this was a case of rape, then I would agree with the girl that you don’t repent of a sin that you did not commit. I don’t know if she did commit a sin, but being stupid (going someplace you knew you should not have gone) is not a sin.<\/p>\n
There are a few things that need to happen:<\/p>\n
Never lose sight that the goal is to get the young mother and the child to heaven. It may be a long road, but it is easier if there are people willing to help her shoulder the burden. “Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ<\/em>” (Galatians 6:1-2).<\/p>\n\t What a mess. An elder’s wife talked to the girl’s mother and told her the girl needed to repent. The mother said she will not but made no mention of a rape occurring. Then a group of ladies had the shower for her and all the elder’s wives but one refrained from going. Still, nothing was said about rape. Then she came to church with the baby. It wasn’t until our preacher and his wife went to their house that it was told that she had gone to the wrong place and was raped. They were asked not to tell anyone but the elders. It was not until another elder’s wife and I encouraged our husbands that discipline needed to be done that we were told she had been raped, but that the family did not want it to be told. Seems like things were not handled well. None of us knew anything about the rape. We just knew that an unmarried girl had a baby out of wedlock and refused to repent. So, what else would we think?<\/p>\n\t Notice what happened: The girl’s mother was approached and not the girl. A judgment was already made that the girl sinned without first listening to the girl’s story (recall the accusations Job’s three friends made about him). I would suspect that the mother took offense and decided she wasn’t going to explain anything.<\/p>\n What needs to happen is the elders and their wives need to meet together to discuss what went wrong, how their actions led to gossiping, and how to better handle situations like this in the future. I suspect that one mistake was trying to make an issue private that was already publicly observable. But foremost is that gossip about this matter is spreading rapidly through the congregation and the only way to stop it is an open discussion about what actually did happen. This will require the elders to talk with the girl and her mother about what happened in regards to the gossip and let them know how the elders see it best to bring it to a halt. The mother and the girl may decide to come or they may rather have the elders speak for them. That will be their decision.<\/p>\n This is also a learning experience for the entire congregation. You don’t make assumptions based on second or third-hand information. “Every prudent man acts with knowledge, but a fool displays folly<\/em>” (Proverbs 13:16). What I’m gathering is that almost no one talked to the girl to find out what happened, so, while many were concerned, almost no one was concerned enough about the girl’s salvation to actually try to help her.<\/p>\n\t Your response to my question is very good, and I really appreciate all your suggestions. If this situation had been handled the way you suggested I believe everything would have been so much better. I know your response has been given with much forethought and consideration. I really appreciate all you have said. I have been very upset about all of this from the beginning. Thank you for taking the time to talk to me.<\/p>\n\t Even elders and their wives have to go through learning experiences.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: A girl in our church had a baby not long ago but refused to acknowledge her sin and repent. She recently said she was at a party that she should not have gone to, and she was raped by two boys. None of us knew this before. So how are we, as Christians, to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[163],"class_list":["post-52616","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-rape"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":94961,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-right-to-withdraw-from-a-young-woman-who-said-she-was-raped\/","url_meta":{"origin":52616,"position":0},"title":"Is it right to withdraw from a young woman who said she was raped?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 6, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear minister, A young sister, according to her, was raped, and this led to pregnancy. Her father noticed something unusual about his daughter and subsequently drew the attention of her mother, which led them to find out that she was pregnant, and they had her pregnancy aborted. This matter\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43924,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-daughter-was-raped-and-is-now-pregnant-should-i-have-the-baby-aborted\/","url_meta":{"origin":52616,"position":1},"title":"My daughter was raped and is now pregnant. Should I have the baby aborted?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 10, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My daughter was date raped and is now pregnant with her rapist's child.\u00a0 I don't know what to do because the Bible says abortion is wrong, but she is only 14.\u00a0 I am considering an abortion, but I don't know what to do seeing how it's sin. Please, I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7805,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-a-woman-who-was-raped-still-a-virgin\/","url_meta":{"origin":52616,"position":2},"title":"Is a woman, who was raped, still a virgin?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 14, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have a friend who was raped. She wants to know if she is still a virgin according to the Bible. Is she? Answer: Please think about the following question very carefully because it is a significant point: Is she interested in whether she is a virgin or whether\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23588,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/why-didnt-you-say-that-the-girl-who-was-living-with-her-boyfriend-could-be-forgiven-of-her-sins\/","url_meta":{"origin":52616,"position":3},"title":"Why didn’t you say that the girl who was living with her boyfriend could be forgiven of her sins?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 24, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I just read over\u00a0your response to a girl who lives with her boyfriend and she asked why you called it a sin. You gave her reasons, but then you listed reasons for her to consider. The second heading was \"It Can Keep You Out of Heaven.\"\u00a0 If you are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44588,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/im-interested-in-a-girl-but-she-is-not-a-virgin\/","url_meta":{"origin":52616,"position":4},"title":"I’m interested in a girl, but she is not a virgin","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 5, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I saw\u00a0one of your answers to a guy who had trouble coming to terms with the fact that his girlfriend is not a virgin. The truth is I have the exact same problem only this time she is not my girlfriend yet, but I am a virgin. I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":52560,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-should-be-done-about-a-girl-who-is-unmarried-pregnant-and-not-willing-to-repent\/","url_meta":{"origin":52616,"position":5},"title":"What should be done about a girl who is unmarried, pregnant, and not willing to repent?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: A college girl in our congregation, whose father is a deacon, became pregnant and is not married. She says she will not go forward and repent or make any statement of being sorry for her sin. I am an elder's wife and have said to the other elders' wives\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52616","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=52616"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52616\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=52616"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=52616"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=52616"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Question:<\/h2>\n
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