I am a born-again Christian for just over five years. Since then I haven’t been involved in any sexual relationship, but before I became born again, I was involved with someone with whom I have a child. He moved to another country a few years ago.<\/p>\n
Now the thing is, he has been telling me that we should get back together. I informed my pastor about this and he asked me to tell him to come to church so that they can talk. I told him as I was requested, and he told me that he will do so. But in all these years he hasn’t come to our country. We have been communicating only via telephone and last month he came to my country to visit. We hugged but nothing happened. However, he wants to come again and stay for the next six months.<\/p>\n
Now my concern is: this week when we spoke on the phone, he spoke to me that he wants another child with me. I told him that we will talk. To be honest with you, I am worried that I might end up falling because it’s not easy to be in a relationship with a person that you have a child with especially from my cultural background. This is wrong. That is why I decided to pop my question to you. I love him, and I really want to be with him. But I want us to get married first. Is it possible for a couple to be married without a license immediately?<\/p>\n
My other question is, if he comes now, and informs my pastor that he wants to marry me, will he be put on a waiting period since he is not a member of our church? Is there a quick way of getting married without a license from the church so that we will not fall into sin? And lastly, what best advice will you give me so that I can stay strong and not fall into sin?<\/p>\n
Thank you so much for your help. May the Lord bless you.<\/p>\n\t
Since he came to your country last month, why didn’t he meet with your preacher?<\/p>\n
If he comes, he has to find his own place to stay, especially since he has already told you that he wants to have sex with you and it appears he doesn’t care whether the two of you are married. Until you are married, don’t spend time in a private setting with him. The temptation will be too great.<\/p>\n
I looked up your country’s marriage laws and there is no waiting requirement. If your preacher does not wish to marry you, you can always get a civil marriage done by the government.<\/p>\n
Now, what I want you to think about is why has he not married you in all these years? Why has he spent years not being involved in his child’s life, but wants another child? How sure are you that he doesn’t have another woman in another country? I hate pointing out these questions, but I want you to make a good decision concerning your life and your child’s life.<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Question: I am a born-again Christian for just over five years. Since then I haven’t been involved in any sexual relationship, but before I became born again, I was involved with someone with whom I have a child. He moved to another country a few years ago. Now the thing is, he has been telling…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[149,1572],"class_list":["post-48770","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-dating","tag-fornication"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":33341,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/my-parents-are-against-my-dating-a-man-even-though-he-has-now-become-a-christian-what-do-i-do\/","url_meta":{"origin":48770,"position":0},"title":"My parents are against my dating a man, even though he has now become a Christian. What do I do?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"June 21, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi! I'm in my early twenties, and I grew up in a Christian home. I met my boyfriend when he was not a Christian because we work in the same place. He was divorced about ten years ago. Until then, my parents, who are strong Christians, told me they\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":51985,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/do-i-wait-for-my-boyfriend-to-marry-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":48770,"position":1},"title":"Do I wait for my boyfriend to marry me?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 20, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I am in my thirties. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 15 years now. We have a child who is 8 years old now. 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People are aware\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43846,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-being-selfish-and-covetous-in-marrying-a-woman-who-had-a-child-by-another-man\/","url_meta":{"origin":48770,"position":4},"title":"Am I being selfish and covetous in marrying a woman who had a child by another man?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 6, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Greetings, I met my fianc\u00e9e last year and we became friends. We go to the same church. Later we decided to pray and ask God if we should get married and we did get confirmation. So we went to our pastor and told him of our decision. We are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":36263,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/suppose-i-was-born-a-muslim\/","url_meta":{"origin":48770,"position":5},"title":"Suppose I Was Born a Muslim","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 2, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"by Osamagbe Lesley Egharevba Unmasking Sophistry, vol. 1, no. 2, July-September 2021 Introduction Several times during our evangelistic trips as gospel preachers, while moving from house to house in an effort to fulfill the Great Commission - a method known by some as \"door-knocking\" or \"door-to-door,\" we have approached people\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48770","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48770"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48770\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48770"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48770"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48770"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}