{"id":50602,"date":"2017-06-20T19:32:00","date_gmt":"2017-06-21T00:32:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=50602"},"modified":"2022-07-23T19:35:35","modified_gmt":"2022-07-24T00:35:35","slug":"if-we-cant-get-married-we-will-commit-suicide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-we-cant-get-married-we-will-commit-suicide\/","title":{"rendered":"If we can&#8217;t get married, we will commit suicide"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>My age is 25 years old. I love a woman. She has two boys. We both are ready to get married, but she has not been separated from her husband. She is drinking alcohol every day and at home. Even when she had a baby in her womb, her family had killed them. I cannot see this. I want to give happiness to those who are ready to keep two boys, but if you are willing to marry, then please give me the right advice; otherwise, we will both commit suicide.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>I was not able to understand your note. You mentioned suicide, but that is never a solution to any problem. You can&#8217;t change things when you are dead. &#8220;<em>But for him who is joined to all the living there is hope, for a living dog is better than a dead lion<\/em>&#8221; (Ecclesiastes 9:4).<\/p>\n<p>These are the facts I gathered from your note:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You want to marry a woman who already has two boys in her current marriage<\/li>\n<li>She is still living with her husband, having neither separated from him nor divorced him.<\/li>\n<li>She is an alcoholic, drinking daily (though I think you meant to say her husband is an alcoholic).<\/li>\n<li>She has had other children, but they were aborted due to pressure from her family.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Now with these facts, you and she killing yourselves does nothing for the boys. They will still belong to their father. If he dies, they will go to the nearest relative. This does not mean their lives will be better. More likely it will be worse knowing that their mother killed herself over a man she was committing adultery with.<\/p>\n<p>She is not able to marry you because of her adultery with you. &#8220;<em>Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery<\/em>&#8221; (Luke 16:18).&nbsp; There is only one exception, and that only comes into play if she divorced her husband because he was committing adultery (Matthew 19:9). That is not what is happening in this case.<\/p>\n<p>You cannot solve this woman&#8217;s problems. You cannot make her life better by having sex with her. You cannot give her children a good home by being the man she commits adultery with. The fact that you are considering suicide shows that you are not thinking clearly, since that route also creates far more problems for the ones you are imagining you would be helping.<\/p>\n<p>If I understood the situation clearly, my advice is that you leave this woman immediately. She is manipulating your emotions and causing you not to think clearly. She is doing so for selfish reasons. I know you think you love her and that she loves you, but what you are describing is not love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: My age is 25 years old. I love a woman. She has two boys. We both are ready to get married, but she has not been separated from her husband. She is drinking alcohol every day and at home. Even when she had a baby in her womb, her family had killed them. I&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[66,39],"class_list":["post-50602","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-adultery","tag-suicide"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":34264,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-girlfriend-committed-suicide-when-i-told-her-i-would-be-marrying-the-girl-my-family-chose-for-me-i-feel-so-empty\/","url_meta":{"origin":50602,"position":0},"title":"My girlfriend committed suicide when I told her I would be marrying the girl my family chose for me. I feel so empty","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 28, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear sir, My girlfriend committed suicide one and a half years back. We had a relationship of five years. Both of us loved each other badly, and she got pregnant twice and had an abortion as I told her to do this. Due to my family pressure, I refused\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41998,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-my-friend-marry-a-girl-who-flirts-with-other-men\/","url_meta":{"origin":50602,"position":1},"title":"Should my friend marry a girl who flirts with other men?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 27, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Minister, I really appreciate your website and the time you put in to answer all these questions. I have a friend who shared this dilemma with me. I wanted to get your opinion about it. My friend is in a long-distance relationship with this girl who is a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3985,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-a-person-doesnt-want-to-live-why-is-suicide-wrong\/","url_meta":{"origin":50602,"position":2},"title":"If a person doesn&#8217;t want to live, why is suicide wrong?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 16, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My friend took her own life six years ago when we were both 17. She left me a note that said, \"I have so many things I want to tell you, but I don't know how to say. If we can meet each other in this world again, I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":45390,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/did-god-cause-saul-to-commit-suicide\/","url_meta":{"origin":50602,"position":3},"title":"Did God cause Saul to commit suicide?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 29, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: There are two accounts of Saul's death in the Old Testament. Both say he committed suicide (I Samuel 31:4-5 and I Chronicles 10:14) but the latter one also says that: \"the LORD killed Saul because ...\" Why the difference? Answer: \"So Saul died for his unfaithfulness which he had\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":93335,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/suicide-is-a-very-complicated-issue\/","url_meta":{"origin":50602,"position":4},"title":"Suicide Is a Very Complicated Issue","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 20, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"by Kevin Rutherford Suicide is a very complicated issue. It is one that we cannot be flippant about and careless with. This discussion should always be accompanied by caution, compassion, and care. If anyone reading this article has come to such a condition that you have had thoughts of suicide,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Article&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":83941,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/did-samson-commit-suicide\/","url_meta":{"origin":50602,"position":5},"title":"Did Samson commit suicide?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 1, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: The following is taken from a long letter that mostly complains that a response to a question about suicide was not kind enough. The issues raised were already addressed in \"I believe your article on suicide is unfair.\" The author of this complaint did read the answer, but it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50602","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=50602"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50602\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=50602"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=50602"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=50602"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}