Good morning! I’m writing you today because I have a question. My father-in-law is a preacher at a church of Christ here. I’ve known him for over 5 years now. I am really close to my sister-in-law and mother-in-law so they have told me some things that concern me and I don’t know what to do with them.<\/p>\n
My father-in-law has clearly shown signs of severe anger issues. He has put his hands on all of his kids, and also his wife, giving her a busted lip recently. I should add that my mother-in-law is handicapped. She can’t do much for herself. He has also yelled at his daughter multiple times over simple things like her texting\/talking to boys (she’s an adult).<\/p>\n
When I’ve previously brought this information up to my husband, he denies it or tells me it’s none of my business, that it’s his father’s household, and I need to mind my business. But I feel like it is utterly wrong of him and no one in that house ever tells him he is wrong. I think that that is also wrong to not say anything. Anytime I’ve slightly disagreed with him about anything, we end up in a screaming match so I would never try talking to him about this myself, nor do I know if it’s appropriate for me to do so.<\/p>\n
I don’t know what to do or how to move forward. I could really use your advice! I hope to hear from you soon!<\/p>\n\t
Just because a person claims to be a preacher, it doesn’t mean he is a good man. Just because a person claims to be a Christian, it doesn’t mean he is living a Christian life.<\/p>\n
The difficulty is the evidence. The family is covering up the man’s sins. Thus, even though you can turn in a report against the man, if no one verifies the report, the police won’t be able to do much about the problem.<\/p>\n
If this is a large enough congregation to have elders, you can turn the matter over to the elders. If there are multiple men, you could ask one or two of the independent men to go with you to talk to your father-in-law. The aim is to establish awareness that the problem exists so that something can be done about it. What is most likely to happen is that the family will turn against you to protect the man.<\/p>\n
What won’t work is having a screaming match with a man who is unable to control his rage. Things will quickly escalate out of control (Proverbs 29:22; 22:24-25).<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: Good morning! I’m writing you today because I have a question. My father-in-law is a preacher at a church of Christ here. I’ve known him for over 5 years now. I am really close to my sister-in-law and mother-in-law so they have told me some things that concern me and I don’t know what…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[1105],"class_list":["post-51502","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-abuse"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":32053,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-right-that-a-mother-doesnt-want-the-father-involved-in-their-childs-life\/","url_meta":{"origin":51502,"position":0},"title":"Is it right that a mother doesn’t want the father involved in their child’s life?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 5, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good evening, I have a friend who had sex outside of marriage and she had a child out of it. She feels\u00a0very strongly about not wanting the father to be in the child's life at all because he's not paying child support, he's not coming to visit his son\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3542,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-honoring-your-mother-and-father-mean-following-their-religious-beliefs\/","url_meta":{"origin":51502,"position":1},"title":"Does “honoring your mother and father” mean following their religious beliefs?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 31, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I was just reading\u00a0the essay on your website about \"honoring your father and mother\". I have been doing some research on the meaning of the word \"honor\", and I was wondering if you could answer a question for me, or just give me your opinion? Let's say that a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":48139,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/commands-in-conflict\/","url_meta":{"origin":51502,"position":2},"title":"Commands in Conflict","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 4, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"by Andrew Hamilton \"He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":51898,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-a-single-person-who-commits-adultery-prevented-from-getting-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":51502,"position":3},"title":"Is a single person who commits adultery prevented from getting married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 12, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: There is much discussion and teaching within the church about divorce, adultery, and remarriage, but something I've never heard discussed is what about the person who commits adultery, but who wasn't married? The Bible is clear that a spouse who commits adultery with someone else is not eligible to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42599,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-adultery-to-marry-a-guy-who-has-a-child-but-was-never-married\/","url_meta":{"origin":51502,"position":4},"title":"Is it adultery to marry a guy who has a child but was never married?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 20, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, I am talking to a guy who has never been married but is a single father, having a child from a previous relationship. Would it be considered the sin of adultery if I were to ever marry him? I ask because the Scriptures talk about two joining together\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24402,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/why-do-we-cite-matthew-regarding-divorce-since-jesus-lived-under-the-old-law\/","url_meta":{"origin":51502,"position":5},"title":"Why do we cite Matthew regarding divorce since Jesus lived under the Old Law?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 29, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: As I understand Matthew 19:9 and Matthew 5:32 concerning divorce, Jesus is answering the Pharisees (Jews)\u00a0as they were tempting him on this question. His answer was the same as the law that they were under (except for fornication).\u00a0Such as in the case that Joseph thought Mary was in. Why\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51502","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=51502"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51502\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=51502"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=51502"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=51502"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}