{"id":50395,"date":"2017-04-22T19:36:00","date_gmt":"2017-04-23T00:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=50395"},"modified":"2022-07-22T19:39:57","modified_gmt":"2022-07-23T00:39:57","slug":"i-dont-want-to-but-i-keep-committing-fornication-with-a-woman-i-dont-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-dont-want-to-but-i-keep-committing-fornication-with-a-woman-i-dont-love\/","title":{"rendered":"I don’t want to, but I keep committing fornication with a woman I don’t love"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

Hello minister,<\/p>\n

Please, I need your urgent intervention. I have been involved in sexual intercourse with a lady I don’t intend to marry. I have a fiancee whom I am patiently waiting to marry after school. We only see each other once a year. Any time we are together, we always restrain ourselves from fornication. I have been flirting with this woman. Eventually, I told her I was no longer interested and I asked God for forgiveness. But any time she comes to visit me unannounced, I found myself sexually arouse, and we end up having sex. I have tried very hard to get her out of my life. I keep asking God for forgiveness, but I still commit the same sin. I am tired of all this. I see myself as not being faithful to God and my fiancee. What can I do to get her out of my life permanently without quarrels or problems between us? I don’t want to do this again. I believe that I have been deprived of God’s blessing as a result of these acts. My greatest weakness is sexual things.<\/p>\n

Please help me with Bible passages and prayers that will make God forgive me and restore His blessings back to me. I am ready to turn a new leaf. I am ready to be more faithful to God and my fiancee. Please note that I am a Christian.<\/p>\n

Please help. Thanks.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

“The mouth of an immoral woman is a deep pit; he who is abhorred by the LORD will fall there<\/em>” (Proverbs 22:14).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

By calling an immoral woman a deep pit, the writer is referring to a trap that you use to hunt large animals. A deep pit is easy to fall into, but it is hard to get back out of it without help. This woman has caught you. It is easy to shed clothing and have sex when the other person is encouraging you to do so.<\/p>\n

The reason you haven’t done this with your fiancee is that you don’t see her often and she doesn’t try to get you aroused and your pants off. In other words, I don’t think your restraint is due to you.<\/p>\n

I disagree when you say you’ve done everything to get this immoral woman out of your life. You have two things working against you: you like sex and you don’t want to hurt this woman’s feelings. Meanwhile, she uses you for her pleasure and you willingly go along with it. Regarding the immoral woman, Solomon said, “Remove your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house<\/em>” (Proverbs 5:8). Regarding wickedness in general, including sexual immorality, he said, “Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of evil. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn away from it and pass on. For they do not sleep unless they have done evil; and their sleep is taken away unless they make someone fall<\/em>” (Proverbs 4:14-16). You are trying to be nice to a woman who is determined to get you aroused. It can’t be done. Cut off all connection to this woman. Do not allow her to enter your house again. You don’t have to explain yourself or give her excuses.<\/p>\n

The fact that you must face is that you are responsible for your choices. You are in sin because you chose to be, and you will only leave when you make the choice that God is more important than sex. You ask about some way to make God forgive you. No man can make God do anything. You have to submit to what God commands of you. “But if a wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed, keeps all My statutes, and does what is lawful and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. None of the transgressions which he has committed shall be remembered against him; because of the righteousness which he has done, he shall live. “Do I have any pleasure at all that the wicked should die?” says the Lord GOD, “and not that he should turn from his ways and live?” <\/em>” (Ezekiel 18:21-23). Whether you stop having sex with this woman is your choice, no one, including God, is going to make you behave. You have to choose to love God. Only then is forgiveness available. “I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish<\/em>” (Luke 13:3).<\/p>\n

You call yourself a Christian, but, as you noted, you are not faithful. As things currently stand, you will not make it to heaven. “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God<\/em>” (I Corinthians 6:9-10). The only way out is to make a radical change in your life.<\/p>\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

Hello sir,<\/p>\n

Thanks for your response. Everything you said is exactly what I am facing. May the grace and anointing of God never depart from you in Jesus’ name.<\/p>\n

I have told her very clearly that I will have nothing more to do with her ever again. No more relationships. I am ready to do that which God has commanded. I have asked God for forgiveness and hope He has forgiven me. I will flee or keep silent when discussions about sexual things are made. I am much more careful about sin. I want God to have confidence in me. All I need is God’s mercy. Please pray for me in your prayers. I would appreciate your materials if any that will help me grow spiritually and live above sin.<\/p>\n

Thanks and God bless.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

Since I don’t know exactly what you desire to learn, I would suggest browsing La Vista’s website for things to study. You might want to start with Lies Pornography Tells Men<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: Hello minister, Please, I need your urgent intervention. I have been involved in sexual intercourse with a lady I don’t intend to marry. I have a fiancee whom I am patiently waiting to marry after school. We only see each other once a year. Any time we are together, we always restrain ourselves from…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[1572],"class_list":["post-50395","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":38070,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-return-to-god-after-committing-fornication\/","url_meta":{"origin":50395,"position":0},"title":"How do I return to God after committing fornication?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 21, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good morning, Thanks for all you do for singles all over the world -- taking questions and giving wisdom-filled answers. God will keep blessing you. I have a huge problem. I'm a leader in my local assembly, and I've been engaging in the sin of fornication with my wife-to-be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":51315,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-need-to-tell-my-fiancee-that-ive-been-having-sex-with-other-women-during-our-engagement\/","url_meta":{"origin":50395,"position":1},"title":"Do I need to tell my fianc\u00e9e that I’ve been having sex with other women during our engagement?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 8, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been into several relationships in the past, but none is as great as the one I am currently in. The problem is that I have not been able to maintain sexual purity for the past several years after I became sexually active. Currently, I am nearly 30\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43846,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-being-selfish-and-covetous-in-marrying-a-woman-who-had-a-child-by-another-man\/","url_meta":{"origin":50395,"position":2},"title":"Am I being selfish and covetous in marrying a woman who had a child by another man?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 6, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Greetings, I met my fianc\u00e9e last year and we became friends. We go to the same church. Later we decided to pray and ask God if we should get married and we did get confirmation. So we went to our pastor and told him of our decision. 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During that period I met a lady and I developed feelings for her but I didn't\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44817,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-marry-the-woman-my-brother-once-slept-with\/","url_meta":{"origin":50395,"position":4},"title":"Should I marry the woman my brother once slept with?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 4, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: First of all may God bless you for this site. I committed fornication for the first time when I was at the age of 21 years. Since then I have not been able to control myself from fornication. I always have regretted doing it. I want to stop it,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34506,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-fiancee-is-having-trouble-forgiving-me-for-my-past-sexual-sins\/","url_meta":{"origin":50395,"position":5},"title":"My fiancee is having trouble forgiving me for my past sexual sins","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 27, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am having an issue with my engagement. Before I met my fiancee I was not a Christian. I had had sex with multiple partners. My fiancee, at times, has trouble forgiving me for these past sins. What can I do to help her? 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