I moved in with my boyfriend and his grandma. Before I moved in we had talked about marriage, so I assumed that we would marry shortly after I moved in. After a few months my boyfriend said to me, “You know, we are like husband and wife, even though we aren’t legally married.” He told me that his grandmother doesn’t want us to get married — that we will have to wait until after she dies because she doesn’t trust that if he dies before me that I would take care of her. Also, he was married three times before, so she doesn’t really trust anyone else.<\/p>\n
What should I do? Will God hold this against me when I die? I do believe in God and Jesus as my Savior.<\/p>\n
Help, please!<\/p>\n\t
While you talk of belief in Jesus, your belief doesn’t reach the point of doing what Jesus said. “But why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do the things which I say?<\/em>” (Luke 6:46).<\/p>\n You are with a guy who has been married three times. That alone should have had the warning flags raised. With that many failed marriages, I doubt that they all ended because his wives died or committed adultery. More likely he has been the cause of the breakups. I would not be at all surprised if you later tell me that he never really divorced his last wife.<\/p>\n Second, you compromised your morals. You knew moving in with him was wrong, but you did it anyway under the false pretense that he would marry you shortly. If he was going to marry you shortly, then you should have waited for the wedding.<\/p>\n Third, none of you know when grandma is going to die. This is merely a delaying tactic. If she is worried about being cared for, then why are you there in the first place? The argument is empty. A person unmarried has no commitment to the spouse’s relatives. If he dies before you, grandma would still be uncared for. I would be more concerned about a grandmother who encourages her grandson to continue his adultery because she sees it as a benefit to herself.<\/p>\n He is not a good man, nor will he make a good husband. Move out and then find a good Christian to marry.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Question: I moved in with my boyfriend and his grandma. Before I moved in we had talked about marriage, so I assumed that we would marry shortly after I moved in. After a few months my boyfriend said to me, “You know, we are like husband and wife, even though we aren’t legally married.” He…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[20],"tags":[66,1711,655],"class_list":["post-48475","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-answer","tag-adultery","tag-cohabitation","tag-living-together"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3066,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/are-all-marriages-spiritually-binding\/","url_meta":{"origin":48475,"position":0},"title":"Are all marriages spiritually binding?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 11, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hello, I attend a church of Christ, and my boyfriend of several years was baptized about a few years ago. We broke up last year for several months due to some differences but have since decided to be back together. My boyfriend is in the military and during the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43846,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/am-i-being-selfish-and-covetous-in-marrying-a-woman-who-had-a-child-by-another-man\/","url_meta":{"origin":48475,"position":1},"title":"Am I being selfish and covetous in marrying a woman who had a child by another man?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"November 6, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Greetings, I met my fianc\u00e9e last year and we became friends. We go to the same church. Later we decided to pray and ask God if we should get married and we did get confirmation. So we went to our pastor and told him of our decision. We are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":22336,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/can-my-girlfriend-and-i-get-married-after-committing-fornication\/","url_meta":{"origin":48475,"position":2},"title":"Can my girlfriend and I get married after committing fornication?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"April 6, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have some issues I want to share with you so you can pray with me and give me some advice. I was searching the web for some answers on some Christian web sites when I came across your answer to a question that I had, and I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":46038,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-plan-to-go-to-his-church-if-we-get-married-isnt-this-enough\/","url_meta":{"origin":48475,"position":3},"title":"I plan to go to his church if we get married. Isn’t this enough?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 20, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Hi! My boyfriend and I have been dating for several months now. The problem we are having is that according to his beliefs, he doesn't practice ritual ceremonies and doesn't believe in ancestor worship. On my side, I believe in these things, but that is not an issue for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39743,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-we-straighten-out-ending-our-past-marriages-would-we-still-be-in-adultery\/","url_meta":{"origin":48475,"position":4},"title":"If we straighten out ending our past marriages, would we still be in adultery?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: I have seen you talking about adultery on a website answering questions. I myself have the same issue. I'm living with my boyfriend of\u00a0five years, and we have a child together. He is married to another woman, but they have been separated for ten years and he has not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":81514,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/if-we-get-married-will-the-sin-stop\/","url_meta":{"origin":48475,"position":5},"title":"If we get married, will the sin stop?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 11, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Do you really answer questions? I have something bothering me. Can you help me with it? I met a woman who has been divorced for a year. I intend to marry her, but the fact is that we have had sexual relations before marriage, and we are living together\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48475","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48475"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48475\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48475"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48475"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48475"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}