{"id":49132,"date":"2016-09-27T21:27:00","date_gmt":"2016-09-28T02:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/?p=49132"},"modified":"2022-07-01T21:31:07","modified_gmt":"2022-07-02T02:31:07","slug":"my-daughter-claims-she-doesnt-have-to-get-married-to-have-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-daughter-claims-she-doesnt-have-to-get-married-to-have-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"My daughter claims she doesn&#8217;t have to get married to have sex"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t<h2>Question:<\/h2>\n<p>Hello,<\/p>\n<p>I came across your website and I have read several articles pertaining to the subject of premarital sex but I have a very unique situation for which I cannot find an answer.<\/p>\n<p>My daughter and her fianc\u00e9 have engaged in premarital sex. When I confronted her about this and gently told her that they needed to repent to God, her reply to me was, &#8220;In my eyes, we are already married, so I did not sin.&#8221; Her reasoning is that a piece of paper does not make a marriage.<\/p>\n<p>I told her that she was correct that a piece of paper does not make a marriage, but a marriage is a covenant agreement between the husband and wife and God. Her reply was that she and her fianc\u00e9 are committed to each other and will be getting married in the near future, so, as far as she is concerned, he is already her husband because he is the man that she is committed to.<\/p>\n<p>She then asked what people used to do in biblical times before they were married by a priest or pastor or clergy. This would include times before the Levitical priesthood.<\/p>\n<p>Her attitude of non-repentance regarding this is a big issue. What do I tell her? Any help or advice regarding this situation would be greatly appreciated.<\/p>\n\t<h2>Answer:<\/h2>\n<p>This is not a unique situation. You&#8217;ll find similar arguments that your daughter is making on this website. Your daughter is trying to play both sides at once. She claims she is already married because she is &#8220;committed;&#8221; yet, she plans to get married. Thus, she admits she is not currently married. Therefore, she proves that she lies to herself and others.<\/p>\n<p>She admits that she is having sex with a boy she is not married to; yet, she claims she is not sinning in her eyes. Thus, she is stating that she has no respect for God and His authority because she feels that her beliefs overrule God.<\/p>\n<p>In answer to her question, people were joined as husband and wife from the very beginning (Genesis 2:24). That joining was done by God and not man. &#8220;<em>And He answered and said to them, &#8220;Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning &#8216;made them male and female,&#8217; and said, &#8216;For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh&#8217;? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate&#8221; <\/em>&#8221; (Matthew 19:4-6). That joining by God comes about by the covenant that a man and woman make before God and witnesses. &#8220;<em>Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant<\/em>&#8221; (Malachi 2:14). You can see this in the words of King Lemuel&#8217;s mother when she calls her son, &#8220;<em>son of my vows<\/em>&#8221; (Proverbs 31:2).<\/p>\n<p>Like a number of people, your daughter foolishly assumes that modern times are different from ancient times and that marriage covenants must have developed over time. The truth is that marriage existed from the time of the first two people. Details of the ceremony may change, but the core of what makes a marriage &#8212; the covenant &#8212; remains.<\/p>\n<p>As a parent, you don&#8217;t have to support her in her sin. You can tell her she is on her own and when she gets married you&#8217;ll gladly accept her and her husband in your home.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Question: Hello, I came across your website and I have read several articles pertaining to the subject of premarital sex but I have a very unique situation for which I cannot find an answer. My daughter and her fianc\u00e9 have engaged in premarital sex. When I confronted her about this and gently told her that&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[1572],"class_list":["post-49132","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":19650,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-want-to-marry-this-woman-but-i-dont-know-if-it-is-right\/","url_meta":{"origin":49132,"position":0},"title":"I want to marry this woman, but I don&#8217;t know if it is right","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 8, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I met a beautiful amazing woman, and I want to marry her and start a family with her. She is a Christian, and we make a great team. However, there are some hesitations on my part. She had sex when she was younger to an unbeliever, but she didn't\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":19658,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/does-premarital-sex-make-you-married-or-cursed\/","url_meta":{"origin":49132,"position":1},"title":"Does premarital sex make you married or cursed?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 16, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I know you are super busy all the time, but if you get a chance sometime, could you help untangle my spiritual thoughts? I am asking for help regarding two theologies out there concerning marriage: One theology is that the first person you have sex with you are married\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2186,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/is-it-right-for-my-parents-to-reject-my-fiance\/","url_meta":{"origin":49132,"position":2},"title":"Is it right for my parents to reject my fiance?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"January 4, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello Minister, I started praying to God for a wife and stated the qualities I wanted each time I prayed. My prayer used to go like this: \"Dear Lord, give me a woman who has a heart for you, one who would love me and be loyal, and increase\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37423,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-married-because-i-did-sexual-acts-with-my-girlfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":49132,"position":3},"title":"Am I married because I did sexual acts with my girlfriend?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 9, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am 21 years old. I have been dating a girl my same age for about 6 months. We are both baptized Christians but have made serious mistakes. About a month ago, she gave me a hand-job. This happened three times but after the third time, I felt awful\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":46198,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-really-married-since-the-marriage-traditions-in-my-community-are-contrary-to-gods-laws\/","url_meta":{"origin":49132,"position":4},"title":"Am I really married since the marriage traditions in my community are contrary to God&#8217;s laws?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 29, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Brother, Thank you for the important site you have created in order to answer those questions that affect Christians' lives. I live in a community where people are influenced by traditional superstition and idolatry. I found out that our tradition of marriage is as far as heaven from\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":14974,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-husband-was-previously-involved-in-a-marriage-scam-is-my-marriage-legitimate\/","url_meta":{"origin":49132,"position":5},"title":"My husband was previously involved in a marriage scam. Is my marriage legitimate?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 9, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Thank you for reading and responding. I have found your articles and answers to be very helpful and I\u2019m happy a platform as such exists.\u00a0 I met my husband the same day he filed for divorce and things between us moved fast. We were married in less than a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Answer&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49132","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=49132"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49132\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=49132"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=49132"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=49132"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}