{"id":51297,"date":"2017-09-05T19:32:00","date_gmt":"2017-09-06T00:32:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=51297"},"modified":"2022-08-07T19:37:02","modified_gmt":"2022-08-08T00:37:02","slug":"ive-had-sex-twice-with-a-co-worker-how-do-i-stop-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/ive-had-sex-twice-with-a-co-worker-how-do-i-stop-this\/","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;ve had sex twice with a co-worker. How do I stop this?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>Hello,<\/p>\n<p>I am in deep need of your advice. I am in my early twenties. I&#8217;ve been seeing a lady in my department, and we&#8217;ve been having a secret affair both outside and sometimes at work when we are alone. Over these last few months we&#8217;ve had sex &#8212; today makes the second time.<\/p>\n<p>I invited her over to discuss the ungodly feelings and unclean activities we&#8217;ve been having. In light of this, we concluded and agreed we were going to make sure it doesn&#8217;t happen again. But while she was leaving, we looked at each other and it unknowingly resulted in our having sex again. I immediately stopped at a point, sought her forgiveness, and let her know that our commitment to God&#8217;s work would simply go down the drain if this act continued. God, Himself would not be happy with either of us again.<\/p>\n<p>My challenge now seems to be controlling my feelings and thoughts, not yielding to the things of the flesh again. I&#8217;ve repented of my ways with her in the earlier months, but I haven&#8217;t been able to talk to anyone about it. I&#8217;ve tried to avoid her, but we have been alone together in the department often. My commitment to the God and the church I&#8217;m attending is very essential to me and I believe I am fulfilled. This is the major environment I can use my talents and skills.<\/p>\n<p>Please, what can I do? Should I leave the church? What and how do I repent and start living a godly life again? Your recommendation is greatly appreciated. Please help me.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>Men typically think of themselves as the aggressors in sex, so when confronted with a woman actively trying to get their pants off, they think that the problem is totally their fault. You stated that you &#8220;unknowingly &#8230; had sex again.&#8221; I would argue that one of you knew perfectly well what she was doing. It was only unknowing to you because it wasn&#8217;t your intention. There are several passages in Proverbs dealing with this type of woman, but for now, I want you to read: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/bible-studies\/proverbs-practical-advice-on-life\/the-seductive-path\/\">The Seductive Path<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>The best answer to this problem is to get away from her. &#8220;<em>Now then, my sons, listen to me and do not depart from the words of my mouth.\u00a0 Keep your way far from her and do not go near the door of her house<\/em>&#8221; (Proverbs 5:7-8). This is not to say that you don&#8217;t have responsibility for these sins &#8212; you do. But when you know you have a weakness, the best solution is to avoid it completely. You set yourself up for failure when you invited her to come over to talk, knowing that the two of you would be alone.<\/p>\n<p>Therefore, you are correct. You need to find a better church and another job immediately so you no longer run into her. Godliness requires being sober-minded (I Thessalonians 5:4-8). You cannot ignore the warnings of danger and think the danger will ignore you. You are a young man with a strong sex drive, so you cannot suppose that you can be alone with women and always behave as a Christian ought to behave.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Response:<\/h2>\n<p>Thank you, sir. God bless you abundantly.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: Hello, I am in deep need of your advice. I am in my early twenties. I&#8217;ve been seeing a lady in my department, and we&#8217;ve been having a secret affair both outside and sometimes at work when we are alone. Over these last few months we&#8217;ve had sex &#8212; today makes the second time.&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[1572],"class_list":["post-51297","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":33312,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-messed-up-and-had-sex-with-my-girlfriend-since-then-she-has-been-having-sex-with-several-guys-repeatedly-i-forgive-her-but-how-can-i-help-her\/","url_meta":{"origin":51297,"position":0},"title":"I messed up and had sex with my girlfriend. Since then she has been having sex with several guys repeatedly. I forgive her, but how can I help her?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 20, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi. I've read some of your answers and you clearly seem to be someone with much wisdom and knowledge of the word. That's why I'm trusting you with this. I've been in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend for a little over a year now and we've visited each\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":86868,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-should-a-husband-do-when-his-wife-isnt-available-for-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":51297,"position":1},"title":"What should a husband do when his wife isn&#8217;t available for sex?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 28, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello Jeffery, My wife and I have now been married for over a year, and it has been wonderful. We have, of course, already faced life's challenges, but I genuinely feel that we have overcome them only by the grace of God and the strength that the Lord gives\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Preparation for a Lifetime&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Preparation for a Lifetime","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/preparation\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44013,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/ive-become-pregnant-by-a-man-ive-been-dating-for-two-years-but-he-wont-leave-his-other-girlfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":51297,"position":2},"title":"I&#8217;ve become pregnant by a man I&#8217;ve been dating for two years, but he won&#8217;t leave his other girlfriend","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 19, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am a young lady, aged 24 years. I have been dating a man for two years now. When we first met he told me he had a girlfriend and a child, and that he wasn't happy where he was. We continued with our friendship up until it turned\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":51228,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-marry-someone-who-has-not-repented-of-the-sins-we-committed\/","url_meta":{"origin":51297,"position":3},"title":"Should I marry someone who has not repented of the sins we committed?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Is it okay to marry someone who has not fully given in to salvation and has not repented for the fornication we've done in the past? I have been with him for over ten years. We've had several breakups but we still made up. I decided to give my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34479,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-fell-into-fornication-ive-broken-up-with-her-but-should-i-tell-her-why\/","url_meta":{"origin":51297,"position":4},"title":"I fell into fornication. I&#8217;ve broken up with her, but should I tell her why?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 23, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi Sir, I have come across your site reading your\u00a0articles on courtship and relationship matters while searching for articles on how to prepare myself for a godly relationship in the future. And I thank God for your sound advice and guidelines in how we should live our lives as\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34545,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-we-break-up-because-we-havent-been-able-to-restrain-ourselves\/","url_meta":{"origin":51297,"position":5},"title":"Should we break up because we haven&#8217;t been able to restrain ourselves?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 30, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi, My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 10 months. We are both sophomores at a Christian university and met here at the beginning of our freshman year. In our relationship though, we have been having trouble with sexual sin. We have never \"gone all the way\"\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51297","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=51297"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51297\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=51297"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=51297"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=51297"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}