{"id":49743,"date":"2017-01-12T08:01:00","date_gmt":"2017-01-12T14:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=49743"},"modified":"2022-07-11T13:34:39","modified_gmt":"2022-07-11T18:34:39","slug":"my-girlfriend-promises-that-we-wont-have-sex-but-every-time-she-comes-over-we-do-it-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-girlfriend-promises-that-we-wont-have-sex-but-every-time-she-comes-over-we-do-it-again\/","title":{"rendered":"My girlfriend promises that we won&#8217;t have sex, but every time she comes over we do it again"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>Please I need some advice. I am a Christian. I have a girlfriend who is not a Christian and I have committed fornication with her. Whenever I commit the act with her I feel guilty. I am not at peace and I ask God to forgive me. The worst part of it is that she does not feel bad about it. Even if I try to stop her from coming to my house, she will say that she cannot live without me. She will promise that when she comes we are not going to do anything, like touching and all that. But by the time she comes I am not able to resist her. I fall into the act again. My Christianity is going the wrong way. My Christianity is at stake. I wanted to put her away slowly, but it was not happening. I don&#8217;t want to connect with her again because if I do it will be difficult for me.<\/p>\n<p>Please help me. What can I do to really stop her so that I can serve God and have peace? Please help.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>While you are sorry for your sins, that sorrow has not led you to make any dramatic changes in your life.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;<em>For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter<\/em>&#8221; (II Corinthians 7:10-11).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>You are dealing with a girl who sees getting your pants off of you as a sport. &#8220;<em>For they do not sleep unless they have done evil; and their sleep is taken away unless they make someone fall<\/em>&#8221; (Proverbs 4:16). She tells you that she can&#8217;t live without you because that appeals to your ego. It makes you feel important. She promises not to lure you into sex because that is what you want to hear, even though you know it is not what she intends. &#8220;<em>This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth, and says, &#8220;I have done no wickedness&#8221; <\/em>&#8221; (Proverbs 30:20). She is successful because once she gets you sexually aroused, you can&#8217;t think of anything but having sex with her.<\/p>\n<p>The problem is that you are waiting too late to resist her. You invite her over, knowing what is going to happen, and she takes that as an invitation to have sex. Your initial resistance is just a game that adds spice to her seduction. Where you have to put a stop to this is her contact with you. &#8220;<em>Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of evil. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn away from it and pass on<\/em>&#8221; (Proverbs 4:14-15). There is no gently, slowly letting go of this type of person because she is actively undermining your resolve. As Jesus stated, &#8220;<em>If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter into life maimed, rather than having two hands, to go to hell, into the fire that shall never be quenched&#8211; where &#8216;Their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched&#8217;<\/em>&#8221; (Mark 9:43-44). Jesus is using hyperbole to make a point. Hell is far too dangerous to keep something that is causing you to sin. An alcoholic has to throw out all the bottles of alcohol in his home. You will have to immediately and permanently dump this girl &#8212; block her phone number, don&#8217;t talk to her, and definitely don&#8217;t be with her, especially in a private place. Politely tell her that she is no longer your girlfriend and that you want nothing more to do with her because she will not stop luring you into sex. Regardless of what she says, remember that Jesus says a person&#8217;s actions tell you what kind of person she is, not her words (Matthew 7:16-20). Then stick with cutting her out of your life.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Response:<\/h2>\n<p>Thank you very much, sir. This will be a good help to me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: Please I need some advice. I am a Christian. I have a girlfriend who is not a Christian and I have committed fornication with her. Whenever I commit the act with her I feel guilty. I am not at peace and I ask God to forgive me. The worst part of it is that&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[1572],"class_list":["post-49743","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":44691,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-talk-to-a-friend-who-has-started-experimenting-with-sex\/","url_meta":{"origin":49743,"position":0},"title":"How do I talk to a friend who has started experimenting with sex?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 16, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Good evening sir, Sadly I write to you seeking some sort of advice as I am not only troubled but do not know how to handle this situation. One of my friends throughout high school and now college (although she is closer to my girlfriend) just did something I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20229,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/since-i-had-sex-with-my-girlfriend-does-this-mean-i-am-married-to-her\/","url_meta":{"origin":49743,"position":1},"title":"Since I had sex with my girlfriend, does this mean I am married to her?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 21, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello brother. Thank you for the good web site and for the questions and answers that you have posted. I have a question and a problem that I want you to help me to solve. I have been dating a girl for three years. She has been really close\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43957,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-keep-repeating-my-sexual-sins\/","url_meta":{"origin":49743,"position":2},"title":"I keep repeating my sexual sins","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 12, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am 27 years old. I am unworthy to say I am a Christian, but I have the knowledge of God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. I was baptized and have been going to church for more than 20 years. I am working and received many of God's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":45058,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/how-do-i-overcome-knowing-my-girlfriend-had-sex-with-other-guys\/","url_meta":{"origin":49743,"position":3},"title":"How do I overcome knowing my girlfriend had sex with other guys?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 14, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: There are some troubling things that I have questions about my girlfriend. I have known my girlfriend since senior high school. After she graduated she got into a relationship with a guy who was not attached to God. He pleased her flesh, but he also abused her at the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34479,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-fell-into-fornication-ive-broken-up-with-her-but-should-i-tell-her-why\/","url_meta":{"origin":49743,"position":4},"title":"I fell into fornication. I&#8217;ve broken up with her, but should I tell her why?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 23, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi Sir, I have come across your site reading your\u00a0articles on courtship and relationship matters while searching for articles on how to prepare myself for a godly relationship in the future. And I thank God for your sound advice and guidelines in how we should live our lives as\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":46700,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/im-depressed-that-my-girlfriend-isnt-a-virgin\/","url_meta":{"origin":49743,"position":5},"title":"I&#8217;m depressed that my girlfriend isn&#8217;t a virgin","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 14, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I am 21. I am not very sensitive. I can easily overcome any bad time, but these days something very bad happened to me -- actually, I don't know if it is bad, or if I'm making it worse. Starting with me: I like girls and I always\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49743","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=49743"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49743\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=49743"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=49743"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=49743"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}