I can be very detail-oriented. Sometimes I feel like my words aren’t inaccurate, and I wonder if I should look at it as lying. There are still certain things I don’t know if I should think of as lying. For example, is saying “sorry” as a polite gesture wrong if I don’t feel remorse for whatever I did? How about saying, “I love you”?<\/p>\n
For example, I just talked to my grandmother. She lives far away, and I don’t have a very deep relationship with her. Before her birthday I hadn’t talked with her in months, I think. In wrapping up our phone call, she told me she loved me, and I naturally echoed it back. But based on my actions, you can tell I don’t show a lot of care for the relationship. Unlike the Bible’s original Greek, which was more specific with its different words for love, our word love can mean different things. So saying, “I love you,” could mean different things. I could use this to try to justify myself.<\/p>\n
I had another situation recently that was similar. I went to help a widow in the congregation. She gives us opportunities to grow because she is somewhat needy. I would not describe her as a widow to be put on “the list” as described in 1 Tim 5. She needed help though, so I went to take care of what she needed to be done. After I helped her, she gave me a hug and said, “I love you”. Although it felt a little awkward, I told her that I loved her too. Even though she can be needy and a bit annoying, I had chosen to show her love even though I didn’t feel it for her. That’s how I justified those things in my mind.<\/p>\n
Do you think I’ve been lying? Words can be thrown around so carelessly, but sometimes I get caught up in what they mean. I’d appreciate insight!<\/p>\n\t
As I tell many people over and over, feelings don’t determine what proper action ought to be. If you accidentally bump into someone, you should say “sorry” or “excuse me” regardless of your current feelings. “He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But whoever walks wisely will be delivered<\/em>” (Proverbs 28:26).<\/p>\n While you might not have a deep, close relationship with your grandmother, you ought to have a love for her as a family member. Look at I Corinthians 13:4-8 and notice that love is about how you treat another person regardless of how they treat you. I Corinthians 13 is about the love between brethren. So it is proper to do good (Galatians 6:9-10) and to show love for a fellow Christian. It isn’t a feeling, love is what you do.<\/p>\n See:\u00a0Love is …<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0Love Is a Verb<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I can be very detail-oriented. Sometimes I feel like my words aren’t inaccurate, and I wonder if I should look at it as lying. There are still certain things I don’t know if I should think of as lying. For example, is saying “sorry” as a polite gesture wrong if I don’t feel remorse…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[546,65,392],"class_list":["post-49646","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-feelings","tag-love","tag-lying"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":27406,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-lied-to-my-girlfriend-telling-her-i-was-a-virgin-when-i-am-not-what-should-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":49646,"position":0},"title":"I lied to my girlfriend, telling her I was a virgin when I am not. What should I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"May 11, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: My girlfriend and I recently talked a bit about our past relationships, and the subject of being virgins slowly came up. Although I have tried my best to live a good Christian life, there came a point where under pressure I lost my virginity. It only occurred once and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":36635,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-i-dont-tell-my-wife-i-sinned-isnt-that-lying\/","url_meta":{"origin":49646,"position":1},"title":"If I don’t tell my wife I sinned, isn’t that lying?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 25, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello. I've been reading through many of the posts on your site regarding adultery\u00a0and\u00a0lying.\u00a0 I have found much of it to be very helpful, but I am struggling with some of what you advise.\u00a0 In several of the posts on adultery, you advise the person who committed adultery that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5278,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/will-i-be-unhappy-marrying-a-girl-who-is-not-a-virgin\/","url_meta":{"origin":49646,"position":2},"title":"Will I be unhappy marrying a girl who is not a virgin?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 4, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Sir, I would like to ask a question about what I should do regarding my relationship. I am having difficulty deciding on a solution. Also, please consider our culture and community's point of view. I have a girlfriend. We are both in our mid-twenties. We have been together\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":34515,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-lied-to-my-girlfriend-about-being-a-virgin-and-it-has-been-bothering-me-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":49646,"position":3},"title":"I lied to my girlfriend about being a virgin and it has been bothering me. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 27, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have something that's been bothering me lately, and I have to get it out somewhere. I started dating this girl four years ago for two years. While we were dating we were completely in love and agreed that we wouldn't have sex until marriage. After we broke up\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":44388,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-found-out-my-girlfriend-has-been-lying-to-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":49646,"position":4},"title":"I found out my girlfriend has been lying to me","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 27, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am in a relationship with my girlfriend for about a year, and for about the first 10 months she lied to me that she is a virgin. She always told me that those who lose their virginity before marriage are sinners. I started loving her for her thoughts.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":24197,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-all-lying-bad\/","url_meta":{"origin":49646,"position":5},"title":"Is all lying bad?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"August 7, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: This question is about lying. Is lying in all views, such as white lies or small lies, a sin? Is there such a thing as using a lie to help someone? I can't think of a good example now, but I do hope you know what I mean. 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