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<\/a>The other day, a friend of mine unburdened himself on Facebook about his struggles with depression. He talked about his confusion and fear and self-hatred. I came away from his post feeling deeply saddened and troubled, not only because of his plight, but because of my conviction that as a brotherhood, we have failed him and those like him.<\/p>\nI agree with Steve Wolfgang that the greatest failure of the Lord\u2019s church in the past 50 years has been the failure to raise up men who will be spiritual leaders. Right behind that one, though, is surely our failure to meet the needs of and give a voice to Christians who wrestle with depression, grief, and suffering.<\/p>\n
Indeed, there exists in our teaching and especially in our singing the presumption that Christians ought to be happy people. I think this is driven by salesmanship. We want the lost to come to Christ, so we feel the need to make Christianity as attractive as possible by pretending that everything is A-OK with us. \u201cLook how wonderful my life is!!! Don\u2019t you want to have a life as wonderful as mine???\u201d<\/p>\n
This is problematic for several reasons. First, it\u2019s fundamentally dishonest. You can be a faithful Christian and still, for reasons beyond your control, have a miserable life. To argue otherwise is quite literally to adopt the position of Job\u2019s friends.<\/p>\n
Nonetheless, Christians who are suffering intensely often are expected to paste a smile on and act like nothing\u2019s wrong. I\u2019ve seen a sister who had lost her child six weeks beforehand get rebuked on Facebook for dwelling on her grief. If we believe that Christians ought to be happy all the time, then Christians who are obviously unhappy introduce cognitive dissonance that we\u2019re not prepared to handle. Clearly, even though they have every reason to be unhappy, they must be doing something wrong! Lack of faith, probably.<\/p>\n
Second, it\u2019s not faithful to the witness of Scripture. One would never guess it from much of our teaching and preaching, but the Bible reflects more deeply on human suffering than any other book ever written. Many of the great heroes of faith were men and women of intense suffering.<\/p>\n
Job was one such, obviously, but there are many more. David wrote that he felt like God was drowning him. Elijah pleaded with God to kill him. Paul despaired even of life. Even Christ Himself was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.<\/p>\n
We need to talk about these things because they are written for us to talk about. The book of Job (the whole thing, not just the first two and final chapters) exists for a reason. Half the psalms in Psalms exist for a reason. I Peter exists for a reason. All those stories about the suffering of the godly exist for a reason. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s so we can ignore them and talk about upbeat passages that we\u2019re comfortable with (\u201cDo not be anxious!\u201d) instead.<\/p>\n
Finally, it\u2019s not helpful. Here, I want to focus particularly upon our singing. In contrast to the Psalms, which offer the mourning consolation and sometimes simply self-expression (see Psalm 89, which contains nothing resembling a resolution), our hymn repertoire is overwhelmingly, relentlessly, bouncy and cheerful. The help we offer to suffering brethren frequently sounds like \u201cSing and Be Happy\u201d, which admittedly is fun to sing but seems to have learned compassion from Dolores Umbridge.<\/p>\n
We can do better than this. Indeed, we must. We can be open about our own griefs and understanding toward Christians who can\u2019t get over theirs. We can be honest with the word and grapple with the hard questions about suffering that it presents. We can weep with those who weep in our singing as fully as we rejoice with those who rejoice.<\/p>\n
Will all this sadness and suffering deter seekers? I think the opposite is true. When we act like we don\u2019t have any problems, we aren\u2019t being genuine, and insincerity is always repellent. If, on the other hand, we are willing to be vulnerable and honest, if we offer consolation and meaning to those who mourn, it\u2019s more than likely that mourners will start showing up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
by Matthew Bassford “Like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar on soda, is he who sings songs to a troubled heart” (Proverbs 25:20). The other day, a friend of mine unburdened himself on Facebook about his struggles with depression. He talked about his confusion and fear and self-hatred.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[27],"tags":[397,652,374,746,182],"class_list":["post-4797","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-article","tag-depression","tag-grief","tag-happiness","tag-sadness","tag-suffering"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":36905,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/i-feel-like-a-failure-because-i-didnt-go-to-college-when-i-had-the-chance\/","url_meta":{"origin":4797,"position":0},"title":"I feel like a failure because I didn’t go to college when I had the chance","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"February 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: Dear Mr. Hamilton, I happened to come across your church's website and decided to write to you in hopes of finding an answer. For more than a year now, I have been struggling to find my calling in this world. I know everyone has a different calling in the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":26557,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-rule-of-fear\/","url_meta":{"origin":4797,"position":1},"title":"The Rule of Fear","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"October 23, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"by Matthew W. Bassford I suspect that the longer a preacher works with a congregation, the more the congregation gets used to the preacher and can identify his particular hobbyhorses. That being the case, I\u2019m sure that some of you, at least, have figured out that I\u2019m particularly interested in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":61835,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/the-problem-of-depression\/","url_meta":{"origin":4797,"position":2},"title":"The Problem of Depression","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"July 12, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"by David Weaks Depression's a problem that plagues most people, and Christians are no different. It's a natural part of the human mind to take periodic emotional downturns. Here is the problem for Christians: somewhere along the way, someone decided that depression is a sin for a Christian. As my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/depression-200x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":26140,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/to-the-depressed-or-anxious-who-are-on-medication\/","url_meta":{"origin":4797,"position":3},"title":"To the Depressed or Anxious Who Are on Medication","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"September 21, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"by Douglas Groothuis To those who are depressed or anxious and on medications for it or for those who are considering medication: Christians often consider the use of medications for depression or anxiety a spiritual failure. I know of a Christian man who has been depressed for at least thirty\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/depression-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":7976,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/what-does-the-sign-of-the-water-and-blood-mean-in-john-1934\/","url_meta":{"origin":4797,"position":4},"title":"What does the sign of the water and blood mean in John 19:34?","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"December 11, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: In John 19:34, what does the sign of water and blood mean? Answer: \"But one of the soldiers pierced His side with a spear, and immediately blood and water came out\" (John 19:34). This is not a sign in the sense that the water and blood represented something greater,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Answer"","block_context":{"text":"Answer","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/answer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20813,"url":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/a-godly-man-in-wicked-surroundings\/","url_meta":{"origin":4797,"position":5},"title":"A Godly Man in Wicked Surroundings","author":"Jeffrey Hamilton","date":"March 12, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"by Bill Hall Elijah was a man who reached true greatness in the Lord's service.\u00a0 He was always ready to go where God would send him (I Kings 18:1; 19:15); to pray whenever prayer was needed (I Kings 17:20, 21; 18:36, 37), and to confront evil whenever confrontation was necessary\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Article"","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/scan0004-8-230x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4797","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4797"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4797\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4797"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4797"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4797"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.lavistachurchofchrist.org\/cms\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/faces-64171_960_720.jpg\")
<\/a>The other day, a friend of mine unburdened himself on Facebook about his struggles with depression. He talked about his confusion and fear and self-hatred. I came away from his post feeling deeply saddened and troubled, not only because of his plight, but because of my conviction that as a brotherhood, we have failed him and those like him.<\/p>\n