I have a lot of questions. My former boyfriend lived in sin for four years. I was not saved yet, but he was. He called it off because he could no longer live in sin, and he has to get right in his heart and mind and with God. I am here 100% for him because I love him. He moved out and is seeking answers from God. I fully understand why he needs to, as well as why we need to build our foundation through God. I know you can’t tell the future by any means, but if he finds what he is searching for, as well as forgiveness, can we make this work? I have been reading the Bible every day and have given my life to God. \u00a0How can I help him through this terrible time? How do I grow as a Christian?<\/p>\n\t
I try to pay attention to what people don’t say when they write, whether it is intentional or accidental because the critical elements left out often point to the source of the problems. What jumped out at me in your note is your mention that your boyfriend lived in sin for four years, but you did not include yourself as a participant in sin. At first, I considered it accidental, but all the way through I found no hint that you considered the fornication you committed to be wrong and that is troubling. In fact, everything is about his problems. You want to help him, but I keep wondering: What about you?<\/p>\n
If you desire to grow as a Christian, then you need to recognize the problem of sin.<\/p>\n
“For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another! I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit<\/em>” (Galatians 5:13-25).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I can’t answer what he might decide. Clearly, he concluded that he could not live righteous while being your boyfriend and that should be a disturbing thought. Friends, and especially spouses, should be people who make you a better person. Love “does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth<\/em>” (I Corinthians 13:6). I suspect fixing this issue will go a long way to repairing the separation.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I have a lot of questions. My former boyfriend lived in sin for four years. I was not saved yet, but he was. He called it off because he could no longer live in sin, and he has to get right in his heart and mind and with God. I am here 100% for…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,1572],"class_list":["post-50968","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":45993,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-can-a-christian-sin-if-we-are-to-be-holy-like-god\/","url_meta":{"origin":50968,"position":0},"title":"How can a Christian sin if we are to be holy like God?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 16, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: The Bible tells us that God commands us to be holy as He is holy. If we were allowed to sin and still make it into heaven, there would be no point in having heaven or hell. Why would \"be holy as I am holy\" even be in the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":53644,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-a-christian-who-teaches-error-still-a-brother-in-christ\/","url_meta":{"origin":50968,"position":1},"title":"Is a Christian who teaches error still a brother in Christ?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 8, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: A big fire started after our morning services this morning! One of our members here adamantly disagreed with me when I mentioned that when a brother sins by teaching doctrinal error, he must repent, and if he refuses to repent he is \"a brother in error.\" Until he does\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24418,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-the-idea-that-there-is-no-fear-in-love-applies-to-all-loving-relationships\/","url_meta":{"origin":50968,"position":2},"title":"Does the idea that there is no fear in love applies to all loving relationships?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 1, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I want to learn what the verse I John 4:18 is all about. Does this speak of our love for God or for our brothers and sisters? Or can this also apply to a relationship between lovers? My friend quoted this verse to me saying that when you are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43285,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-dont-know-if-my-feelings-were-genuine-when-i-received-christ\/","url_meta":{"origin":50968,"position":3},"title":"I don’t know if my feelings were genuine when I received Christ","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 21, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: You may not know me, but I have seen what you wrote and you seem wise. I ask that you give me a genuine answer. Here goes pouring out my heart's doubts: I am not sure that I have received Christ. I don't know if my feeling was genuine\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39441,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/when-a-christian-sins-does-he-stop-being-a-christian\/","url_meta":{"origin":50968,"position":4},"title":"When a Christian sins, does he stop being a Christian?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 25, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: When a Christian sins, are they automatically rejected by God? Does this mean they are no longer a Christian\u00a0until\u00a0they repent? Answer: Men put up a barrier between themselves and God with their sins. \"Behold, the LORD'S hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy, that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":69478,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-god-all-loving\/","url_meta":{"origin":50968,"position":5},"title":"Is God All Loving?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 28, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Is God all loving? This might be a strange question for a new Christian, but this is legitimately important. The reason I questioned this is because of God saying that these people are abominations, mainly (Leviticus 18:22) and (Deuteronomy 22:5). 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