{"id":50153,"date":"2017-03-10T19:56:00","date_gmt":"2017-03-11T01:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=50153"},"modified":"2022-07-18T20:21:23","modified_gmt":"2022-07-19T01:21:23","slug":"i-keep-having-sex-because-im-looking-for-love-and-acceptance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-keep-having-sex-because-im-looking-for-love-and-acceptance\/","title":{"rendered":"I keep having sex because I’m looking for love and acceptance"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

I am a mother of a teenage boy. I was traditionally married to his late father who died over a decade ago.<\/p>\n

I always find myself falling into the same sin: I cannot resist sex. I am HIV positive, and I always tell that to my partner. I am a Christian and have tried to fight this sin on my own and every time I fail. The man I just had sex with for the second time now has said nothing about marriage. He says he is single and that I should not ask many questions. He knows more about me than I about him. We meet at my home. I am not comfortable with what I am doing. After the first sexual encounter, I convinced myself that I hated him and that we will never do it again, but a few weeks later I fell into the same sin. I have been truthful to myself: I like this man because he accepts me as I am and doesn’t make a fuss about my HIV status, unlike the men before, but I do not want to keep having sex with him because I know full well as a Christian I shouldn’t be doing it.<\/p>\n

Am I cursed? I never knew my biological father; hence I succumb to any man who shows interest in me. I feel love. I think it’s a delusion of fatherly love.<\/p>\n

My son is in boarding school so I am lonely and yearn for someone to accept me. I wish to get married one day but because of my HIV status, I always short-change my worth. I have never had sex for money but just to fulfill my lustful flesh.<\/p>\n

Can this ever end? I let myself be used, and it breaks my heart.<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

I need to be blunt: You are a fornicator pretending to be a Christian while living a life that will send you to hell. “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God<\/em>” (I Corinthians 6:9-10). This does not have to be.<\/p>\n

You are totally wrong when you claim that you cannot stop yourself. “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it” (I Corinthians 10:13). There is always a way that doesn’t involve sin — God guarantees it. God also makes sure that you are able to say “no” to any sin. The only reason you are sinning is because of your own free choice.<\/p>\n

I believe you pinpointed the reason. You wrongly think that a man having sex with you means that he accepts and loves you. His act of sex is mere selfishness, just as you are using him for your own selfish reasons. “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body<\/em>” (I Corinthians 6:18). Notice that every man doesn’t stay long. You never really get what you are looking for, but you lie to yourself that if you keep doing the same thing, eventually you’ll get one to stay.<\/p>\n

But it all comes down to the fact that you are not putting God first in your life. Having sex is not worth eternity in hell. “For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it<\/em>” (Matthew 19:12).<\/p>\n\t

Question:<\/h2>\n

Thank you for that honest response. I don’t want to go to hell. I am purposing now not to fall to the same sin again because already I feel like I am living in hell. Already this has drastically affected my prayer life. My question is: Is there a chance for me to make things right with God?<\/p>\n\t

Answer:<\/h2>\n

See:\u00a0Are You Unforgivable?<\/a><\/p>\n\t

Response:<\/h2>\n

Wow, that’s enlightening! I am truly and honestly purposing to repent. Thank you for the word.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: I am a mother of a teenage boy. I was traditionally married to his late father who died over a decade ago. I always find myself falling into the same sin: I cannot resist sex. I am HIV positive, and I always tell that to my partner. I am a Christian and have tried…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[1572],"class_list":["post-50153","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":40883,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-committed-fornication-but-i-am-determined-not-to-do-so-again-why-do-i-not-feel-forgiven\/","url_meta":{"origin":50153,"position":0},"title":"I committed fornication, but I am determined not to do so again. Why do I not feel forgiven?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 9, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I read your answer to a lady on God forgiving fornication. My story is similar to hers, but I lost my virginity. My parents are not the strong Christian type, but I had high standards for myself. I never had a boyfriend until I was 21 years old. My\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":42518,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/should-i-tell-my-ex-boyfriend-how-i-hate-him-and-myself-for-having-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":50153,"position":1},"title":"Should I tell my ex-boyfriend how I hate him and myself for having sex?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I have a question. I have had sex with my ex-boyfriend, and I just can't get over it. I know that I have sinned, I asked God for forgiveness, and I know that God has forgiven me. However, every time I think of my ex-boyfriend, it is so\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43143,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-had-sex-with-my-ex-boyfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":50153,"position":2},"title":"I had sex with my ex-boyfriend","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 1, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have been feeling this guilt and regret over the sexual sin I committed over two weeks ago. I have made a very wrong decision that I am constantly regretting ever since. My ex-boyfriend and I had sex one night while my sister was gone for a couple of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43940,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-can-i-do-my-husband-seems-to-have-no-desire-for-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":50153,"position":3},"title":"What can I do? My husband seems to have no desire for sex","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 11, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I am a woman and my question is regarding sexual lust and perversion; therefore, you can understand my asking you and not my home pastor, especially when most churches still regard women who struggle with these sorts of issues with a certain type of disdain. As were most\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":38443,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-want-to-move-on-after-my-boyfriend-left\/","url_meta":{"origin":50153,"position":4},"title":"I want to move on after my boyfriend left","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: It's been three years since we started dating. It all began because we had sex. We are trying to do the right thing by dating and getting married one day so that we would remain each others' first. We couldn't stop the sexual sin. Now we have broken up.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44222,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-i-have-had-sex-with-the-same-gender-and-watch-gay-porn-does-that-mean-i-am-a-homosexual\/","url_meta":{"origin":50153,"position":5},"title":"If I have had sex with the same gender and watch gay porn, does that mean I am a homosexual?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 27, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have had sex with both men and women I am 18 and thoroughly enjoyed both encounters. I am starting to find that I enjoy watching gay porn and am fantasizing about men more and more. Does this mean that I am homosexual? 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