{"id":50669,"date":"2017-07-05T21:17:00","date_gmt":"2017-07-06T02:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=50669"},"modified":"2025-04-04T09:56:50","modified_gmt":"2025-04-04T14:56:50","slug":"is-it-a-sin-to-continue-having-sex-until-we-get-married","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-a-sin-to-continue-having-sex-until-we-get-married\/","title":{"rendered":"Is it a sin to continue having sex until we get married?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>I was researching the forms of fornication and how to deal with my present life. I am a 25-year-old lady with two kids from one man, but we aren&#8217;t married yet. Because I sinned, it has drawn me away from God, and I feel bad for all the wrong mistakes I have made in my life. My fiance and I are living in the same house, which leads us to have sex repeatedly. I called him &#8220;fiance&#8221; because we did have an introduction party in my country where the two families meet and make their intentions known to each other. He sees it as more or less like a marriage, but we haven&#8217;t done the marriage. He wants me to be acting like a wife (sex, cooking, and taking care of the home).<\/p>\n<p>I want to give my life totally to God and be born again, but I feel I can&#8217;t fulfill all forms of righteousness because I stay in the house with a man with whom I have sex. I have stopped having sex with him lately because of my decision, which he is not cool with.<\/p>\n<p>My questions are: Is it a sin to keep having sex with him until we get married since we both have kids for each other? Is it right for me to stay under the same roof with him if he is not cool with my decision to stay celibate? Or can I stay with him regardless of how he treats me if I stand on my decision to be celibate and hope prayer can change him to be who I want him to be?<\/p>\n<p>I will greatly appreciate your feedback.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>God is not going to take a person&#8217;s free will away from him. Therefore, praying that God change him would be going against God&#8217;s will. Pray that he is given an opportunity to change. Pray that you have the wisdom to answer his concerns.<\/p>\n<p>As you noted, you and this man are not married. Intentions were announced, but not followed through upon. By having sex, you are committing fornication. &#8220;<em>Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge<\/em>&#8221; (Hebrews 13:4). Since you have two children with this man, I&#8217;m assuming you have been in this situation for several years and nothing has changed. Likely nothing will change. After all, as things stand, he has everything he wants without a commitment on his part. Going through with the marriage becomes an expense and a bother. Of course, he isn&#8217;t happy that you stopped having sex with him. You undermined his pretense that he has a real family.<\/p>\n<p>Living with a man you are not married to and who thinks it is his right to have you in his bed is not going to work. He will be constantly trying to seduce you.<\/p>\n<p>Make arrangements to move out until he decides to marry you. Make it clear that you want him as a husband and not as a live-in boyfriend. Then he has to make up his mind, is he going to honor the commitment he made and marry you or tell the world he was lying the whole time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: I was researching the forms of fornication and how to deal with my present life. I am a 25-year-old lady with two kids from one man, but we aren&#8217;t married yet. Because I sinned, it has drawn me away from God, and I feel bad for all the wrong mistakes I have made in&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[1711,1572,655],"class_list":["post-50669","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-cohabitation","tag-fornication","tag-living-together"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":26761,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-want-to-live-righteously-but-im-living-with-my-fiance-what-should-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":50669,"position":0},"title":"I want to live righteously, but I&#8217;m living with my fiance. What should I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 21, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been feeling guilty lately, I heard about\u00a0fornication. I live with my fiance of five years and we have a child together. I've given myself completely to God and have been doing things right. But I feel something is not right. My fiance and I decided to solve\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44654,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-my-fiance-doesnt-repent-of-his-past-fornication-does-this-mean-ill-become-a-fornicator-if-i-marry-him\/","url_meta":{"origin":50669,"position":1},"title":"If my fiance doesn&#8217;t repent of his past fornication, does this mean I&#8217;ll become a fornicator if I marry him?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 11, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, First, I want to thank you for caring and taking the time to answer questions. My question is kind of half answered and also several in one. My fianc\u00e9 and I are divided on the issue of premarital sex. We have never done it, nor have I ever\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37430,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-two-people-agree-to-be-exclusive-and-committed-before-having-sex-are-they-bound-together-for-life\/","url_meta":{"origin":50669,"position":2},"title":"If two people agree to be exclusive and committed before having sex, are they bound together for life?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 25, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Is my ex married to the girl he is dating? I still love him and share a child with him. He admitted to having sexual relations with a girl. She said, before having sex with him, that she didn't want to have sex unless they were exclusive and committed.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44718,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-rededicated-my-life-after-committing-fornication-will-god-reject-me-if-we-have-sex-again-just-before-our-marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":50669,"position":3},"title":"I rededicated my life after committing fornication. Will God reject me if we have sex again just before our marriage?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 19, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Sir, I was a backslider for about two years. While in that state I was ready to marry, but I didn't have any girl to marry. Then I was introduced to a girl by my sister. She is my sister's friend and they work in the same company. We\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24552,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-my-fiance-a-real-christian\/","url_meta":{"origin":50669,"position":4},"title":"Is my fiance a real Christian?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 17, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I've been dating for a year, and now I'm engaged, but it still will take two years for us to marry. My fiance and I have strong sexual temptations, it seems like I have a lot more control than him. Sometimes it scares me because he seems to want\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16671,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-boyfriend-doesnt-want-to-get-married-yet-because-hell-be-dropped-from-his-dads-insurance-what-should-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":50669,"position":5},"title":"My boyfriend doesn&#8217;t want to get married yet because he&#8217;ll be dropped from his dad&#8217;s insurance. What should I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 22, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Ok, my fiance and I have been living together for almost six months now. We are not married. For a while I let myself get away from God and I didn't care if we were living together unmarried. I'm trying to get closer to God and receive forgiveness for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50669","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=50669"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50669\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=50669"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=50669"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=50669"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}